Hoffman's Houston
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Ken Hoffman sounds off on Sarah Palin's 'brilliant' Houston visit and Emmy proposals

Ken Hoffman on Sarah Palin's 'brilliant' visit and Emmy proposals

Ken Hoffman Emmy proposal
Hoffman wasn't impressed with this Emmy proposal.  Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images
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Sarah Palin is coming to town for the Brilliant Lecture Series. 
Ken Hoffman Lulu's Bakery
Lulu's chicken tenders are the size of a whole chicken breast.  Photo by Ken Hoffman
Ken Hoffman Emmy proposal
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Ken Hoffman Lulu's Bakery

It's not an official holiday, but it should be ... "Last day of the year you have to mow your lawn in Houston." Channel 2 weather forecaster pinpoints "November 28" this year. "Or if you have a bad memory, just think Thanksgiving," he adds.

Saw a Twitter question from Larry FooteSack: If Twitter had a profile song, what would your profile song be? Mine would be "Revolution" by the Beatles, the single version (flip side of "Hey, Jude").

Time fur a change
Two cities with good ideas. Florence, Italy has a new law prohibiting eating outside on four popular tourist streets. People are slobs and litterbugs. Los Angeles is making moves to ban the sale of animal fur. Wearing fur is a bad idea, it's grotesque. Fur coats aren't even attractive. They're gross. It's not like fur coats are an explainable by-product of food production. Those animals are raised just for their fur. Would love to see Houston do a similar law.

The not-so-brilliant-lecture series?
Last week, I interviewed Broadway star Kristin Chenoweth before her "Brilliant Lecture Series" event on the UH campus. Next up, Sarah Palin and Donna Brazile on October 27. For this one time, they need to drop "Brilliant" from the name of this series. Hats off to the producers for finding two dummies with no contact with reality, no common sense, no touch for regular folk, who managed to lose "can't lose" elections.

Barf barge
Remember the Jacks or Better gambling cruise ship that operated out of Galveston last year? It wasn't smooth sailing, and now the boat has relocated to Tybee Island, South Carolina, where residents aren't thrilled about its arrival. I took that Voyage of the Damned when it was here. I never saw so many people vomit in one place in my life.

Which Astros pitcher stays?
Made a bet with a buddy. He says neither Dallas Keuchel nor Charlie Morton will be pitching for the Astros in 2019. I say at least one of them, hopefully both, will be back. I'm feeling good about my bet. A couple of Astros will have to go, but we're not the Miami Marlins, breaking a winning team to bits to save money.

Grab this shake
How good does this sound? Fuddruckers has a new Black Forest Shake: starts with a classic chocolate shake, spiked with lots of sweet dark cherries and brownie chunks. Sadly, it's an LTO — limited time only.

WWE wrap
Drove to San Antonio with friends last Sunday to catch the WWE "Hell in a Cell" super spectacular card. Roman Reigns vs. Braun Strowman went to a no-decision after Brock Lesnar interfered in the match. Very rude, Brock. Ever hear about waiting to be invited? Becky Lynch wrested away Charlotte Flair's women's championship, and in a mixed tag match, the Miz and Maryse whupped Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella.

For our pre-match meal, went to Lulu's Bakery and Café in San Antonio, home of the 3-pound cinnamon bun ... "as seen on TV." Plus the biggest chicken tenders I've ever seen, Each one was like a whole chicken breast.

I'm familiar with those shoebox-sized cinnamon buns. For a few years, I rode the MS150 charity bike ride from San Antonio to Corpus Christi (before they changed the route to New Braunfels). I liked riding downhill to the sea — made more sense. I would alert Lulu's that I was coming, and a giant cinnamon bun would be waiting in my San Antonio hotel room. Now that's carb-loading ... a whole year's worth.

An indecent (Emmy) proposal
I watched the Emmy Awards. Yeah, I'm a horrible person. But I cringed when that guy proposed marriage to his "girlfriend," whom he's been living with for 10 years. It was such a contrived, "look at us, ain't we adorable" Hollywood act. No, you're not adorable. Do your private moments in private. How about, for your next marriage, or the one after that, you just text the proposal? Although I admit that I loved when Carlos Correa proposed marriage after the Astros won the World Series last year. That was cool.