Texas Superstar

Post Malone returns to Houston for upcoming tour — and really needs fans to show up

Post Malone will play at Dos Equis Pavilion on August 5.

Photo by Adam DeGross

Rapper/singer Post Malone will continue his road warrior ways with the upcoming "If Y'all Weren’t Here, I’d Be Crying" Tour, which will make a Houston-area stop at The Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion on August 8.

The tour is in support of his forthcoming album, Austin, the fifth of his career. It will be released July 28, shortly before the Dallas concert.

The 24-city tour, starting in Noblesville, Indiana on July 8, gives Post Malone just a short break, as he's finishing up the European leg of his 22-23 "Twelve Carat Tour" on May 20. In fact, Houston fans just saw the Grapevine, Texas-raised superstar perform, as he played Houston in October 2022.

This time around, he'll only be stopping in two Texas cities; he'll play Dallas on August 5 before Houston on August 8. Austin fans will have to make do with having a whole album named for their city.

Austin is likely to be as popular as Post Malone's previous four albums, each of which reached the top 5 on the Billboard 200, with two - 2017's Beerbongs and Bentleys and 2019's Hollywood's Bleeding - going to No. 1. The first single from the new album, “Mourning,” will be released on Friday, May 19.

“I love y’all so very much and I’m so excited to get out and do some more shows for y’all," said Post Malone in a statement. "Help me put a baby through college and come on out. Some cool new production, new songs, and a very very handsome man up on stage. Sending love to you and yours.”

Citi cardmembers will have access to presale tickets beginning on Wednesday, May 17 at 10 am until Thursday, May 18 at 11:59 pm through the Citi Entertainment program.

Additional presales will run throughout the week ahead of the general on-sale beginning on Friday, May 19 at 10 am at livenation.com.

The tour will also offer a variety of different VIP packages and experiences for fans to take their concert experience to the next level. Packages vary but include premium tickets, access to the World Pong League VIP Lounge, exclusive VIP gift items, and more.

IF Y'ALL WEREN’T HERE, I’D BE CRYING 2023 TOUR DATES

Sat Jul 08 – Noblesville, IN – Ruoff Music Center
Sun Jul 09 – Cincinnati, OH – Riverbend Music Center
Tue Jul 11 – Detroit, MI – Pine Knob Music Theatre
Wed Jul 12 – Burgettstown, PA – The Pavilion at Star Lake
Fri Jul 14 – St. Louis, MO – Hollywood Casino Amphitheatre
Sat Jul 15 – East Troy, WI – Alpine Valley Music Theatre
Mon Jul 17 – Buffalo, NY – Darien Lake Amphitheater
Wed Jul 19 – Toronto, ON – Budweiser Stage
Sat Jul 22 – Mansfield, MA – Xfinity Center
Sun Jul 23 – Hartford, CT– XFINITY Theatre
Tue Jul 25 – Camden, NJ – Freedom Mortgage Pavilion
Wed Jul 26 – Bristow, VA – Jiffy Lube Live
Sat Jul 29 – Charlotte, NC – PNC Music Pavilion
Mon Jul 31 – West Palm Beach, FL – iTHINK Financial Amphitheatre
Tue Aug 01 – Tampa, FL – MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre
Thu Aug 03 – Atlanta, GA – Lakewood Amphitheatre
Sat Aug 05 – Dallas, TX – Dos Equis Pavilion
Tue Aug 08 – Houston, TX – The Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion
Thu Aug 10 – Albuquerque, NM – Isleta Amphitheater
Sat Aug 12 – Phoenix, AZ – Talking Stick Resort Amphitheatre
Sun Aug 13 – San Diego, CA – North Island Credit Union Amphitheatre
Tue Aug 15 – Wheatland, CA – Toyota Amphitheatre
Wed Aug 16 – Mountain View, CA – Shoreline Amphitheatre
Sat Aug 19 – San Bernardino, CA – Glen Helen Amphitheater

concerts music celebrities

Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

---

Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

movies film