Brad-talie

First Gravity, then Pitt? Natalie Portman moves in on Angelina Jolie's turf

Natalie Portman may but younger and command a smaller salary than Jolie, but theactress has talent
Angelina Jolie's quite the vixen.
Brad Pitt is no stranger to on-set affairs.
Courtesy photo

When Angelina Jolie dropped out of Alfonso Cuarón’s 3-D space movie Gravity, she likely had no idea what she'd wrought. Cuarón — who directed the racy Y Tu Mamá También and the Oscar-nominated Children of Men — quickly turned aroundand offered the part to Natalie Portman.

Jolie turned down the film citing a busy schedule due in part to her plans for an untitled Bosnian war romance film, which she is both writing and directing. Technically, this is not the actress’s first time in the director’s chair. She made her directorial debut with the 2007 documentary A Place In Time, though I’m hesitant to count this as I estimate that about 11.3 people saw the movie, half of which were Jolie's kids.

Could Portman replace Jolie in more ways than one?

She certainly has enough in common with her. In May 2011 Portman will star in Thor, based on the Marvel comic of the same name. The role sounds like many of Jolie’s: a sultry female lead in an action-fantasy-adventure. Both actresses are also ardent do-gooders: Portman traveled to Uganda, Guatemala, and Ecuador as the Ambassador of Hope for FINCA International and earned a nomination for Vh1’s 2010 Do Something Awards. Jolie, a United Nations refugees ambassador, recently provided hands-on help in Pakistani refugee camps and donated $1 million to relief efforts for the flood-ravaged nation.

The similarities continue. Jolie chose to birth her children in foreign countries and Portman has expressed desires to rear her offspring elsewhere, naming Israel a possibility. The two celebrities are even born under the same star: both are Geminis, ruled by planet Mercury, known for their intellectual prowess and lively spontaneity.

Plus Portman might even work alongside Jolie’s baby-daddy! Terrence Malick wants Portman for a role in a Jerry Lee Lewis biopic he is developing with Brad Pitt. Although Portman is currently dating French ballet dancer Benjamin Millepied, who choreographed her in Black Swan, who’s to say she won’t drop the Frenchie in favor of Pitt.

Remember — Brad is no stranger to on-set love stories, as evidenced from his budding romance with Jolie during the filming of 2005 Mr. and Mrs. Smith, an affair which ended his marriage to Jennifer Aniston.

Now not to get all Kennedy-Lincoln assassination on you (John Wilkes Booth shot from a theater and ran to a warehouse, Oswald shot from a warehouse and ran to a theater, etc...) but it is a convenient coincidence that Portman is exactly six years younger than Jolie, who's also six years younger than Aniston. Or consider this: Jolie, a doting mother to an ever-expanding brood, has transformed into a sort of American sweetheart the public can’t help but adore (consider Jennifer Aniston in Friends), while Portman’s love life remains shrouded in mystery as she seeks romances with French dancers and avant garde artists like Devendra Banhart.

I concede that this is all a bit far-fetched. After all, many attractive actresses fit the bill.

But why not Brad and Natalie? I, for one, am sick Brangelina’s alleged arguments dominating the tabloid covers. BORING. Besides, Angie’s string-bean limbs and pouty lips are so ‘'90s, and I really don’t understand her never-ending affinity for black. (Hey Angie: It’s DEPRESSING.)

What would we call Brad and Natalie? Natabrad? Brad-talie? Or what about Brattalie — the pair could sponsor a Bratz doll, cute! Imagine the feuding factions: Team Angie vs. Team Natalie.

Maybe Jolie would try to unite forces with Aniston… or even date Aniston as revenge (Jolie is bisexual, remember). Aniston seems desperate enough to fall for such a scheme.

At this point she’d be lucky if anyone on the A-list dated her for more than a month. (Not to be too harsh on the girl but I haven’t respected Aniston since she criticized John Mayer’s frequent twitter use. Twitter is a form of art, Jen, and until you realize and embrace the medium I’m going to hate you.)

Regardless of the outcome, Portman does pose a potential threat to Jolie, even if not to her relationship with Brad Pitt. If Gravity does well with Portman in the lead, there will be more than one bankable brunette in Hollywood.

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Movie Review

Daniel Craig shines in Queer, an unapologetic tale of love and loss

Photo courtesy of A24

Drew Starkey and Daniel Craig in Queer.

As recently as the late 2010s, if a movie was made about an LGBTQ+ character, it was more than likely about their coming out experience. Romance, if it existed, was typically chaste, and actual sex was almost completely out of the question. Things have changed dramatically in the 2020s, to the point that a major movie star has no issue starring in a film called Queer.

Based on the 1985 novella by William S. Burroughs, the film features William Lee (Daniel Craig), whom everyone calls just Lee, a writer living in 1950s-era Mexico City who spends most of his time haunting local bars with friends like fellow writer Joe Guidry (Jason Schwartzman) and hitting on younger men. His early interactions in the film seem to indicate that Lee has a bad reputation within the local gay community, as multiple people avoid him or give him odd looks.

Lee senses an opportunity when he encounters a newcomer, Eugene Allerton (Drew Starkey). Despite some awkward interactions, the two of them start spending time together, although Lee has much more invested in the relationship than Eugene does. Their hit-and-miss bond continues until Lee, who’s starting to get into drugs in addition to the booze, convinces Eugene to accompany him on a trip to South America.

Directed by Luca Guadagnino and written by Justin Kuritzkes (making their second straight film together after Challengers), early on the film seems to be mostly about the divide between an older person who’s grown comfortable in his ways and a younger person who’s living a relatively carefree life. The introduction of drugs into the plot changes things, though, with Lee searching out more ways to open his eyes to what the world has to offer.

Guadagnino and his team use some interesting visual storytelling techniques to introduce ideas that may not be present in the actual script. The most successful, demonstrated in multiple scenes, is the superimposition of movements by Lee over what’s actually taking place in the scene. The subtle overlay gives the audience insight into Lee’s true feelings, showing what he can’t or won’t say out loud.

Music also plays a big part in how the plot is perceived, with the use of anachronistic songs from Nirvana and Prince serving to heighten certain moments. The score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross is not as in-your-face as the one they did for Challengers, but it complements the film well, especially when the plot starts to get trippy in its final half hour.

Craig, who appears sweaty and disheveled for much of the film, is about as far from the suaveness of James Bond as you can get in this role. He takes multiple risks with his performance and almost all of them pay off. Starkey’s character is subdued by comparison, but still comes off well. Schwartzman and Lesley Manville are given showy roles, with both using altered appearances that make them nearly unrecognizable to deliver memorable performances.

Queer is not as accessible as Challengers was storytelling-wise, but the fact that it tells a story about gay men living their lives as they see fit with no interference or questions shows how far the film world has come in a short period of time. It also continues Guadagnino’s streak of making audacious films in a way that few other filmmakers are willing or able to approach.

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Queer is now playing in theaters.

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