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Crazy Or Crazy In Love?

Did Jessica Simpson force desperate ex-NFLer Eric Johnson to get engaged?

Did Jessica Simpson buy her own engagement ring? Rumors circulate that the star paid more than $100,000 for her sparkler because her beau, former NFL player Eric Johnson, is broke.

Or at least, not near JSimp rich. (He was drafted in the seventh round and never earned anything close to a big contract during his brief career, what do you expect?) 

Who cares who paid for it! The real question is did he actually commit to marrying her? Or did she just decide marriage would be "totes cute" and buy the first big rock she saw?

It doesn't matter if you're a girl or guy — buying an engagement ring before you're sure your partner wants to get married means you're a legit crazy person. (Other symptoms of legit crazies include confusing tuna fish and chicken, mixing up continents and vowels and mistaking Nick Lachey for someone worth marrying.)

Part of me sincerely doubts she bought the ring herself. No sane female would pick out something so heinous.

An insider in the jewelry industry states Simpson's ring is "a fugly ruby surrounded by some fugtastic diamonds on a fug-ass gold band."

Sure, a ruby may make your scarlet nail polish and Christmas sweaters pop, but it's not appropriate for everyday wear.

And gold? Good god! The symbol of your marriage should at least try to be classy, a.k.a platinum.

(OK, I admit I often wear gold. But my gold pieces are either thrift store finds or my grandmother's old costume jewelry.)

Who gets a ruby and then surrounds it with other junk in the first place? That's only classy if royalty does it and then only because you can joke about it being the "crown jewels."

A final pressing question — how the hell is Eric Johnson broke? I'm no sports expert, but don't even non-star professional athletes make a little bank? Though it's been a while since Johnson's worn a uniform, you'd think he'd have saved up some cash. Where did it all go?

Perhaps in Hollywood "broke" means "unable or unwilling to purchase a $100,000 ring."

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