weekend event planner

Here are the top 12 things to do in Houston on New Year's Eve weekend

Shen Yun leaps into town.

Photo courtesy of Shen Yun

Hard to believe, but 2023 is almost here. Those ready to party on New Year's Eve can check out these parties and events. Folks looking for dining options can find reservations here — and nurse those hangovers at New Year's brunch here.

Other fun includes holiday magic courtesy of Trans-Siberian Orchestra and a funny Cirque romp. Shen Yun leaps into town, and plenty of NYE parties — including a sneaker-themed bash — help you ring in 2023.

Enjoy, stay safe, and have a happy new year. Here are your best bets for New Year's Eve weekend.

Thursday, December 29

Trans-Siberian Orchestra presents The Ghosts of Christmas Eve – the Best of TSO & More

Progressive rock group Trans-Siberian Orchestra comes to Houston as part of their 2022 winter tour. They will present a completely updated presentation of the multi-generational holiday tradition. The rock opera features enduring fan favorites like "Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24," "O’ Come All Ye Faithful," "Good King Joy," "Promises To Keep," and "This Christmas Day." They'll also perform a second set containing more of TSO’s greatest hits and fan-pleasers, including “Wizards In Winter,” “A Mad Russian’s Christmas,” and more. 3 pm.

A Magical Cirque Christmas

In this comedic, musical, and magic-filled holiday experience, world-acclaimed performers and cirque artists take audiences back in time, immersing them in the spirit of the season and performing Christmas classics through the decades. There will be jaw-dropping magic, big laughs, holiday music, and stunning acrobatic performances. Acts returning for this season’s tour include Rola Bola performer and unicyclist Jonathan Rinney, juggler Christopher Stoinev, and foot juggling duo Ray Rodriguez Lara and Henry D’Boyd Collado Green. 7:30 pm.

Improv Houston presents Ms. Pat

Patricia Williams (aka Ms. Pat) is a comedian, author, podcaster, and actress who brings a raw, in-your-face, and hilarious perspective to her work. She has appeared on NBC’s Last Comic Standing, Comedy Central’s This Is Not Happening, Netflix’s Larry Charles’ Dangerous World of Comedy, TV Guide Network’s Standup in Stilettos, Nickelodeon’s Mom’s Night Out, was just featured in the second season of the Netflix stand-up series Degenerates, and can be seen on the Netflix series The Cabin with Bert Kreischer. 8 pm (7:30 and 9:45 pm Friday; 7 and 9:30 pm Saturday).

Friday, December 30

Shen Yun

Shen Yun’s unique artistic vision expands theatrical experience into a multi-dimensional, deeply moving journey. Featuring one of the world’s most ancient and richest dance systems — classical Chinese dance- along with dynamic animated backdrops and all-original orchestral works, Shen Yun opens a portal to a civilization of enchanting beauty and enlightening wisdom. While Shen Yun cannot perform in China today, it’s sharing this precious heritage with the world. 7:30 pm (1 pm Saturday; 2 & 7 pm Sunday).

Quippie (Queer + Hippie) Rise: New Year’s Party

Trade crowded bars for a one-of-a-kind, free-thinking NYE. Groove to conscious creatives, good eats, & love at a sexy venue. Join this 25-and-up night festival for the spiritual baes, the hippie music heads, and the holistic hotties. What should you expect? A ceremonial intention-setting circle, followed by games, light delicious bites, and an open bar to groove the night away. There will also be live tarot card readings, a $100 outfit contest, a champagne toast, live DJs, and oodles more. 8 pm.

The Doo Wop Project in concert

In their epic shows, The Doo Wop Project takes audiences on a journey featuring foundational tunes from the Crests, Belmonts, and Flamingos, through the vocal artistry of Smokey Robinson, The Temptations, and The Four Seasons, all the way to doo-wopified versions of modern hits from Michael Jackson, Jason Mraz, Maroon 5, and Sam Smith. The Doo Wop Project brings unparalleled authenticity of sound and vocal excellence to recreate, and in some cases entirely reimagine, the greatest music in American pop and rock history. 8:30 pm.

Saturday, December 31

The Annie presents A Rat Pack New Year’s Eve Supper Club

Ring-a-ding in 2023 with this oh-so-swinging shindig at The Annie. This will be an evening with live musical entertainment by The Richard Brown Band featuring their Rat Pack. There will be two seatings: at 6 pm for $250 per person and 9:15 pm for $350 per person. Guests can listen to the greatest hits plus other big band tunes, while enjoying a three-course prix-fixe meal by executive chef Robert Del Grande and chef de cuisine Jose Valencia. Reservations are required. 6 pm.

Agenda Houston presents 5015 NYE Sneaker Gala

Ken Haggerty, founder and CEO of Agenda Houston, the city's premiere destination for collectable sneakers and designer streetwear, has teamed up with The Bar 5015 to host this New Year’s Eve gala. Haggerty, a true sneaker aficionado who was recently named one of Houston's 31 most fascinating and viral celebrities of 2022, will have a special customized sneaker bar and sneaker giveaways from his coveted collection. 8 pm.

Theatre Southwest presents Everybody Loves Opal

In John Patrick’s comedy, Opal, a middle-aged recluse, lives in a tumbledown mansion at the edge of the municipal dump. Opal is an optimist, for no matter how mean her lot - or how mean her "friends" - Opal responds with unfailing kindness and an abiding faith in the goodness of human nature. The December 31 performance is part of Theatre Southwest's annual New Year's gala. The show will officially run Friday, January 6 through Saturday, January 21. 8 pm.

Sunday, January 1

New Year’s Day Hangover Brunch at Urban South HTX

Urban South HTX has got the perfect cure-all day planned for your post-NYE shenanigans, Join them for a hangover brunch, as Gastro Craft cooks up a brunch menu of epic proportions. They will also be serving up Michelada Lager and Mimosa Hard Seltzer. And don’t forget sportsball on the TV, a bounce house for the kiddos, and $12 core pitchers for that extra-large, pick-me-up option. 11 am.

Sunday Funday at Chapman & Kirby

Since Chapman & Kirby has a brunch and day party every Sunday, why not spend New Year’s Day over there? At noon through four, they’ll have all the brunch goodies: chicken and waffles, shrimp and grits, steak and eggs, etc. If you can’t make it that early, there’s always the day social and late lunch after that. That’s when they’ll serve up burgers, tacos, and short ribs. There will also be DJs, games on the big screens, and more. Noon.

The Museum of Fine Arts, Houston presents The Eternal Daughter

An artist and her elderly mother confront long-buried secrets when they return to a former family home, now a hotel haunted by its mysterious past. Featuring a towering, deeply moving performance by Tilda Swinton in dual roles, this new film from acclaimed director Joanna Hogg (The Souvenir, The Souvenir Part II) is a brilliant and captivating exploration of parental relationships and the things people leave behind. 5 pm.

Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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