Here's the Pethouse Pet of the Week, and other random thoughts, ranging from George Springer's bowling bash to Jimmy Buffett's Houston visit and the top 10 Beatles songs of all time.
Name: Marty, as in Schottenheimer, Feldman, Robbins, and the winner of the 1955 Academy Award for Best Picture, starring Ernest Borgnine.
Ethnicity: I’m a Dachshund, with a splash of something else. Oh, like everybody in your family is perfect … you don’t have a weird uncle or crazy second cousin?
Birthdate: July 3, 2013.
The art of the deal: I’m available for adoption, starting 11 am Saturday, at Citizens for Animal Protection, 17555 Interstate 10 W. For more information, click on cap4pets.org or call 281-497-0591.
Like the game show, I can be all yours – if the price is right. And the price is right at $99, which includes vaccinations, spay-neutering, medical checks for heartworms, microchipping, and more – a $400 value!
Marty’s musings: If Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” is someone who “for better or for worse... has done the most to influence the events of the year,” then 2017 is a done deal. It’s got to be former FBI director James Comey. It should have been him in 2016, too. Last year he wrecked the campaign of Hillary Clinton. This year, he’s trying to wreck President Trump. It ain’t easy to be hated by both political parties.
The play’s the thing.
Have I got a deal for you. The first 10 people who adopt a dog from Citizens for Animal Protection on Saturday will get two free tickets to The World According to Snoopy, the Theatre Under the Stars (commonly known as TUTS) musical at the Hobby Center for the Performing Arts.
I always thought it should be Theatre IN the Stars.
Bowling for dollars
Astros red hot slugging star George Springer will host his 3rd annual All-Star Bowling Benefit, from 7:30 to 10 pm, Sunday at Lucky Strike in downtown Houston. Proceeds will go to Camp SAY, a summer camp for young people who stutter. Springer, who stutters, is the national spokesperson for Camp Say. Tickets for the event, which includes dinner and cocktail party, begin at $200. Click here to purchase. A silent auction will boast prizes like a J.J. Watt autographed jersey, a Dan Pastorini autographed football, and the opportunity to watch Astros batting practice on the field. Lara Bell and Melissa DeAyala are the co-chairs, with Dr. Carolyn Farb is the honorary chair.
Check out the star-studded array of “celebrity lane captains:” Michael Garfield (KPRC-AM radio), Khambrel Marshall (Channel 2), Randy McIlvoy (Channel 2), Matt Musil (Channel 11), David Nuno (Channel 13), Dan Pastorini (football glory), Chester Pitts (Channel 2), Whitney Mercilus (Houston Texans), Ron Trevino (Channel 11), Barry Warner (KGOW-AM radio), and me (CultureMap).
What’s Mercilus doing on this list? He actually is a celebrity.
I’ve been warned that this is a fun event, nobody’s really keeping score, and the idea is just to raise money for Springer’s charity. Really? Not if you get on my team. I expect my bowlers to lay off the liquor, go easy on the appetizers, and be ready to throw strikes. Remember, “hit ‘em thin, and watch ‘em spin.” We’re here to win, and if we ruin everything for everybody else, that’s their problem.
While the NBA finals between Golden State and Cleveland are racking up all-time high ratings, women’s tennis is hitting the skids. I can’t wait to see the ratings for Thursday’s women’s semifinals at the French Open, with dream matches of Timea Bacsinszky vs. Jelena Ostapenko and Simona Halep vs. Karolina Pliskova.
No Serena, no Sharapova, no Wozniacki, no Kerber, no viewers. That’s the problem with sports – you can’t always get what you want (great song by the Stones).
However, there’s real star power on the men’s side today with hotshot Dominic Thiem facing the great Rafael Nadal, and world No. 1 Andy Murray meeting Stan Wawrinka.
Look for the Golden State Warriors to put the Cleveland LeBrons out of their misery tonight. That’s another problem with sports – sometimes a blockbuster 7-game series ends in a 4-game sweep. All of those high ratings wasted.
Margaritaville on Broadway
I stopped backstage to say hello to Jimmy Buffett before his Thursday night concert at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion. He was excited about the success of his musical Escape to Margaritaville as it tours the country, coming to the Hobby Center in Houston, October 31 through November 5. Wait, it gets better.
“We’re announcing that Escape to Margaritaville is headed to Broadway next year,” he said. The musical will starts its run on the Great White Way on February 16, 2018.
“We will be at the Marquis Theatre and we’re doing something that’s pretty cool. The building is three stories, and we’re going to have tailgating on the second and third levels,” Buffett said.
Tailgating on Broadway is so Jimmy Buffett.
I asked Buffett if he knew what street the Marquis Theatre was on. He said, “It’s in Times Square, baby!”
And that’s an order!
McDonald’s has a deal with UberEats. You call, they deliver … Big Macs, Quarter Pounders, Sausage McMuffins, and those delicioso fries. Click on the UberEats app to get started.
I call it a 213-way tie
People, stop forwarding me the Vulture.com site with writer Bill Wyman (not the former Rolling Stone bass player) ranking all 213 songs recorded by The Beatles.
It’s just a lazy “look at me” argument starter. I can’t take seriously someone who ranks “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Band" (2 minutes and 12 seconds) at No. 82, and the Sgt. Pepper’s reprise (1:19) at No. 48. That’s like saying one slice of pizza is better than two slices.
I can do this, too. Isn’t it time that Rockets fans admitted that David Robinson of the Spurs was a much better player than Hakeem Olajuwon? See? Look at me, I said something stupid.
I’m not going to get into the Vulture.com rankings, but the No. 213 – and worst, supposedly – Beatles song is “Good Day Sunshine.” That’s just silly. “Good Day Sunshine” is worse than “Wild Honey Pie,” “You Know My Name, Look Up the Number” and “Revolution 9,” which isn’t even a song?
Here, in no particular order, are my Top 10 favorite Beatles songs, and I don't want to hear any backtalk: “Here, There and Everywhere,” “All You Need is Love,” “Hello, Goodbye,” “Hey Jude,” “Come Together,” “Revolution” (the hard rocking single version), "Help!,” "A Hard Day’s Night,” “Hey Bulldog,” and “We Can Work It Out.”
Sorry, I left out "A Day in the Life," which may be No. 1.
Ken Hoffman's adoptable Pethouse Pet of the Week runs every Friday on CultureMap. Ken can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter: @KenCultureMap. To have all CultureMap stories, including Ken's columns, delivered to your inbox in one Daily Digest every morning, sign up here.