Hey, where did Tuesday go?
There’s an excellent chance that I’m not the seasoned, savvy traveler I think I am.
On Monday, March 12, I flew from Houston to Auckland, New Zealand. It's a very popular destination for Houstonians, especially now that Air New Zealand has a non-stop flight IAH to Auckland.
I’ve flown overseas a few times — usually to Europe — always arriving the next morning. It works out fine. You sleep on the plane, and land ready to start the day.
I made plans for places to see and restaurant to visit in Auckland on Tuesday, March 13.
When I landed, it was 6 am.
Wednesday.
I never was good at math. Maybe geography is a problem, too. Auckland is 18 hours ahead of Houston. Add the 14-hour flight, and goodbye Monday, hello Wednesday. It was like Tuesday never happened. It never dawned on me that I would be arriving at dawn — the day after tomorrow.
Coming back was just as weird. We took off at 7 pm Sunday, March 18, and landed at 2:30 pm...earlier that same day.
Next week: a full account of my week in New Zealand.
Rain, rain, (TV) go away
DirecTV has completely revamped its onscreen menu. After years of looking at top-left for the channel, now the channel number is smaller and on the right side of the screen. And it’s jumbled in with other information. You need Waldo to find the channel number now.
You know the expression: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it?” DirecTV believes, “if it ain’t broke, break it.”
If DirecTV wants to make changes, how about fixing things so my TV doesn’t go out every time it drizzles in Conroe?
The WWE crystal ball
Here are my predictions for WrestleMania 34, April 8 at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome in the “City of New Orleans” (great song by Steve Goodman).
The team of Rowdy Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle will whup the husband-and-wife duo of Triple H and the Billion Dollar Princess Stephanie McMahon. I see Stephanie leaving the French Quarter with a cast on her left arm.
The Miz will retain his Intercontinental championship against Finn Balor and Seth “Freakin’” Rollins. The Miz is very underrated and will go down as the greatest Intercontinental champion of all time, no matter what the Honky Tonk Man says.
Nia Jax will jack up Alexis Bliss and take away the Raw Women’s title. This match will prove that the bigger they are, the harder they hit. Bliss looks like a ventriloquist dummy next to Jax.
Roman Reigns will reign supreme over “The Beast Incarnate” Brock Lesnar, and cop the Universal Championship strap. Fans’ boos may tear the roof off the Superdome.
AJ Styles will successfully defend his WWE title against Shinsuke Nakamura in a long, well battled match. There’s something creepy about Nakamura, and with his long-flowing hair Styles may be in line to be the next Breck Girl.
Flying with Fluffy?
You’ve probably read or heard about the problems that airlines are having transporting passengers’ pets — both in the cabin and in cargo hold. Animals are dying, getting injured, and in rare cases routed on different planes than their owners. Can you imagine? You land in Palm Springs, California, and the airline tells you that Buster is still in the air headed to Palm Beach, Florida?
Here’s an easy solution to all the potential problems raised when people bring animals to the airport.
Don’t do it.
Have you been in an airport recently? They’re starting to look like Free Adoption Day at the county animal shelter. People are bringing their pets on vacation and weekend family visits to Aunt Martha’s house. Having animals in cramped, tight quarters – like an airplane – with people who may already be fidgety, is a bad idea.
A bad idea for people. A dangerous risk for animals.
Many of the dogs are flying for free as “emotional support animals.” If a dog qualifies, the airlines must allow the dog to fly with its owner in the cabin.
It’s not difficult for a dog or cat to qualify as an “emotional support animal.” Just click on the Internet, pay $79, and wait for Princess’ “emotional support” vest and tag. Enjoy the flight, would you like coffee, tea or a saucer of milk?
I’m not saying that everybody with a pet onboard a plane is scamming the airlines.
I am saying that I would never trust an airline with my dog Lilly. It’s just a better, safer idea to leave your dog home with a dependable house sitter, or place your animal in a reputable boarding facility. Instead of paying for an online “emotional support vest,” invest in a house sitter.
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Do you travel with your pet? Got a WWE prediction, or a DirecTV hack? Let Ken know in the comments, or on Twitter.
Expect big things from Ronda Rousey and hubbie Kurt Angle at WrestleMania 34.
Late August is one of Esquire's best new restaurants.
Photo by Leonid Furmansky
