This week, I reached out for a really Bad Idea 3.0 — the Nightmare King from America's runner-up burger slinger, Burger King, with 13,000 restaurants around the world and apparently hiding under your bed. Nightmare King isn't exactly the most alluring name for a sandwich, and it's as spooky as promised.
Here's the blueprint: a Whopper-sized beef patty, a crispy fried chicken filet, thick-cut bacon, American cheese, onions, and mayo on a green bun.
On a what? It's true that bad things come in threes. Hot on the heels of the black bun Halloween Whopper in 2015 and the red bun Angriest Whopper a year later, Burger King has concocted a green bun for the Nightmare King. I don't know which is a more horrifying image: customers complaining that the Halloween Whopper bun turned their poop green (you can look it up), or Burger King coming back with mold-colored bun for its Nightmare King.
Anyway...total calories: 1,020. Fat grams: 65. Sodium: 1,890 mg. Carbs: 60 g. Dietary fiber: 3 g. Protein: 51 g. Manufacturer's suggested retail price: $6.49. Boo!
Here's the confounding thing about promoting a green burger bun. We've all pulled out a slice of white bread or bagel or burger bun from the wrapper and found a green spot on it. What's your first thought? This would go great with a burger! Or right in the garbage? This is a kitchen, not a penicillin lab. So why make the whole bun green, on purpose? Very dumb.
Another thing, this "sandwich" has a big ol' beef patty topped with a hunk of fried chicken. Are burgers and fried chicken a thing? Corned beef and turkey on a deli club sandwich, yes. Chicken cordon bleu with ham, absolutely. Love turducken with turkey, duck and chicken. Just never heard of a burger with fried chicken on top.
Burger King claims that, on any given night, 4 percent of American's are tossin' and turnin' (great song by the Ivy League) with bad dreams. But if you eat a Nightmare King before nighty-night, you're 3.5 times more likely to have a a nightmare. And this is a selling point? Time to call in the men in white lab coats waving butterfly
Here's the thing, we love Whoppers. If there's ever a fast food Hall of Fame, the Whopper is a first-ballot lock. Burger King's chicken sandwiches are perfectly okay, too. So why wreck two good products with one bad idea? Let's put an end to Burger King's long national Nightmare...King.
On the other hand, even though it takes two hands, Burger King's new Philly Cheese King is pretty darn terrific. Choose wisely.
Ken Hoffman reviews a new fast food restaurant item every Wednesday. Have a suggestion or a drive-thru favorite? Let Ken know on Twitter.