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    Ken Hoffman Live

    Hoffman's Pethouse Pet of the Week, Buffett on Broadway, Top 10 Beatles songs

    Ken Hoffman
    Jun 9, 2017 | 12:28 pm

    Here's the Pethouse Pet of the Week, and other random thoughts, ranging from George Springer's bowling bash to Jimmy Buffett's Houston visit and the top 10 Beatles songs of all time.

    Name: Marty, as in Schottenheimer, Feldman, Robbins, and the winner of the 1955 Academy Award for Best Picture, starring Ernest Borgnine.

    Ethnicity: I’m a Dachshund, with a splash of something else. Oh, like everybody in your family is perfect … you don’t have a weird uncle or crazy second cousin?

    Birthdate: July 3, 2013.

    The art of the deal: I’m available for adoption, starting 11 am Saturday, at Citizens for Animal Protection, 17555 Interstate 10 W. For more information, click on cap4pets.org or call 281-497-0591.

    Like the game show, I can be all yours – if the price is right. And the price is right at $99, which includes vaccinations, spay-neutering, medical checks for heartworms, microchipping, and more – a $400 value!

    Marty’s musings: If Time Magazine’s “Person of the Year” is someone who “for better or for worse... has done the most to influence the events of the year,” then 2017 is a done deal. It’s got to be former FBI director James Comey. It should have been him in 2016, too. Last year he wrecked the campaign of Hillary Clinton. This year, he’s trying to wreck President Trump. It ain’t easy to be hated by both political parties.

    The play’s the thing.

    Have I got a deal for you. The first 10 people who adopt a dog from Citizens for Animal Protection on Saturday will get two free tickets to The World According to Snoopy, the Theatre Under the Stars (commonly known as TUTS) musical at the Hobby Center for the Performing Arts.

    I always thought it should be Theatre IN the Stars.

    Bowling for dollars

    Astros red hot slugging star George Springer will host his 3rd annual All-Star Bowling Benefit, from 7:30 to 10 pm, Sunday at Lucky Strike in downtown Houston. Proceeds will go to Camp SAY, a summer camp for young people who stutter. Springer, who stutters, is the national spokesperson for Camp Say. Tickets for the event, which includes dinner and cocktail party, begin at $200. Click here to purchase. A silent auction will boast prizes like a J.J. Watt autographed jersey, a Dan Pastorini autographed football, and the opportunity to watch Astros batting practice on the field. Lara Bell and Melissa DeAyala are the co-chairs, with Dr. Carolyn Farb is the honorary chair.

    Check out the star-studded array of “celebrity lane captains:” Michael Garfield (KPRC-AM radio), Khambrel Marshall (Channel 2), Randy McIlvoy (Channel 2), Matt Musil (Channel 11), David Nuno (Channel 13), Dan Pastorini (football glory), Chester Pitts (Channel 2), Whitney Mercilus (Houston Texans), Ron Trevino (Channel 11), Barry Warner (KGOW-AM radio), and me (CultureMap).

    What’s Mercilus doing on this list? He actually is a celebrity.

    I’ve been warned that this is a fun event, nobody’s really keeping score, and the idea is just to raise money for Springer’s charity. Really? Not if you get on my team. I expect my bowlers to lay off the liquor, go easy on the appetizers, and be ready to throw strikes. Remember, “hit ‘em thin, and watch ‘em spin.” We’re here to win, and if we ruin everything for everybody else, that’s their problem.

    Tennis, anybody?

    While the NBA finals between Golden State and Cleveland are racking up all-time high ratings, women’s tennis is hitting the skids. I can’t wait to see the ratings for Thursday’s women’s semifinals at the French Open, with dream matches of Timea Bacsinszky vs. Jelena Ostapenko and Simona Halep vs. Karolina Pliskova.

    No Serena, no Sharapova, no Wozniacki, no Kerber, no viewers. That’s the problem with sports – you can’t always get what you want (great song by the Stones).

    However, there’s real star power on the men’s side today with hotshot Dominic Thiem facing the great Rafael Nadal, and world No. 1 Andy Murray meeting Stan Wawrinka.

    Look for the Golden State Warriors to put the Cleveland LeBrons out of their misery tonight. That’s another problem with sports – sometimes a blockbuster 7-game series ends in a 4-game sweep. All of those high ratings wasted.

    Margaritaville on Broadway

    I stopped backstage to say hello to Jimmy Buffett before his Thursday night concert at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion. He was excited about the success of his musical Escape to Margaritaville as it tours the country, coming to the Hobby Center in Houston, October 31 through November 5. Wait, it gets better.

    “We’re announcing that Escape to Margaritaville is headed to Broadway next year,” he said. The musical will starts its run on the Great White Way on February 16, 2018.

    “We will be at the Marquis Theatre and we’re doing something that’s pretty cool. The building is three stories, and we’re going to have tailgating on the second and third levels,” Buffett said.

    Tailgating on Broadway is so Jimmy Buffett.

    I asked Buffett if he knew what street the Marquis Theatre was on. He said, “It’s in Times Square, baby!”

    And that’s an order!

    McDonald’s has a deal with UberEats. You call, they deliver … Big Macs, Quarter Pounders, Sausage McMuffins, and those delicioso fries. Click on the UberEats app to get started.

    I call it a 213-way tie

    People, stop forwarding me the Vulture.com site with writer Bill Wyman (not the former Rolling Stone bass player) ranking all 213 songs recorded by The Beatles.

    It’s just a lazy “look at me” argument starter. I can’t take seriously someone who ranks “Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Band" (2 minutes and 12 seconds) at No. 82, and the Sgt. Pepper’s reprise (1:19) at No. 48. That’s like saying one slice of pizza is better than two slices.

    I can do this, too. Isn’t it time that Rockets fans admitted that David Robinson of the Spurs was a much better player than Hakeem Olajuwon? See? Look at me, I said something stupid.

    I’m not going to get into the Vulture.com rankings, but the No. 213 – and worst, supposedly – Beatles song is “Good Day Sunshine.” That’s just silly. “Good Day Sunshine” is worse than “Wild Honey Pie,” “You Know My Name, Look Up the Number” and “Revolution 9,” which isn’t even a song?

    Here, in no particular order, are my Top 10 favorite Beatles songs, and I don't want to hear any backtalk: “Here, There and Everywhere,” “All You Need is Love,” “Hello, Goodbye,” “Hey Jude,” “Come Together,” “Revolution” (the hard rocking single version), "Help!,” "A Hard Day’s Night,” “Hey Bulldog,” and “We Can Work It Out.”

    Sorry, I left out "A Day in the Life," which may be No. 1.

    --------------------

    Ken Hoffman's adoptable Pethouse Pet of the Week runs every Friday on CultureMap. Ken can be reached at ken@culturemap.com or on Twitter: @KenCultureMap. To have all CultureMap stories, including Ken's columns, delivered to your inbox in one Daily Digest every morning, sign up here.

    Astros red hot slugging star George Springer will host his 3rd annual All-Star Bowling Benefit Sunday at Lucky Strike.

    George Springer All-Star Bowling Benefit
      
    Photo by Nick Reuchel
    Astros red hot slugging star George Springer will host his 3rd annual All-Star Bowling Benefit Sunday at Lucky Strike.
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    game, set, zina.

    Best of Ken Hoffman: Interviewing Houston's greatest tennis icon

    Ken Hoffman
    Aug 29, 2024 | 12:30 pm
    Zina Garrison, tennis player
    ITATennis
    Garrison, a tennis legend, is now the tennis director of Houston Parks and Recreation.

    Editor's note: After the sudden death of beloved columnist Ken Hoffman on July 14, CultureMap is republishing some of our favorite "Hoffman's Houston" columns. In honor of the U.S. Open, here's Ken's interview with Houston tennis legend Zina Garrison; it was originally published on June 27, 2022.

    As a child, Zina Garrison learned how to hit a tennis ball on the public courts at MacGregor Park during the 1970s and became, simply, the most accomplished player ever from Houston.

    She developed into a Grand Slam champion, a Top 5 ranking in the world, Wimbledon finalist in 1990 with 20 tournament titles, Federation Cup captain, and Olympic gold medal winner and later Olympic coach.

    Now Garrison is back where she started, only this time she’s devoted to making Houston a great place to learn and play tennis … again. Like she did.

    “I am now the tennis director of Houston Parks and Recreation,” Garrison tells me. “I’m over all the public tennis programs and facilities. The job came open recently and I applied for it.”

    Wait... she’s the greatest champion this city has ever produced — and she had to apply for that job?

    “To be honest, I was more interested in the benefits than the money. As you get older, you start thinking differently,” she shares.

    Unlike the major sports leagues in America, tennis doesn’t provide any healthcare insurance or assistance once a player, even a legend, retires.

    “They’re working on it,” Garrison, 58, notes. “But as of now, nothing.”

    Garrison said her first priority as Houston’s tennis director is to repair the public courts.

    “I want to bring the public tennis facilities up to where I’d be proud, where everybody would be proud, to bring people to use our courts. There are cracks in the courts. Nothing’s really been done in the last 20 or maybe 30 years,” she says.

    “I’ve traveled to Florida and some other places and they have really nice public courts. Tennis in Houston was really thriving for a while and we had nice courts and people could play in the parks. We had junior programs. We flourished. That’s my main goal.”

    While I had Garrison on the phone, I served up some questions:

    CultureMap: Wimbledon is on. You’re familiar with that tournament, right? Who are your picks to win the men’s side and women’s side?

    Zina Garrison: Yes, I’m familiar with Wimbledon. I have my alarm set for the early morning so I can watch. I have a weird pick, a more personal pick, for the men.

    I would love to see Rafael Nadal keep going on, but it’s going to be tough for him. The guy from Italy, Matteo Berrettini, I watched him play a couple of weeks ago and I think he’s going to surprise a lot of people. And I am absolutely in love with that little guy, Carlos Alcaraz, from Spain. He’s made me watch tennis again.

    On the women’s side, I don’t think it will be Iga Swiatek. I think it’s just too hard to keep a streak like hers (35 matches in a row including the French Open title) going in today’s game. It’s really wide open. I don’t really have a pick, it’s just who comes in and plays well at the right time.

    CM: What do you think about Natela Dzalamidze, the doubles player from Russian who switched her nationality to Georgia so she could play Wimbledon, which has banned players from Russian and Belarus this year?

    ZG: I don’t like that she was able to do that. I was just on the phone with (former pro turned broadcaster) Chanda Rubin talking about what’s going on in tennis these days.

    First of all, there is the human rights stuff that’s going on in Russia and Ukraine. We have to start forcing accountability for actions. A lot of people didn’t agree with what Wimbledon did, but I think they had to take a stand.

    CM: The women’s GOAT is easy — it’s Serena. But who do you think is the men’s GOAT?

    ZG: Wow, that’s a hard one. If you had asked me earlier this year, I would have said Roger Federer because of everything he’s accomplished. But right now I’m going to have to go with Nadal. Nadal has taken tennis to a whole ‘nother level, of getting people to watch, coming out of the pandemic, where he has matches and you think he can’t come back and he’s still grinding no matter what.

    For me, he is the epitome of what we need in this world right now: Never give up but not be selfish about helping others. I know it sounds clichéd, but that’s what I’m going through right now.

    CM: When I first met you, you were painfully shy. It was hard to get an answer out of you. Now you’re a TV commentator and a regular chatterbox. What happened?

    ZG: I was an introvert but I had always been intrigued by people of wisdom. A lot of it came as I developed confidence in myself. I had always been told at a very young age, if you really knew me, I spoke a lot. If you didn’t know me, I would be quiet. I would only speak about things that I was extremely passionate about.

    As I’ve gotten older, because of my experiences. I feel like I can help people so I’m not afraid to say what I want to say.

    CM: Starting the week after Wimbledon, coaches will be allowed to communicate with men players during matches. Up to now, that’s only been allowed in the women’s game. Every other sport allows coaching. Do you think tennis should allow coaching, too?

    ZG: I don’t think coaching should be allowed. That’s one of the great things about tennis. That’s a part of the sport, that you grow and figure things out. You learn to think for yourself.

    There’s always been little signals from coaches, but now you have these full blown conversations. Another bad thing about allowing coaching is it gives the players the opportunity to blame a loss their coach. That’s not good for the sport.

    CM: You were known for wiggling your butt when receiving serve. Did you know you were doing it? Did you do that on purpose?

    ZG: It started off as kind of a joke with my coaches. They said, we need you to move your feet. I said, you mean like this?

    So, it started as a joke but I realized that it helped get my feet moving: Okay, I’m going to keep doing this.

    I’ll never forget that year after I got to the Wimbledon finals, 1990, I went over to Japan and there were 1,200 people there … and all of them started wiggling!

    CM: What was the first extravagant thing you bought for yourself when the tennis prize money started rolling in?

    ZG: It was 1982, and I bought a candy apple red Volkswagen convertible with a white top.

    CM: You were on the Biggest Loser, the show where contestants compete against each other to lose weight. Let’s just say you didn’t win. Are you happy you went on that show, or do you regret it?

    ZG: I was one of the first who had to leave the competition. (No, you were THE first.) It was an experience, but I probably shouldn’t have done it. I think I regret going on there. It wasn’t what I thought it was.

    It was reality TV and at the time I didn’t know what reality TV was .I was more ready to get out of there than anything else.

    CM: Now here’s the big question, Zina. For years, I’ve had a running disagreement with ESPN 97.5 FM morning host John Granato about which is a more demanding, tougher sport – golf or tennis?

    Granato says it’s golf, because the tournament winner has to beat every other player that week, while in tennis the winner just has to beat seven players at most. And, each week, golfers have to contend with a different course.

    But, I say it’s tennis because players have to be in top physical condition, while nearly anyone in any shape can win a golf major.

    Plus, in golf, players have a caddy helping them make decisions. In tennis, players are on their own.

    In golf, you can have a bad day on Thursday and still win the tournament. In tennis, if you have a bad day in the opening round, you’re on a plane out of there.

    In golf, it’s the player against the course. There’s no defense in golf. In tennis, there’s a human opponent trying to beat you.

    In golf, the ball is lying still. In tennis the ball is coming at you at 140 mph.

    So which is the tougher sport, golf or tennis? I’m right ... right?

    ZG: Are you serious? Who is this guy who says golf is harder? The answer is tennis and it’s not even close.

    You’re playing against someone. You’re only controlling the ball when it’s on your side of the net. You can’t control what the other player is doing. It’s almost like a boxer coming at you.

    You have to have both the physical and mental capacity to win. In golf, if you have a bad day, it’s because you’re having that bad day. There’s no opponent competing with you. So, I’m saying it’s tennis.

    CM (note to John Granato): I win. Granted, it might have been the way I asked the question. Also, Garrison is a former tennis pro.

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