Rodeo Lineup Revealed

The superstar acts among the Houston Rodeo's 2014 concert lineup are . . .

The Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo changed things up this year, waiting until 11:59 p.m. on a Sunday to reveal its full 2014 concert lineup rather than breaking it up into several releases.

Still, the midnight hour certainly hasn't turned the Rodeo into a pumpkin. Not with a lineup that includes Luke Bryan (March 17), Brad Paisley (opening night March 4), Blake Shelton (March 20), Usher (March 7), Reba (March 6), 2013 one-song sensation Robin Thicke (March 18), tween favorite Selena Gomez (March 9) and REO Speedwagon (March 11). Anticipation for these Rodeo lineups has grown so heated that the Rodeo site was temporarily overwhelmed by fans checking out the announcement, causing extremely slow load times.

Thicke and Usher are something of crossover coups for the Rodeo, while many of the major country acts are Houston Rodeo regulars. Keith Urban is coming back for the fifth time. For Luke Bryan, it's his third straight Rodeo. And Reba McEntire — whose show figures to be one of the most-sought-after tickets — is returning for the 19th time.

Just looking for eye candy? Adam Levine — People Magazine's reigning Sexiest Man Alive — and the rest of Maroon 5 will be hitting the Rodeo as well.

The full 2014 Rodeo concert lineup:

Tuesday, March 4....................................................................... Brad Paisley

Wednesday, March 5 – Armed Forces Appreciation Day....................................................... Eli Young Band

Thursday, March 6....................................................................................................................................... Reba

Friday, March 7 – Black Heritage Day, sponsored by Kroger ................................................................... Usher

Saturday, March 8........................................................................................................................... Chris Young

Sunday, March 9.......................................................................................................................... Selena Gomez

Monday, March 10................................................................................................................. REO Speedwagon

Tuesday, March 11........................................................................................................................ Jason Aldean

Wednesday, March 12...................................................................................................................... Jake Owen

Thursday, March 13.............................................................................................................................. Maroon 5

Friday, March 14.............................................................................................................................. Keith Urban

Saturday, March 15...................................................................................................................... Hunter Hayes

Sunday, March 16 – Go Tejano Day.................................................................................... Pesado, Banda MS

Monday, March 17..................................................................................... Luke Bryan, presented by Miller Lite

Tuesday, March 18......................................................................................................................... Robin Thicke

Wednesday, March 19*..................................................................................................... Florida Georgia Line

Thursday, March 20...................................................................................................................... Blake Shelton

Friday, March 21........................................................................................................................... Easton Corbin

Saturday, March 22 – RodeoHouston BP Super Series Championship................................. The Band Perry

Sunday, March 23 – RodeoHouston Super Shootout........................................................... Zac Brown Band

This year's lineup has a lot to live up to considering George Strait said his Rodeo goodbye in one of the most anticipated Houston concerts ever in 2013. And Mary J. Blige and Pitbull shook things up as well.

RodeoHouston is not afraid to embrace the future though. Houston's entertainment granddaddy became the 10th most checked in Facebook location in the United States in 2013, putting it up there with places like Walt Disney World and Fenway Park despite the fact that it's only a three-week-long event. With more than 300,000 Facebook fans and a record-shattering 2.5 million visitors, the Houston Rodeo is arguably more popular than ever in its 83rd year.

The 2014 Houston Rodeo runs from March 4 to March 23. Season tickets for all the Rodeo concerts are available here. Individual tickets go on sale Saturday at 10 a.m.

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Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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