h-town All aglow

Houston's most spectacular winter light shows and events electrify for the holidays

These welcome, cooler temps beckon weather-weary Houstonians outdoors with a host of holiday light displays all over the city. These showcases are a fun — and family-friendly — way to get into the winter groove…and maybe even get some Clark Griswold inspo for home lighting projects.

Look for classics like Zoo Lights, which immerses visitors in a dazzling spectacle on zoo grounds, and relative newcomers like City Lights Holiday Magic 2023, a follow-up to the wildly popular downtown event highlighting 11 themed settings.

Photo via Space Center Houston

It's a cosmic Christmas at Space Center Houston's Galaxy Lights.

Consider this a handy checklist as Houston gets lights it up for the holiday season; we’ll update this list as more events open this season.

Lighting up now

Head downtown to "Houston's Living Room" as The Four Seasons presents its annual tree lighting on Friday, November 17. The grand affair in the Four Seasons' elegant lobby includes a hot chocolate station, TUTS Choir performance, eggnog and Champagne, and the lighting of the hotel’s stunning Christmas trees.

Four Seasons Houston holiday lighting Four Seasons Houston throws an elegant holiday lighting affair each year.Photo via Four Seasons Houston

Also downtown, City Lights Holiday Magic 2023 runs November 17 to December 31 with 11 different themed villages across dozens of city blocks, allowing guests to create their own experiences.

Check out the 30 illuminated Christmas trees in the George R. Brown Convention Center. Visit the Land of Sweets in the Hilton Americas Houston. Head over to Main Street for Santa's Village. See Market Square Park transformed into Mistletoe Square. And walk through 100,000 twinkling lights in the Theatre District. Download a pass to see and check off all the attractions. Christmas music on Fridays at Trebly Park's Twinkle Town makes for another holiday treat. Most activities are free.

Winter Wonderland Houston downtown 2022 This City Lights Holiday Magic Winter Wonderland feature is an IG fave. Photo courtesy of Central Houston

Even more downtown fun comes with the return of Texas Winter Lights at the Marriott Marquis Houston's Altitude Rooftop & Pool with more than 1,500+ glittering lights, dozens of Instagram-worthy displays, and experiences to surprise and delight all the senses. The hotel's iconic Texas-shaped lazy river comes alive with floating orbs, colorful archways overhead, and a nearby grove of trees adorned in bright white lights. Free to hotel guests; tickets start at $25 for non-hotel guests.

A cherished Houston favorite, Zoo Lights, is now running at the Houston Zoo through January 7, 2024. Explore the zoo after dark, with lighted trails taking visitors through an Enchanted Forest, stopping for selfies at a color-changing tree and taking part in other festive activities. Pro-tip: Wander quietly and peek at some of the slumbering beasts, like a majestic, snoozing tiger. There are timed entry slots every evening, with prices starting at $27.95.

Or, wander through more nature at Radiant Nature at the Houston Botanic Garden, a winding trail of more than 50 Chinese lantern displays. On view from November 17 to February 25, 2024, they showcase the beauty of nature and celebrate the tradition of the Lunar New Year. The cost is $28.50 per person with timed entry every evening.

Peek into 'Zodiac' at Radiant Nature at Houston Botanic Garden.Photo via Houston Botanic Garden

Sugar Land's Constellation Field is transformed into a winter wonderland in the 10th Annual Sugar Land Holiday Lights presented by Houston Methodist through January 1, with over 3.5 million lights. There are movie nights, photo opportunities with Santa, giveaways, theme nights and more. Tickets start at $12.

Further south, Galaxy Lights, Space Center Houston's annual spectacular is an immersive experience with space-themed light installations. The new Deep Space Backyard is a journey through the solar system. A crystal fireworks display showcases the colors of the galaxies, one of only two such displays in the world. Tickets start at $19.95. Through January 1, 2024.

Galaxy Lights Space Center Houston Blast off with Galaxy Lights at Space Center Houston. Photo courtesy of Space Center Houston

After Galaxy Lights, head to Galveston for Moody Gardens' Holiday in the Gardens, a multi-activity extravaganza with something for everyone.

Take an enchanting train ride at Moody Gardens Holiday in the Gardens.Photo via Moody Gardens

There's the Ice Land and Festival of Lights, with a stroll along a mile-long trail of twinkling lights that transform the space into a fairy land. A train ride though the lights is a must-try island holiday experience.

The 3rd Annual Energy Corridor Tree Lighting, held at the Hyatt Regency West Houston on November 30 from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m., this is a chance to hear holiday holiday music, wonder at the dazzling 50-foot Christmas tree and shop for unique gifts at the Candy Cane Lane Holiday Market. The event is free to attend.

Magical Winer Lights at Katy Mills is a winter wonderland for all ages, with thousands of lanterns creating worlds of all shapes and sizes. The display is on view from November 17 through January 7, and tickets are $25, with discounted admissions for seniors. There's also a separate carnival ticket, available for $25.

Holiday Lights at Constellation Field in Sugar Land features more than 3,000,000 lights, 10 themed areas, holiday shopping, and much more. One of Sugar Land's iconic holiday happenings, this showcase is completely family friendly, offering plenty to do for all ages. $15 adults, $12 children ages four to 12. Through January 1, 2023. 6 pm.

Looking ahead

Deck the Park at Memorial Park
Deck the Park brings thousands of lights along the park's half-mile promenade at the the Eastern Glades. For the first time, the event will be free to the public. Opening on Friday, December 1, the event is a family-friendly affair, featuring crafts, treats, and more. Event runs through January, 2024. Sundown.

Reliant Lights Mayor's Holiday Spectacular

Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner will preside over his final Reliant Lights Mayor’s Holiday Spectacular at City Hall. The 104-year-old, family-friendly tradition is free and features live music and the lighting of the holiday tree. This year’s holiday tree is 52-foot White Fir shipping in all the way from Grant’s Pass, Oregon. The towering tree will be adorned with 99,680 LED lights and some 4,000 ornaments. Saturday, December 2. 6 pm. Free.

$Reliant Lights Mayor\u2019s Holiday Spectacular$ Houston Mayor Sylvester Turner will preside over his final\u00a0Reliant Lights Mayor\u2019s Holiday Spectacular. Photo courtesy of City of Houston

Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess