Weekend events planner

Here are the top 10 things to do in Houston this weekend

The holiday weekend is upon us, which means sleeping in (hello, Sunday Funday without the Monday morning work alarm) and more free time for entertainment. From a champagne tasting and a summer concert series to Erykah Badu onstage and a couple's cooking class, here are the top 10 things to do in Houston this Memorial Day weekend.

For more options, check out the full CultureMap Events Calendar.

Champagne wishes
Thursday, May 25
Get your fill of bubbly at Bosta Kitchen’s champagne tasting, featuring sips of five vintage sparklers by Dom Pérignon, Moët & Chandon, and Veuve Clicquot, along with light bites and a group discussion led by an expert. (6-7:30 pm; tickets: $44 per person)
1801 Binz St #130; 713-533-9560

Meet and greet
Thursday, May 25
Creator of American city guide series, "Wildsam Field Guides," Taylor Bruce, and Joe Nick Patoski, who has written books about Stevie Ray Vaughan, Selena, and Willie Nelson, make an appearance at River Oaks boutique Sid Mashburn. Feast on tacos and imbibe brews by Buffalo Bayou while you mingle and shop. (6-8 pm; tickets: free)
2515 River Oaks Blvd; 713-936-9502

Familiar tunes
Friday, May 26-Monday, May 29
Fleetwood Mac, Stevie Nicks, ZZ Top, and Beach Boys cover bands each take to the stage, each on a different night, at CityCentre’s four-day Summer Tribute concert series. (Friday-Sunday from 7-9 pm; Monday from 4-7 pm; tickets: free)
800 Town & Country Blvd.; 713-629-5200

Cook up a storm
Friday, May 26
Get cooking tips at Brennan's Houston at this “The 70's”-themed cooking demo. Learn how to make dishes like oyster Rockefeller and Arevalo's Creole, a bouillabaisse seafood broth with roasted peppers, fennel). (6:30- 9 pm; tickets: $150 per couple)
3300 Smith St.; 713-522-9711

Dance the night away
Friday, May 26
Salsa your way over to the plaza at Downtown Aquarium and enjoy dance lessons taught by the Texas Salsa Congress’ professional dancers at the Latin Beats event. (7-11 pm; tickets: free)
410 Bagby St. at Memorial Dr.; 713-223-3474

Morning pastries
Saturday, May 27
Don’t miss Kolache Saturday at Revival Market, where you can score delicious pastry treats ($2.50 each) with fillings from peach-and-bourbon to brisket. (8 am until they run out; tickets: free entry).
550 Heights Blvd.; 713-880-8463

On and on
Saturday, May 27
Erykah Badu hits the stage at Arena Theatre as part of her Vs. Everything Tour. Hits by the R&B singer include “Bag Lady,” "Love of My Life (An Ode to Hip-Hop),” and “Next Lifetime.” (8 pm; tickets: $69.50-$99.50 per person)
7326 Southwest Fwy.; 713-772-5900

Aloha
Sunday, May 28
Southern Goods restaurant in the Heights presents live music and a festive menu of luau grub, including two whole roasted pigs, Hawaiian cocktails, and poke. (12-8 pm; tickets: free entry)
632 W 19th St.; 346-980-8152

Block party
Sunday, May 28
Expect performances by Rakim, Frank D’Amato, and more at the Memorial Day music event at Alley Kat. (3 pm-2 am; tickets: free entry, but register before you go)
3718 Main St.

Wrestlemania
Sunday, May 28
The Midtown bar Mongoose versus Cobra celebrates its 5th anniversary with a face-off of Doomsday Wrestlers, live sword fighting, beer and cocktails, plus Indian street food prepared on the patio by Ara Malekian of Harlem Road BBQ. (2 pm-2 am; tickets: free entry, 100 percent of donations go to the Houston Zoo)
1011 McGowen St.

Erykah Badu hits the stage at Arena Theatre.

Erykah Badu at Bomb Factory in Deep Ellum

Photo by Enrico Casino

Erykah Badu hits the stage at Arena Theatre.

event-planner

Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

movies film