Take off all your petals
Why stop now HMNS? Call on Nelly to bring that corpse flower to full bloomingheat
OK, Houston Museum of Natural Science — now you’re on the right path, warming up your painfully shy star attraction, Lois, by recreating the subtropical climate of the corpse flower’s natural habitat.
But if you’re going to make this ultra-cool lady feel comfortable enough to toss off the petals of her long-lasting inhibitions — especially given the fact she’s supposed to reveal her charms in front of a huge crowd — you need to kick it up a notch. In fact, this thought occurred to me right after I realized where you were going with this idea to heat up the scene over there, to put Lois in the right mood.
When I read that you’ve added plastic to the museum doors to trap the heat, installed humidifiers, and trained spotlights on Lois, I thought: “MAN, it must be hot in there!”
Then, in my head, I began to hear the opening beat of the thumping rhythm that introduces a piece of irresistible dance music — rap singer Nelly’s hit 2002 single, “Hot in Herre.”
In the song, which I recalled was illustrated by two videos — one set in a dance club, and one in the St. Louis Arch — Nelly woos the beautiful object of his affection by laying out his rationale in the chorus: “It’s getting hot in here ... So take off all your clothes …”
In the background, women’s soft voices agree that it is definitely getting hot in there.
Even without seeing the dancing in that memorable club video, when you hear “Hot in Herre,” it’s impossible not to “feel like bustin’ loose,” like Nelly, and dancing.
Suddenly, I realized the truth. So that’s where you got the idea, HMNS! You stole it from my man Nelly!
Well, I say, as long as you’re going to use all the groundwork Nelly laid, to get Lois to bust loose — especially in front of all those people — you ought to follow through and play his song for her, HMNS. Come to think of it, you need to set up a couple of big screens and play both music videos, as well.
If you do that, I can promise you, pretty soon, it’ll get really hot in there, with all the people in line dancing. Even if Lois doesn’t open up right away, this will be the perfect answer to the growing concern that it’s taking an awfully long time for this stubborn flower to bloom and release its singularly unpleasant scent. This way, everybody waiting in line would be entertained, no matter what Lois does or doesn’t do. You could even make your own videos of all the people dancing in line, in the heat.
Say, here’s a Houston-hot summer blockbuster of an idea: I bet Nelly would agree to come down from St. Louis for a special “Hot in Herre” show at the museum!
Keep me posted, HMNS. I want to be first in line when the show opens.