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    Diary of an aspiring filmmaker

    When the credits roll: A first-time director deals with the aftermath of hismovie's premiere

    Ford Gunter
    Dec 15, 2011 | 11:48 am
    • The crowd right before the premiere of Art Car: The Movie
      Photo by Ford Gunter
    • Ford Gunter, from left, Harrod Blank and Carlton Ahrens
    • And what better way to be visible in America than on the ultimate public canvas:The Car.
      Photo via Art Car/Facebook

    Editor's note: Ford Gunter quit his full-time journalism job in Houston to make a movie with his childhood buddy/co-director/business partner Carlton Ahrens. In the latest installment of his CultureMap account of chasing the dream with Art Car: The Movie, he deals with the aftermath of the movie's premiere.

    The art car artists have a term to describe the ennui they all experience every year after the parade: "Post-artum blues."

    We felt it too. After weeks of 14-hour editing sessions and, before that, months of 10- to 12-hour days, we suddenly had nothing to do. Months of brutal hours, followed by a few days of awkward attention (at the Cinema Arts Festival), and then . . . nothing. For me, the silence wasn't deafening, it was unnerving.

    The day after our premiere, on Monday, Nov. 14, as we filled out the first of what is now nine (and counting) film festival applications, it dawned on us how much our movie had changed.

    The first thing we do when we fill out one of these things — film festival application, grant application, media synopsis, etc. — is go to our website or Facebook and copy and paste the synopsis from there. We did, and realized it didn't fit at all. Since we wrote that synopsis half a year ago or so, we'd gone from two lead characters to one, gone from five supporting charters to three completely different supporting characters, added substantially from the last interview we shot in Baltimore on a last-minute if-we-don't-do-this-now-we'll-never-do-it trip, and cut almost completely footage we made special trips to shoot in places as far as, oh, you know, France.

    The nuts of it is, we set out to make a movie about why people decorated their cars and we ended up making a movie about why you should care.

    We also expanded from the "Hands on a Hard Body" goal-oriented-in-an-oh-so-quirky-event/competition story to (we hope) a much more broad and socially applicable story that at points addresses public education, generational apathy (young and old), public art, consumerism, the car as a reflection of self, the car's value in American society, and — to be sappy for a moment — chasing your dream so relentlessly that the drive could only result from the pursuer knowing deep down inside that there is very little chance of any public or financial return on investment but also acknowledging, still deep down in side, that it doesn't matter because he or she is not doing it for that reason.

    He or she is doing it because, whether they fully understand it or not, they have to challenge you. On a daily basis.

    And what better way to be visible in America than on the ultimate public canvas: The Car.

    What we think we have is an existential mediation on the society we've become. That's the heart of the thing. The characters are just the, ahem, vehicles that get us there, to help us, the viewer (because we were viewers too), get to the meaning of the Damn Thing, as it applies to them. To us.

    But it couldn't have been just anyone. Art cars and the people who make them were almost too perfect. And what better way to investigate the values of American society than through the lens of a handful of people who dare to (fill in your adjective here: decorate, modify, beautify, funkify, defile, disgrace, ruin) the Great American Icon.

    Heady, right? Don't worry — we're not taking ourselves to seriously. The nuts of it is, we set out to make a movie about why people decorated their cars and we ended up making a movie about why you should care. We made the movie we wanted to make.

    I wrote this weeks after the premiere. I still don't have a firm grasp on the entire experience, but I'm a lot closer. It took a week of sleep and another week of solitude to start to piece things together. The next week I started my reemergence into society, but I'm still too tired to try very hard.

    Now begins a weird sit-and-wait period where the only real tasks are submitting to film festivals we won't hear anything back from until February at the earliest and starting to put together DVD extras. Oh, and cut a trailer. There's that too.

    Anyone who thought filmmakers were lazy will probably find positive reinforcement in the scenario I've painted of the last few weeks, and that's fair. For the rest of you, the close readers, I hope it's an adequate explanation of how I could have arrived at this period of quiet, isolated, self-indulgent sloth.

    See you on the other side.

    unspecified
    news/entertainment

    Movie Review

    Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

    Alex Bentley
    Dec 26, 2025 | 2:30 pm
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda
    Photo by Matt Grace
    Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

    In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

    The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

    Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

    Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

    The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

    It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

    Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

    Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

    ---

    Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

    moviesfilm
    news/entertainment

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