weekend event planner

Here are the top 15 things to do in Houston this weekend

Spend your sports Saturday with the Astros, UFC, and Alex Bregman's totally bomb food products.

This long weekend, we celebrate the birth of our nation with Fourth of July celebrations all over the city (see them here). Meanwhile, several movie nights await, including fun on the rooftop and a farmers market screening. The beloved film Frozen gets the stage treatment, while a funk and soul concert gets down. Plus, more patriotic pomp comes courtesy of two rousing area symphonies.

Enjoy, stay cool and safe, and here's to our great nation. These are your best bets for Fourth of July weekend.

Thursday, June 30

Your Neighborhood Farmers Market Association presents Energy Corridor Farmers Market
There's nothing wrong with starting off the weekend with some good ol' perusing at a nearby farmers' market. If that's your bag, let us suggest this market of oh-so-organic goodies. The Energy Corridor Farmers Market will feature the Fredericksburg Peach Truck, farm-fresh produce, grass-fed meats, farm-fresh eggs, kid activities, local honey, artisan items, flavored butters, Cajun and Indian cuisine, micro-green, and more. 3:30 pm.

The Five Heartbeats: A Black Music Month Celebration
Houston Cinema Arts Society is partnering with Rooftop Cinema Club to present Robert Townsend's 1991 musical salute to the Temptations, the Four Tops, and all the soulful singing groups of yesteryear (co-written by In Living Color creator Keenen Ivory Wayans), as part of the Society's Black Music Month Celebration. The program will be preceded by a live, Motown-Inspired DJ set by DJ Flash Gordon Parks at 6:30pm. 7:30 pm.

Memorial Hermann Broadway at the Hobby Center: Frozen
Frozen features the songs you know and love from the original, Oscar-winning film, plus an expanded score with a dozen new numbers by the film’s songwriters, Oscar winner Kristen Anderson-Lopez and EGOT winner Robert Lopez. An unforgettable theatrical experience filled with sensational special effects, stunning sets and costumes, and powerhouse performances, this is everything you want in a musical. Through Sunday, July 17. 7:30 pm (8 pm Friday; 2 and 8 pm Saturday; 2 and 7:30 pm Sunday).

Friday, July 1

14 Pews presents Everything Everywhere All at Once
If you haven't seen this movie yet, honestly, what is your problem? The critics (including our own) love the hell out of it. Directed by Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, collectively known as Daniels, this hilarious and big-hearted sci-fi action adventure, about an exhausted Chinese American woman (Hong Kong legend Michelle Yeoh) who can't seem to finish her taxes, is quite honestly the best movie so far this year. 7 pm.

Improv Houston presents Sam Morril
Sam Morril, one of the fastest-rising comics in New York City, is a nationally touring comedian widely known as one of the best joke writers on the scene today. With three Conan appearances under his belt, Morril has also done a half-hour special on Comedy Central and released his debut album, Class Act, on Comedy Central Records. 7:30 pm and 9:45 pm (7 pm and 9:30 pm Saturday; 7:30 pm Sunday).

The Music Box Theater presents Feelin' Groovy
The Music Box Theater presents this groove-alicious revue, featuring musical hits from the '60s and '70s, a time when music and culture were truly groovy. The songs will be interspersed with comedy sketches that should transport audiences back to a familiar time and have them grooving and rolling in the aisles. This show will feature classics originally sung by Simon & Garfunkel, Three Dog Night, Linda Ronstadt, Hall & Oates, Roberta Flack, and many more. Through Saturday, August 20. 7:30 pm.

Thunderclap Productions presents Edith Can Shoot Things and Hit Them
When 12-year-old Edith makes an unfortunate spur-of-the-moment decision with her air rifle, she, her older brother Kenny, and his boyfriend Benji find themselves suddenly at odds with the adult world around them. A. Rey Pamatmat’s achingly beautiful play explores first love, the pangs of youth, and the universal search to find your family of choice. Through Sunday. July 10. 7:30 pm (2:30 pm Sunday).

Saturday, July 2

Official Breggy Bomb launch party
Fans of Houston Astros all star Alex Bregman are invited to a launch party of his Breggy Bomb line of food products, including his new barbecue offerings. Little Woodrows EaDo will televise the Astros game at 3:10 pm, followed by UFC fights later in the evening. Breggy Bomb pitmasters will pass out bites such as barbecue pork belly burnt ends and pulled pork boats. Look for merch, raffles, gift baskets, a drawing for a signed Bregman jersey — and perhaps, some special guests (wink-wink). Noon.

Community Artists' Collective presents Tokie Rome-Taylor: "What Remains" opening reception
Atlanta-based artist and educator Tokie Rome-Taylor examines themes of time, spirituality, visibility, and identity through photography and cyanotype in this exhibition. Rome-Taylor is a Funds for Teachers Fellowship recipient and studied photography in Santa Fe and San Francisco. The exhibition is part of PrintMatters Houston, a biennial, city-wide celebration of original prints, the artists who create them and the people who collect them. Through Saturday, August 27. 2 pm.

Conroe Symphony Orchestra presents Stars and Stripes Celebration
Conroe Symphony Orchestra's free 4th of July celebration, led by guest conductor Clarence Frank, will feature historic characters like Ben Franklin and George Washington and a special tribute to the Armed Forces. There will be food trucks, vendors, kids activities, inflatables, and fireworks to end the night. Bring a chair or blanket and get ready to share in a truly memorable community event celebrating freedom, music, and a shared love of musical arts. 4 pm.

William Price Distilling presents Tropical Block Party
Join William Price Distilling for a tropical block party as they cruise into party season and celebrate this solid new twist on a spirit. Ride low and slow into the summer with William Price’s newest expression, Rum Ryder. A blend of Jamaican rum and rye whiskey, your summer libation game just bossed up. There will also be live music, Rum Ryder cocktail specials, a food truck, water activities, free snow cones and kids' drinks, and fun for all ages. 4 pm.

Redbud Gallery presents Justin Sterling: "Windows of Opportunity" opening reception
New York City-based visual artist/Houston native Justin Sterling considers the built environment his medium and deeply explores this methodology, collecting abandoned windows and other urban objects from various neighborhoods in Brooklyn, Lower Manhattan, and Queens to repurpose them and reimagine their stories. His aim is to unravel the way we view structures of power by revealing various truths about urban ecosystems, poverty, collective memory, and bad-faith legislation. Through Saturday, August 20. 6 pm.

Sunday, July 3

FKOA Presents Funk N Soul
Now that Silk Sonic has made it cool to love the funk and soul sounds of yesteryear, all you young whipper-snappers can check out this concert, starring all the bands who made that music popular back in the day. We're talking about The Commodores, Cameo, Zapp, S.O.S. Band, Midnight Star, and Club Nouveau. The only thing that could make this better is if former BET veejay Donnie Simpson could emcee the whole thing. 6 pm.

Houston Farmers Market presents The Sandlot
The Houston Farmers Market will present a family movie night featuring a screening of the 1993 kiddie baseball flick, projected on a big screen in front of the green space by Wild Oats. Additionally, market restaurants and vendors will be offering grab-and-go foods, including Wagyu beef hot dogs, beef jerky, and snacks from R-C Ranch Butcher Shop, and “Redneck Meat and Cheese,” s’mores cups, pimento cheese sandwiches, Frito pies, and beer, wine, and specialty cocktails to-go from Wild Oats. 6 pm.

Houston Symphony presents Star-Spangled Salute
Consider this a chance to bring all of your family and friends together under one powerful banner. This free event aims to give you a chance for time together – time to remember, time to rejoice, and time to stand in awe of a few brilliantly patriotic moments. Pre-concert activities begin at 6:30 pm, featuring free patriotic souvenirs, photo opportunities with characters, a special art project, and more. There will be a fireworks display to cap off the night. 8:30 pm.

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Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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