This week's Pethouse Pet of the Week has a lot to say about Sam Malone, Roger Federer, Dunkin' Donuts, David Letterman, and school zone speeding.
Pethouse Pet of the Week
Name: Peaches ... as in "and Herb" and Soupy Sales' girlfriend.
Ethnicity: I'm a cutie-pie, girlie-girl retriever with a splash of you ain't nothing but a hound dog.
Birthdate: April 2, 2016. I'm just gettin' going, with a long life ahead of me. I won't be eligible for a reverse mortgage for another eight dog years. I'm 63 pounds, a full-figured gal, but I shouldn't get any more plus-sized. I'm gentle with kiddies and very neat.
Come and get it: I'm available for adoption at 11 am Friday at Citizens for Animal Protection (17555 Katy Freeway; 281-497-0591). Tell them, "Ken sent me."
Here's a problem with pro tennis:
In 2017, Roger Federer has already won the Australian Open and Wimbledon, two of tennis' grand slam events. He's also won major titles in Indian Wells, Miami, and Halle.
In 2017, Rafael Nadal has won the French Open, a grand slam event, and major tournaments in Monte Carlo, Barcelona, and Madrid. He was the runner-up in the Australian Open, Acapulco, and Miami.
Andy Murray has won one event, in Dubai. He has one runner-up finish, in Doha. The rest of his tournaments, he's either lost before the finals or withdrew with injury. His season has pretty much been a disaster.
Guess who's the No. 1-ranked tennis player in the world? It's Andy Murray. That's because tennis has a ranking system based on the last 12 months instead of the calendar year. It's a ridiculous policy, and makes tennis look foolish. Nobody thinks that Andy Murray is the best player of 2017.
Late night legend
Let me be clear, I think David Letterman is the greatest talk host in television history. He was the comedic voice of his generation. I rarely missed his show. But I'm not sure it's a good idea for him to return with a new talk show on Netflix. I remember watching his last week on CBS, with a couple of "greatest hits" highlights shows. I noticed that most of the bits were from the first half of his years on CBS. He left an indelible legacy. So let it be with Caesar.
Congratulations to Houston broadcasting titans Sam Malone, Bill Ingram, R.W. "catfish" Crouch, and Denise Partridge on being elected to the Texas Radio Hall of Fame. They will be inducted November 4 at the Texas Museum of Broadcasting in Kilgore.
Rumor has it
Not true: rumor is that Southside Place police have been stricken with writer's cramp from ticketing so many drivers for speeding in a school zone on Bellaire Boulevard. Hey, I received a ticket for speeding in a school zone on a day when school wasn't even in session. I got the ticket dismissed when I pointed out that school zone speed limits aren't in effect on days when school isn't in session. Duh! But how many drivers didn't know that ... and paid the ticket? Know your rights.
And by the way
Houston Texans big man Vince Wilfork finally, formally announced his retirement from football. But don't worry, he still will appear in H-E-B commercials with thespian superstar Scott McClelland ("the actors' actor").
Can't believe it's taken this long for Stephen Colbert to pass Jimmy Fallon in the ratings. I can't believe that Jimmy Kimmel hasn't passed Fallon, too. Let's play "Jeopardy." The clue is: "Jimmy Fallon, Jim Carrey, and Conan O'Brien." The correct question is, "Who are three 'funny men' who aren't funny one bit?"
Lots of noise about Dunkin' Donuts considering dropping "Donuts" from its name - and just going by Dunkin'. It's been done, in 2012 Domino's Pizza changed its name to just Domino's. Sometimes companies keeps their name but change their product.
"I think Pringles' original intention was to make tennis balls. But, on the day the rubber was supposed to arrive, a truckload of potatoes showed up. And since Pringles is a laid back company, they said, "F-it, cut 'em up!'" (Thank you, Mitch Hedberg.)