weekend event planner

These are the 14 best things to do in Houston this weekend

Well, it’s Labor Day Weekend, which means summer is just about over. Close out this freakin’ hot summer by checking out a lot of cool things this weekend.

Squeeze and Boy George will be in town to take you back to the ‘80s. Dustin Nickerson and Beth Stelling will be around to give you some laughs. Jūn and Donkeeboy will provide a day of art and pastries. A Roald Dahl classic will hit the stage. A Japanese Vocaloid artist will provide some experimental grooves. And a Francis Ford Coppola classic will play at the Alamo Drafthouse.

As Jim Morrison sang in that movie, this is the end, beautiful friend. Read on for this weekend’s best bets.

Thursday, August 29

Sawyer Yards and Sabine Street Studios presents "Dance of Gesture" artist talk
As part of the "Dance of Gesture" exhibition, Houston-based Colombian artist Loriana Espinel will host a conversation and live demonstration of her production, Caligrafitis. In her exhibition, Espinel draws inspiration from pre-Columbian pictographs from Chiribiquete National Park in Colombia, as well as Japanese and European calligraphic styles to develop a new visual system. Through Saturday, August 31. 6:30 pm.

Improv Houston presents Dustin Nickerson
Described as “a Seattle native now suffering in Southern California,” Dustin Nickerson describes himself as “the world’s most average person” but is far from it when on stage. He brings audiences into his life through his jokes about the struggles of parenting, marriage, and being generally annoyed by most people. In 2020, he released his debut comedy special, Overwhelmed. Nickerson also has a podcast, Don’t Make Me Come Back There, and a book, How to be Married to Melissa. 7:30 pm.

Squeeze in concert with Boy George
Prepare to take a trip to the new-wave/post-punk days of the ‘80s when UK band Squeeze comes to Houston this weekend. The band, fronted by the great songwriting team of Chris Difford and Glenn Tilbrook, has released 16 albums in their career, most recently The Knowledge in 2017. So, prepare to be tempted (sorry about that!) by their classic hits. They'll be joined by former Culture Club frontperson Boy George, another veteran of the Thatcher-era new-wave scene. 7:30 pm.

Friday, August 30

The Museum of Fine Arts, Houston presents Nostalghia
Andrei Tarkovsky explained that in Russian the word nostalghia conveys “the love for your homeland and the melancholy that arises from being far away.” Andrei, a Russian intellectual doing research in Italy, becomes obsessed with the Botticelli-like beauty of his translator, as well as with the apocalyptic ramblings of a self-destructive wanderer. Newly restored in 4K from the original camera negative, this cult favorite is a mystical and mysterious collision of East and West, shot with the tactile beauty that only Tarkovsky can provide. 7 pm.

Moore Vision Entertainment presents Matilda
Moore Vision Entertainment and Broadway Bound Youth Musical Theatre will present Roald Dahl’s Matilda the Musical. Matilda, a brilliant little girl with a big heart and even bigger dreams, goes on a journey of self-discovery. She takes on the formidable Miss Trunchbull, champions the power of books, and inspires everyone to stand up for what they believe in. Packed with laughter, heartwarming moments, and unforgettable songs, the adaptation brings Dahl's beloved classic to life like never before. 7:30 pm (2:30 & 7:30 pm Saturday and Sunday).

Russian Cultural Center "Our Texas" presents Marianna Karpinos: "The Beginning" opening reception
Born in Kiev, Ukraine, Marianna Karpinos, a full-time Houston neurologist, quickly discovered that art was an integral part of her life after completing her medical training and obtaining board certification. She relies on her extensive professional and personal experiences to express her inner thoughts on canvas: “In a world full of rigid structure, I view the canvas as an opportunity to be free and express my innermost feelings and desires in a safe and constructive way.” On display through Monday, October 21. 7:30 pm.

Tee-Zee Productions presents Papa Où T'es?
Papa Où T'es? is a coming-of-age story set in Houston that follows four high school friends: Ahmad, Aly, Zain, and Maaria, all second-generation Americans. They grapple with identity crises and the clash between cultural and religious expectations and their personal aspirations. How does the absence of a father impact it all? 8:30 pm (11:30 am & 8:30 pm Saturday; 11:30 am & 3:30 pm).

Saturday, August 31

Running Alliance Sport presents Beneeezy Purple Monkey Fun Run
Running Alliance Sport will present the 20th annual Beneeezy Purple Monkey Fun Run, featuring a 1k kids run, 5k, and 10k. This fun run has been going on thanks to The Ben Garcia Memorial Fund, which has raised over $330,000 over the past 19 years in memory of Ben. His life was a radiant source of joy that is now the spirit of the Beneezy Purple Monkey Fun Run. All proceeds fund college scholarships for graduating Alvin ISD seniors. 7:30 am.

Donkeeboy + Friends at Jūn
Jūn will welcome Donkeeboy and friends for an art show and pastry pop up. Guests will be able to enjoy art curated by Donkeeboy featuring local artists like Donkeemom, Little Poems By Kim, Trispeace, Jatziri Barron, Vanessa Sanez, 87 Collective, and Noke, as well as handmade treats crafted by Jūn. Pastries include a pumpkin spice cupcake with Salvadorian coffee frosting; a chorizo and egg danish with housemade chorizo and pico de gallo; a burger bao with charred onions and oaxaca cheese; and ube and taro concha with brioche and ube capricho. 11 am.

Mercury Chamber Orchestra presents "Vivaldi and Telemann"
Mercury Chamber Orchestra presents "Vivaldi and Telemann," which will include Baroque gems by Vivaldi, Telemann, and Handel in a concert featuring recorder virtuoso Vincent Lauzer. This performance will showcase the recorder in a unique audience experience, unveiling sonic beauty and musical fireworks. Additionally, the concert will include Baroque compositions by Telemann, Haydn, and Purcell, all performed on historical instruments, recreating the composers’ intended sounds. 8 pm.

Rockefellers presents Beth Stelling
Beth Stelling is a comedian, writer, and actress based in Los Angeles. She has two stand-up specials; her latest, If You Didn’t Want Me Then, premiered on Netflix last year. Before that, she was an on-set writer on the Universal movie Good Boys, and wrote for seasons 1 and 2 of Crashing for HBO, Seth Rogen’s Hilarity for Charity, and Sarah Silverman’s Hulu show I Love You, America. Beth’s half-hour special currently streams in The Standups series for Netflix. 8 & 10 pm.

Sunday, September 1

Alamo Drafthouse LaCenterra presents Alamo Time Capsule 1979: Apocalypse Now
At the height of the Vietnam War, Captain Benjamin Willard (Martin Sheen) is sent on a dangerous mission that officially "does not exist, nor will it ever exist." His goal is to locate – and eliminate – mysterious Green Beret Colonel Walter Kurtz (Marlon Brando), who has been leading his personal army on illegal guerrilla missions into enemy territory. Recently restored to Francis Ford Coppola's "perfect vision" (and different from the 2001 Redux edition), see Apocalypse Now the way it was meant to be seen, in all of its grandiose splendor. 1:15 pm.

Chicano Boulevard presents “Funkysoulistic Sunday” with Joey Quinones of Thee Sinseers
Chicano Boulevard presents this free family-friendly “Funkysoulistic Sunday” event that includes deejay tunes, live music from Joey Quinones of Thee Sinseers, and lowriders celebrating Chicano culture, inside and outside of Rabbits Got the Gun. And Hou Got Eatz will be providing the grub. So get your firme outfits pressed up & shine up those ranflas, because it’s going down once again on Hogan St. Early arrival strongly suggested. 5 pm.

Home Run Dugout presents Kikuo
Globally acclaimed Japanese Vocaloid artist Kikuo will be coming through Houston as a part of his highly anticipated world tour. Known for his boundary-breaking approach, Kikuo has been captivating audiences with his innovative use of Vocaloid technology and experimental music since he began sharing his original works online in 2003. Internationally, he’s one of the most listened-to names in this style, with his song “Aishite Aishite Aishite” being the first Vocaloid track to ever surpass 100 million streams on Spotify. 8 pm.

Photo by Danny Clifford

Squeeze perform with Boy George on Thursday.

event-planner

Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

---

Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

movies film