More like Rachel HOOCH-i-tel. ZING!
But seriously. Tiger Woods' first recognized mistress (and later alleged homewrecker of David Boreanz), Rachel Uchitel, is joining the next season of Celebrity Rehab. What exactly she's recovering from isn't yet clear, but we assume that if you can go for being a manwhore, you can go for being a famewhore.
TMZ is reporting she's addicted to pain killers and will make about $500,000 for her efforts to kick them. With castmates like resident Hills drunk Jason Wahler, "supermodel" Janice Dickinson, and "the kidnappers made me do it" Jeremy London, she's bound to be a success. It's all about positive influences, right?
No word on whether Uchitel's commitment to Dr. Drew will interfere with her offer from the Donald. Trump reportedly also offered the nightclub promoter a spot on Celebrity Apprentice.