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    hoffman in the uk

    Ken Hoffman Mans up in Liverpool with his rockin' Beatles journey

    Ken Hoffman
    Jan 18, 2019 | 6:10 pm
    Beatles statue
    An iconic statue of the Fab Four in Liverpool.
    Photo by Ken Hoffman

    Standing in an agonizing, slow, endless ticket line at Etihad Stadium — c’mon the game’s already started — I struck up a conversation with a Manchester City soccer fan. Still a good 30 minutes from the ticket window, the conversation turned ugly. And it was my entirely my fault. Words count.

    I asked him, “Does Manchester United play at this stadium, too, or do they have their own stadium?” The Man City fan glared at me, and with all seriousness said, “Don’t ever say that word to me.”

    What word? What did I say that offended this guy to his soul?

    “Don’t ever say the name of that other team,” he said.

    Manchester United? You have a problem with ‘United?’ What am I supposed to say?

    “You just say ‘scum,’ because that’s what they are.”

    Okay, does scum play at this stadium, too, or do they have their own stadium?

    Manchester United, or “scum,” has its own stadium called Old Trafford. It’s older and bigger than Man City’s stadium. Scum is the more popular and more dominant soccer team in Manchester — think Yankees and Mets in New York. Well, usually more dominant. This year, Man City is sitting top the standings in England’s Premier League, while scum is struggling for wins.

    Kickin' it in Manchester (via Singapore)
    Got a call recently from Singapore Airlines, inviting me to test-fly its Premium Economy Class on its Houston to Manchester leg that connects to Singapore. I’ve flown to England a few times — always to London — and never realized that there was a non-stop flight to Manchester, north of London, about halfway up England. I didn’t ace Geography in high school for nothing. Manchester is only 31 miles from Liverpool by train. I’ll spend a few days in Manchester and a few days in the Beatles’ hometown.

    Singapore Airlines’ Premium Economy class is middle ground between economy and business, trending toward business. The seats are a little larger and more spaced out than economy. When you recline all the way back, your head isn’t in the lap of the person behind you. The TV screen at each seat is a lot bigger, and the food is way, way better than the typical school lunch tray you get in economy. The Premium Economy section is small, only 24 seats, so you feel special. The best part, if you catch the fare just right, you can fly Premium Economy for a lower fare than other airlines’ economy ticket to London. I have an English friend, when she pays her own way home, flies Premium Economy on Singapore to save money.

    I didn’t know much about Manchester, except that David Beckham and Wayne Rooney played for Manchester United. I got lucky, the tourism board arranged for author Jonathan Schofield to give me a history lesson tour of downtown. He wrote the book on this city: My Guide to Manchester.

    Manchester is a big-time city, about 2.3 million population, same as Houston. Here’s a joke from Schofield that speaks to Manchester pride. Four Englishmen are talking about their country. They wonder, what’s the second most important city in England? The person from Liverpool says “Liverpool.” The person from Birmingham says “Birmingham.” The person from Leeds says “Leeds.”

    The person from Manchester says “London.”

    Mad about Man
    Saw a poster that said, “On the sixth day, God created MANchester.” Remember when Houston had an art project throughout town called CowParade, with cow sculptures everywhere? Manchester has a similar deal called “Bee in the City,” with more than 100 bee sculptures, each depicting a particular facet of the city’s culture or history. Outside my hotel, there was a bee with the names of Manchester pop music icons, like Oasis, the Bee Gees, the Hollies, John Mayall, Morrissey, the Buzzcocks and Herman’s Hermits.

    Along our way, I commented to Schofield that if I had to drive in England, I’d be in traffic court — or the hospital — first day. They drive on the left side of the road, and the steering wheel is on the right side of your car. Turning left would be troublesome and forget about traffic circles. You know that scene in National Lampoon’s European Vacation where Chevy Chase is trapped driving in circles around the Lambeth Bridge roundabout?

    Schofield explained why the English drive on the left side. He said, in days of olde (really olde), streets were narrow and fistfights were pretty common. Most people are righties, and when you walk on the left side of the road, your right hand is more handy for knocking the other bloke’s head off. In jousting, horses always pass on the left, for example. That’s how the tradition of driving on the left began, for personal protection in case fists start flying.

    I thought Schofield was putting me on. I Googled it. He was correct. Then he told me that, in America, we originally walked and rode horses on the left, too, just like our English forefathers. But after the Revolutionary War, to break tradition from the English, we moved to the right side of the road. He was right about that, too.

    My first day in Manchester, I hopped on the public tour bus. I always take the tour bus when I visit a new city. Two hours, hop on, hop off. Then I can return to the sites that interest me. The Manchester bus toddled past the Museum of Science and Industry on the site of the world’s first railroad station, Manchester Cathedral, Chinatown, Town Hall (under renovation), and the National Football Museum. I spent a couple of hours in the football museum. Did you know that scum is the richest soccer team in the world, worth about $4 billion, trailing only the Dallas Cowboys and New York Yankees as most valuable sports franchise overall?

    Scum is so commanding in English soccer culture that four different teams consider them their arch rival. Too bad Man City crushed them this year.

    Live in Liverpool
    The morning of Day 3, I walked to Oxford Road station for a train to Liverpool. No need to check the train timetable, there are 165 trains daily from Manchester to Liverpool. The fast train takes only 35 minutes. Most of the trains lumber along for 57 minutes. It takes me longer than that to drive from my house to Minute Maid Park for 7 pm game starts, and I live only eight miles — a straight shot on the Southwest Freeway — from downtown.

    Remember to hold your train ticket, you’ll need it to exit Lime Street station in Liverpool. I tossed my ticket on the train. When the station agent asked for my ticket, I went into my “I don’t speak English” tourist act and kept walking. (Never look back.)

    I arrived in Liverpool, dropped my bags at a hotel, and jumped on a tour bus. You can take a regular tour bus of regular Liverpool attractions, like museums and churches and academies, or the Magical Mystery Tour bus of Beatles attractions. I guess I’ll have to take the tourism board’s word that there are museums and churches and academies in Liverpool.

    Strawberry Field and Penny Lane
    The Beatles bus takes you past John Lennon’s boyhood home on Menlove Avenue and Paul McCartney’s family home on Forthlin Road. We stopped at Strawberry Field for a photo op. We drove along Penny Lane and saw the barbershop, bank, and fire station in McCartney’s song. The tour guide carries a guitar and sings Beatles songs as the bus approaches places in John, Paul, George and Ringo lore.

    The tour ends on Mathew Street, Beatles central, where the “Four Lads Who Rocked the World” played 292 times at the Cavern Club. The famed cellar club was torn down in 1973, but re-opened in 1984, reconstructing the Cavern Club brick-by-brick, 15,000 bricks from the original building. You’ll be surprised how small the stage was for the Beatles. One difference between old and new Cavern, the original club didn’t have a T-shirt and souvenir shop with lines of 21st century Beatles fans handing over their credit cards.

    Mathew Street is a step back in nostalgia, with the Grapes bar, McCartney’s Bar, Rubber Soul Bar, Beatles Café, Sgt. Pepper’s Bar, and more Beatles links. There’s a new Magical History Museum a few buildings down from Cavern. It’s run by Roag Best, brother of the Beatles original drummer Pete Best, and features hundreds of artifacts from the Beatles early days in Liverpool and Hamburg, Germany.

    You’ll see Paul McCartney’s microphone from the Casbah Club, John Lennon’s copy of the Beatles itinerary from their first tour of the U.S., George Harrison’s guitar from the Cavern, and Pete Best’s drum kit from Hamburg. A poster from 1962 advertises an appearance by the “Fabulous Beatles Rock Combo” with opening act “Gene Day and the Jango Beats.” The museum is five stories high, each floor packed with memorabilia, with a storage house more that will rotate in and out of the exhibit.

    Everywhere you look in Liverpool, there are tributes to the city’s impact on modern music. There are statues of the Beatles at Albert Dock, a statue of Lennon on Mathew Street, statues of Cilla Black and Billy Fury. A “Liverpool Wall of Fame” plaque lists every No. 1 worldwide record by a Liverpool artist between 1952 and 2001. The plaque ran out of space after that.

    Walking back to my hotel, I paused in a betting shop — they’re everywhere — and wagered 20 pounds on the Astros that night. The clerk told me I was the first person ever to bet on American baseball at his shop. The Astros and I won.

    I was in England six nights and ate fish ‘n’ chips five nights. I had “Sunday roast” with Yorkshire pudding the night I rested. My favorite chip shop was Johnny English on Bold Street in Liverpool. It’s tricky to maneuver there, but trust Google Maps on your phone.

    A punny sign on the wall at Johnny English reads “In Cod We Trust.” I had the large fish ‘n’ chips order, hold the mushy peas. Fantastic, incredibly crispy, delicious fish splashed with malt vinegar covered my plate. Be still my heart, I love this place. I asked the woman behind the counter, why is this so much better than I get at home? She said, “We fry our fish in beef fat.”

    On second thought, please don’t be still my heart.

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    game, set, zina.

    Best of Ken Hoffman: Interviewing Houston's greatest tennis icon

    Ken Hoffman
    Aug 29, 2024 | 12:30 pm
    Zina Garrison, tennis player
    ITATennis
    Garrison, a tennis legend, is now the tennis director of Houston Parks and Recreation.

    Editor's note: After the sudden death of beloved columnist Ken Hoffman on July 14, CultureMap is republishing some of our favorite "Hoffman's Houston" columns. In honor of the U.S. Open, here's Ken's interview with Houston tennis legend Zina Garrison; it was originally published on June 27, 2022.

    As a child, Zina Garrison learned how to hit a tennis ball on the public courts at MacGregor Park during the 1970s and became, simply, the most accomplished player ever from Houston.

    She developed into a Grand Slam champion, a Top 5 ranking in the world, Wimbledon finalist in 1990 with 20 tournament titles, Federation Cup captain, and Olympic gold medal winner and later Olympic coach.

    Now Garrison is back where she started, only this time she’s devoted to making Houston a great place to learn and play tennis … again. Like she did.

    “I am now the tennis director of Houston Parks and Recreation,” Garrison tells me. “I’m over all the public tennis programs and facilities. The job came open recently and I applied for it.”

    Wait... she’s the greatest champion this city has ever produced — and she had to apply for that job?

    “To be honest, I was more interested in the benefits than the money. As you get older, you start thinking differently,” she shares.

    Unlike the major sports leagues in America, tennis doesn’t provide any healthcare insurance or assistance once a player, even a legend, retires.

    “They’re working on it,” Garrison, 58, notes. “But as of now, nothing.”

    Garrison said her first priority as Houston’s tennis director is to repair the public courts.

    “I want to bring the public tennis facilities up to where I’d be proud, where everybody would be proud, to bring people to use our courts. There are cracks in the courts. Nothing’s really been done in the last 20 or maybe 30 years,” she says.

    “I’ve traveled to Florida and some other places and they have really nice public courts. Tennis in Houston was really thriving for a while and we had nice courts and people could play in the parks. We had junior programs. We flourished. That’s my main goal.”

    While I had Garrison on the phone, I served up some questions:

    CultureMap: Wimbledon is on. You’re familiar with that tournament, right? Who are your picks to win the men’s side and women’s side?

    Zina Garrison: Yes, I’m familiar with Wimbledon. I have my alarm set for the early morning so I can watch. I have a weird pick, a more personal pick, for the men.

    I would love to see Rafael Nadal keep going on, but it’s going to be tough for him. The guy from Italy, Matteo Berrettini, I watched him play a couple of weeks ago and I think he’s going to surprise a lot of people. And I am absolutely in love with that little guy, Carlos Alcaraz, from Spain. He’s made me watch tennis again.

    On the women’s side, I don’t think it will be Iga Swiatek. I think it’s just too hard to keep a streak like hers (35 matches in a row including the French Open title) going in today’s game. It’s really wide open. I don’t really have a pick, it’s just who comes in and plays well at the right time.

    CM: What do you think about Natela Dzalamidze, the doubles player from Russian who switched her nationality to Georgia so she could play Wimbledon, which has banned players from Russian and Belarus this year?

    ZG: I don’t like that she was able to do that. I was just on the phone with (former pro turned broadcaster) Chanda Rubin talking about what’s going on in tennis these days.

    First of all, there is the human rights stuff that’s going on in Russia and Ukraine. We have to start forcing accountability for actions. A lot of people didn’t agree with what Wimbledon did, but I think they had to take a stand.

    CM: The women’s GOAT is easy — it’s Serena. But who do you think is the men’s GOAT?

    ZG: Wow, that’s a hard one. If you had asked me earlier this year, I would have said Roger Federer because of everything he’s accomplished. But right now I’m going to have to go with Nadal. Nadal has taken tennis to a whole ‘nother level, of getting people to watch, coming out of the pandemic, where he has matches and you think he can’t come back and he’s still grinding no matter what.

    For me, he is the epitome of what we need in this world right now: Never give up but not be selfish about helping others. I know it sounds clichéd, but that’s what I’m going through right now.

    CM: When I first met you, you were painfully shy. It was hard to get an answer out of you. Now you’re a TV commentator and a regular chatterbox. What happened?

    ZG: I was an introvert but I had always been intrigued by people of wisdom. A lot of it came as I developed confidence in myself. I had always been told at a very young age, if you really knew me, I spoke a lot. If you didn’t know me, I would be quiet. I would only speak about things that I was extremely passionate about.

    As I’ve gotten older, because of my experiences. I feel like I can help people so I’m not afraid to say what I want to say.

    CM: Starting the week after Wimbledon, coaches will be allowed to communicate with men players during matches. Up to now, that’s only been allowed in the women’s game. Every other sport allows coaching. Do you think tennis should allow coaching, too?

    ZG: I don’t think coaching should be allowed. That’s one of the great things about tennis. That’s a part of the sport, that you grow and figure things out. You learn to think for yourself.

    There’s always been little signals from coaches, but now you have these full blown conversations. Another bad thing about allowing coaching is it gives the players the opportunity to blame a loss their coach. That’s not good for the sport.

    CM: You were known for wiggling your butt when receiving serve. Did you know you were doing it? Did you do that on purpose?

    ZG: It started off as kind of a joke with my coaches. They said, we need you to move your feet. I said, you mean like this?

    So, it started as a joke but I realized that it helped get my feet moving: Okay, I’m going to keep doing this.

    I’ll never forget that year after I got to the Wimbledon finals, 1990, I went over to Japan and there were 1,200 people there … and all of them started wiggling!

    CM: What was the first extravagant thing you bought for yourself when the tennis prize money started rolling in?

    ZG: It was 1982, and I bought a candy apple red Volkswagen convertible with a white top.

    CM: You were on the Biggest Loser, the show where contestants compete against each other to lose weight. Let’s just say you didn’t win. Are you happy you went on that show, or do you regret it?

    ZG: I was one of the first who had to leave the competition. (No, you were THE first.) It was an experience, but I probably shouldn’t have done it. I think I regret going on there. It wasn’t what I thought it was.

    It was reality TV and at the time I didn’t know what reality TV was .I was more ready to get out of there than anything else.

    CM: Now here’s the big question, Zina. For years, I’ve had a running disagreement with ESPN 97.5 FM morning host John Granato about which is a more demanding, tougher sport – golf or tennis?

    Granato says it’s golf, because the tournament winner has to beat every other player that week, while in tennis the winner just has to beat seven players at most. And, each week, golfers have to contend with a different course.

    But, I say it’s tennis because players have to be in top physical condition, while nearly anyone in any shape can win a golf major.

    Plus, in golf, players have a caddy helping them make decisions. In tennis, players are on their own.

    In golf, you can have a bad day on Thursday and still win the tournament. In tennis, if you have a bad day in the opening round, you’re on a plane out of there.

    In golf, it’s the player against the course. There’s no defense in golf. In tennis, there’s a human opponent trying to beat you.

    In golf, the ball is lying still. In tennis the ball is coming at you at 140 mph.

    So which is the tougher sport, golf or tennis? I’m right ... right?

    ZG: Are you serious? Who is this guy who says golf is harder? The answer is tennis and it’s not even close.

    You’re playing against someone. You’re only controlling the ball when it’s on your side of the net. You can’t control what the other player is doing. It’s almost like a boxer coming at you.

    You have to have both the physical and mental capacity to win. In golf, if you have a bad day, it’s because you’re having that bad day. There’s no opponent competing with you. So, I’m saying it’s tennis.

    CM (note to John Granato): I win. Granted, it might have been the way I asked the question. Also, Garrison is a former tennis pro.

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