Wait, doesn't Tiger Woods call Florida home?

His zip code hasn't stopped him from trying to persuade the NBA's prized free agent LeBron James to join the Los Angeles Lakers. He told reporters in Philadelphia: "Yeah, actually I would love to see him go to the Lakers. I'm an L.A. guy, can't help it. That would be interesting, wouldn't it?"

Well that's just perfect. Just what a young, rising star needs — unsolicited advice from an older, established, philandering athletic superstar. It worked so well for Tiger — remember when he was all joined at the hip with Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley? Their influence probably did as much for his marriage as it did for his career.

So take a step back here, LeBron, and think about who you're talking to. It's a little strange that Tiger doesn't want you for his hometown Orlando Magic. I say go with God and head to Houston.