Houston lost its final Bachelor Pad contestant Monday night, as Kalon Joseph Reid McMahon joined girlfriend Lindzi Cox on that painful limo ride away from the Bachelor château . . . and it all started with a spelling bee.
At the start of the episode, host Chris Harrison announced that players would couple up for the next few challenges, including a spelling competition judged by a team of preteen wordsmiths.
Already an item for about five weeks, Kalon and Lindzi felt more than confident that their blossoming on-air relationship had forged a tight partnership. Plus, anyone can spell words like "ceremony" and "heart," right? Even if Harrison makes team members alternate letters as they're spelling.
"I'm actually really excited that its a spelling bee," Kalon said, in a bit of Bachelor Pad fore shadowing. "Finally I feel that Lindzi and I may have an advantage."
"I'm actually really excited that it's a spelling bee," Kalon said. "Finally, I feel that Lindzi and I may have an advantage."
In a dressing room interview before the contest, McMahon put on his glasses and announced, "School is in session."
But the wax on the wings of Team K+L began to melt with J-E-W-L-R-Y and C-E-R-O-M-O-N-Y. Before long, they were watching the conniving Chris Bukowski and Sarah Newlon — whom the other contestants were hoping to eliminate next — secure immunity after Jaclyn and Ed spelled "cockamamie" C-O-C-K-A-M-A-Y.
“Ed’s been fucking Jaclyn this whole time, but he really fucked us here,” McMahon said in a rant that had ABC's censors hitting the bleep button. "It's certainly discouraging to have to face this inevitable rose ceremony now.
"The group that's left? We're all friends. We were all initially part of the same alliance. There's no way for this to go well for everyone."
The post-ceremony departure
Always ready for some well-timed drama, reality bad boy Kalon McMahon made sure to leave the Bachelor Pad in style, jumping out of his limousine to join Lindzi in hers.
"I haven't had feelings like this, honestly, ever," he explained to the limo cameraman.
"It's a completely kind of different emotion and attraction than I've ever experienced before," Kalon explained. "And I never thought I would find that here."
"It's a completely kind of different emotion and attraction than I've ever experienced before. And I never thought I would find that here. A lot of them might think we're leaving here with nothing, but as I look at the group we're walking away from, I have to firmly believe that we're the biggest winners of Bachelor Pad."
Coming onto the show, Lindzi said she had little interest in finding romance. "But after these crazy weeks," she said, turning to McMahon. "I can honestly say I'm falling in love with you now."
“All I know is how I feel about you," he said in closing. "And I can’t imagine anyone loving anyone more than I do you.” [Cue music and end scene.]
Take that, Emily Maynard.