weekend event planner

Here are the top 15 things to do in Houston this weekend

Cheer Live 2022 tumbles into Smart Financial Centre.

Photo courtesy of LiveNation

This weekend will most likely see fever-degree temps that surpass past 100. While many will opt to stay indoors, a hot summer music fest and neon water park party await those who venture out. Other fun includes a fancy wine party, a celebration of all things space travel plus concerts, a chance to cheer on a live-action Netflix series performance, and a Sunday seafood party.

Enjoy; here are your best bets for the weekend.

Thursday, June 9

Guard and Grace presents Pink and White Party
The annual Pink and White Party is where lavish meets outrageous. Think flamingos, pink and white derby-style attire, and more than 40 pink and white wines to tickle guests' fancy, accompanied by food stations and passed hors d'oeuvres prepared by Guard and Grace's chefs. A portion of the proceeds provides a scholarship in wine for a local, budding hospitality professional at the Texas School of Wine. 3 pm.

Sonia Flores presents "Ascendants From the Future"
"Ascendants from the Future" is a celestial macramé installation host to experimental music and performance. Created by Sonia Flores and team, the nebula-like structure is inspired in part by the music of Sun Ra, the exploration of Spirit, the beauty and vastness of outer space and Flores' own personal defining of the artistic movement known as "Indigenous Futurism." Each Thursday for the month of June will showcase a musical act/performance. 7 pm.

Improv Houston presents Tony Roberts
Coming to Houston for a two-night stint, Detroit comic Tony Roberts has been blessed with the coveted honor of being the “comedian's comedian.” His hilarious and refreshing, energetic comedy style has granted him respect and created a huge demand for him on the comedy circuit. Legendary comedian and sitcom director David Steinberg acclaimed Roberts as “a breakout talent” after witnessing his stand-up, eventually casting him as the lead in a series of Burger King commercials he directed. 7:30 pm.

Friday, June 10

Space Center Houston presents Moon2Mars Festival
This three-day festival will provide an up-close look at some of the space technology people will need to go to the Moon and Mars, like rovers, spacesuits, landers, and more. Guests can experience indoor and outdoor programming, panel discussions led by space experts, immersive learning opportunities, and food and beverage offerings from Wolfgang Puck Catering. There will also be live music on the big stage throughout the days and evenings from Katie Toupin, American Authors, and Shaed. 9 am.

Reeves Art + Design presents "Reeves Art x Design" opening reception
In this group show, a roster of contemporary Texas artists will explore furniture and craftsmanship as an extension of the art-making process. Each artist presents a uniquely designed furniture piece that is either custom painted or designed from scratch. Through this collaborative effort, Reeves Art + Design looks to blur the line between fine art and function, highlighting the variety of ways that art can be incorporated into furniture design. On display through Saturday, July 9. 4 pm.

The Bitter Tears of Petra von Kant at MFAH
Rainer Werner Fassbinder’s unforgettable 1972 melodrama (shown in glorious 35mm!) is an unforgiving dissection of the imbalanced relationship between a haughty fashion designer (Margit Carstensen) and a beautiful but icy ingenue (Hanna Schygulla). Based on the filmmaker’s own desperate obsession with a young actor, this film features exquisitely claustrophobic cinematography and full-throttle performances by an all-female cast. 7 pm.

Cheer Live 2022
The Cheer Live tour will break new ground with a live performance featuring athletes from the Emmy-winning, Netflix docuseries. The athletes will present an electrifying exhibition of never-before-seen stunts and stage performances. Without the restraints of score cards, judges, and time limits, Cheer Live will transform the nail-biting sport of competitive cheerleading into an athletic event staged with the production value of a live concert. 7:30 pm.

Houston Symphony presents Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 in Concert
The Harry Potter Film Concert Series returns with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 in Concert, the second-to-last film in the Harry Potter series. John Beal will conduct the Houston Symphony in performing Alexandre Desplat’s score live from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows – Part 1 while the entire film plays in high-definition on a 40-foot screen. Show continues Saturday. 7:30 pm.

Saturday, June 11

Heads and Tails presents Houston Crawfish Festival
The Houston Crawfish Festival will close out the 2022 crawfish season with a family-friendly event. Attendees will get a chance to taste Heads & Tails's infamous Boss Sauce. This event will include multiple vendors, live music, and crawfish perfected and curated by chef Roy Burks. Heads & Tails, Toque Event Space, SOPO (Sushi on Post Oak), Ducky McSchwenny’s and Bovine & Barley have partnered together to donate a percentage of total ticket sales to Children at Risk. Noon.

Bobcat Teddy’s Battle of the Seltzers
Bobcat Teddy’s Ice House is kicking off the summer season by hosting a Battle of the Seltzers competition. Seltzer brewers will set up and sample out some of their best seltzers for you. For $20, you'll receive a wristband that will set you up to sample all the seltzers and receive fun swag from the participants. Stay cool and enjoy the best seltzers in town along with live music, water slides and luau fun. 2 pm.

Summer Jam HTX
Dubbed “the biggest party in Texas,” the second-annual festival will feature headlining sets from Moneybagg Yo, Latto and Bun B, with two stages and more than 25 performances in a one-day extravaganza. Lil’ Flip, Saucy Santana, Tay Money, R&B artist Tink and Beat King are among the festival’s other top talent. The fest will also highlight Houston artists on the rise, including Bobby Billions, Doeman, Lebra Jolie, and OTB Fastlane. 2 pm.

Neon Night at Typhoon Texas
Families can take a night dive into a world of bright neon colors as Typhoon Texas presents the return of its popular, family-friendly night. As soon as the sun goes down, the west Houston waterpark will be bathed in a collection of brilliant neon colors, from the glowing lights lining its twisting slides to radiant, glowing performers and vivid, neon-lit dance parties and activities for all ages. 6:30 pm.

Sunday, June 12

Summer Seafood Soirée at Hotel ZaZa Memorial City
Open to the public, this soiree will have guests and locals enjoying delicacies such as lobster tails, fish tacos, poke stacks and more, paired with prosecco and beer at the beloved Hotel ZaZa exclusive resort-styled pool deck. Tickets are available with the choice to upgrade to the lavish life, with a cabana package inclusive of 6 f&b tickets, 2 bottles of Veuve Clicquot Yellow label and access to the cabana as well. 2 pm.

Axiom Quartet presents Season Finale: Ravel, Mellits, Mendelssohn
Over at the at the beautiful and reverberant Christ the King Lutheran Church, Axiom Quartet’s season finale presents a couple of string-quartet super hits and a rockstar of modern repertoire: Maurice Ravel's String Quartet in F Major, Mark Mellits' Tapas, and Felix Mendelssohn's String Quartet op. 44 No 2. A wine reception will follow the performance. Tickets are free, but donations are encouraged. 5 pm.

Brit Floyd in concert
Brit Floyd (aka “The World’s Greatest Pink Floyd Show”) returns to the stage to perform its brand new production. The show will include highlights from The Wall, The Dark Side of the Moon, Wish You Were Here, Animals, and The Division Bell, as well as a show-stopping, 23-minute "note-for-note" performance of the iconic era-defining song "Echoes," from Pink Floyd’s breakthrough 1971 album, Meddle. 8 pm.

event-planner

Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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