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A naughty Full House and ESPN's breast obsession make the Internet lose its mind

Full House cast
Uncle Jesse takes things to a PG-13 level in a new commerical. Courtesy photo
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ESPN dissects the nip slip seen 'round the world. Photo by Patrick Schneider

Editor's note: There's so much that's beautiful, funny, smart and informative on the Internet. Problem is, there's also a bunch of garbage. Here's the best of the web right now:

1. In the beginning, there was a nipple. ESPN's Marin Cogan described her long-form story on the Super Bowl halftime show seen 'round the world thusly on Twitter: "Ten years ago Janet Jackson's boob was on TV for 9/16ths of a second. The untold story of how it changed everything." Will Bruno Mars up the halftime nudity ante? We'll find out Sunday. 

2. Uncle Jesse from Full House shows he's all grown up. John Stamos gets a little naughty in the latest Dannon Oikos Greek yogurt commercial, which is set to run during the Super Bowl. As was wont to happen when they all shared an abode in San Francisco, Danny Tanner and Uncle Joey spoil Stamos' fun. The boys are back in town indeed.

3. Nicolas Cage has a serious movie coming out and it's called Joe. Save for a bit of hand-to-hand combat, the latest Nick Cage film seems like it won't live up to the hype. And that's a good thing. If Matthew McConaughey can transform from a hard-body doofus to a hard-body serious actor, then anything's possible for Cage. Except of course competing with McConaughey's signature abs.

4. Parov Stelar just wants to dance all night long. And we're fine with that. The limber lad moves his arms and legs with such a fluid motion, it's mesmerizing. The humble trappings of Stelar's makeshift dance floor add a certain charm to the otherwise entirely professional performance, which he posted a year ago but is only now gaining major traction.

5. The biggest stereotype of every state in America in one map. Stereotyping others isn't just fun; it's also easy. If you're looking to kill some time, check out the Twitter account @Amazing_Maps and prepare to get lost in data. The masses apparently think Texas is big and full of executions. Sadly, that's pretty accurate. 

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