Houston Mayor Annise Parker will begin interviewing applicants for the city's next fire chief in the next few days, closing in on an eight-month search to fill the job. Word on the street is that Parker is reviewing 26 people who have applied, choosing from an almost all-male pool of applicants that include veteran firefighters, engineers and professors from New York to Arizona.

We're looking for a guy with legit cojones — he'll be commanding 3,900 employees at 94 stations and a budget of $411 million. Practicality aside, here are our top five choices for Houston's next fire chief:

1). Yao Ming is a logical choice because his sheer height would make lugging a ladder to the scene of a fire unnecessary. His inherent athleticism also qualifies him for the job, as his accurate shooting touch will make him great at tossing babies onto trampolines (I assume this happens a lot).

2). The Houston Zoo's new addition, baby elephant Baylor, gets our vote for the cutest fire chief. Just imagine Bay putting out fires with his tiny trunk!

The sight would be enough to make you melt (in case you're not already melting from the house on fire.)

3). With his dashing good looks, society pretty boy Milton Townsend was destined to be a fire chief. And we're sure that nothing could make him happier than hanging out by the flames — what a convenient opportunity to work on one's tan.

4). Joel Osteen can extinguish a fire with a few words about fire and brimstone. He also has the organizational skills to rally all the firefighters in the event of a big blowout. And Osteen certainly has experience managing millions of dollars.

5). Kris Brown's been called out for missing important field goals, so he should give the position of fire chief a shot. That smile can charm its way through any firefighter brawl.