Fashion Police
Houston dubbed the 21st worst-dressed city in America: How did Dallas beat us?How did we beat San Fran?
A couple of very unfashionable Houstonians.
Is Hobby Lobby a sign that bad fashion is near?Courtesy photo
GQ is sending Houston mixed messages. One second, the mag is raving about Hamilton Shirts’ latest creation; the next, it is knocking our city's collective sense of style — or lack thereof.
In a feature that’s being rolled out over the course of the week on the magazine’s website, a handful of editors and staff writers have rounded up the worst dressed cities in America.
Truth be told, I’m rather surprised by the list, for several reasons. To begin with, I’m shocked that Houston isn’t No. 1. And I’m equally shocked that Dallasites are considered to be slightly more stylish than we are. In addition, I’m surprised that San Francisco — home to some of the best men’s clothing stores in the county — has Houston beat in being badly dressed.
“While mechanical bulls have long since gone the way of the Disco ball, Houston's oil-refining outskirts still boast plenty of country-and-western watering holes,” the article reads. “Usually sandwiched in strip malls between a Chinese buffet and Hobby Lobby, the modern-day cowboy meat market is home to concrete flooring, sexual tension, and Winnebago-sized Texas flags.”
Truth be told, I’m rather surprised by the list, for several reasons. To begin with, I’m shocked that Houston isn’t No. 1.
Upon initially reading this, I was deeply offended. But when I realized that GQ is kind of right here, and that Houston does indeed play host to many strip centers that count a Hobby Lobby, Chinese buffet and crappy Western bar as tenants, I tabled my frustration.
“For every Brooks & Dunn number, the DJ spins a single by Ginuwine or Lil Wayne as women in Daisy Dukes and pearl-snaps gyrate on the dance floor,” author Stayton Bonner goes on. “On the periphery, Stetson and Wrangler-wearing good ol' boys stand alongside a younger generation sporting flat-brimmed baseball caps and Eminem ear studs. The scene is a sartorial equivalent of Trace Adkins' ‘Honky Tonk Badonkadonk.’ Houston, we have a problem.”
This is completely accurate, until Bonner begins to address “the younger generation.” Yes, if you venture out into the city on any given night you will see a lot of poorly dressed men in their twenties and thirties. However, most are wearing boot cut True Religion jeans and oversized Robert Graham shirts. Blackberry holsters and square-toed dress shoes tend to be the accessories of choice as opposed to Eminem ear studs and baseball caps.
And while GQ may be for guys, you can’t knock Houston’s style without addressing the women who somehow think that wearing head to toe luxury labels constitutes as being fashionable.
To the men and women who are guilty of both of the fashion crimes I just described: I blame you for our position on this list. But at least we’re more stylish than Austin.
Oh, and GQ: what’s up with the “Houston, we have a problem” joke? The space shuttle program is so last week ...
