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    Game, Set, Match

    Seriously: McEnroe doesn't know when to shut up about Serena

    Ken Hoffman
    Jul 3, 2017 | 11:43 am
    Houston, Ken Hoffman, Serena Williams, July 2017
    Does anybody think, all things being equal, Serena Williams, playing her absolute best (pre-pregnancy), could beat Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal or Novak Djokovic?
    Serena Williams/Facebook

    Aside from everything else, the question was beyond ridiculous. Lulu Garcia-Navarro, a reporter for National Public Radio, was interviewing John McEnroe about his new book, But Seriously, when Garcia-Navarro asked Johnny Mac what he thought about Serena Williams.
     
    McEnroe praised Serena to the moon, called her the greatest female player ever. McEnroe, whom the British press once called “McBrat” and “McNasty,” was playing nice. And accurate. Serena is the GOAT – the greatest of all-time.
     
    This seemed to set Garcia-Navarro off. "Some wouldn't qualify it, some would say she's the best player in the world," she said. “Why qualify it?”
     
    That would have been a decent question if she meant to plug McEnroe’s book: But Seriously. And then changed the topic.
     
    McEnroe took the bait. “You mean the best player in the world, period?”
     
    Garcia-Navarro held her ground. “Yeah, the best tennis player in the world. You know, why say female player?"
     
    Here’s where McEnroe should have resurrected his famous line, “You cannot be serious!” Instead, he explained, calmly, that if Serena Williams played the men’s ATP circuit, she’d be ranked about 700th.
     
    I’d like to know who Garcia-Navarro is talking about … “Some wouldn’t qualify it, some would say she’s the best player in the world.”
     
    While that’s a crazy statement, I do agree with her about one thing. Serena Williams wouldn’t be ranked 700th in the world if she played against men.
     
    I can’t come up with a number, but I’m hearing the Price is Right audience yelling, “Higher, higher!”
     
    It’s tennis, played on the same sized court, but men and women don’t play the same game. They play with the same rackets, but with different balls. Please, no snickering. Men use balls that slow their game down, so it’s more entertaining for fans. Women use balls that speed up their game.
     
    You’ll give me that men hit the ball harder than women, right? Serena is used to returning women’s serves that, in most cases, hover around 100 mph. Good luck with John Isner’s 145-mph cannon blasts.
     
    Last April, I was in a room with a few tennis pros, men and women, and I raised this question: What if John Isner, who has a thunderous, booming serve but a below-average ground game, played Caroline Wozniacki, who has an average women’s serve, but is a fantastic, speedy groundstroker and retriever?

     

    The stipulation: Isner has to serve underhand, removing his primary (to borrow from Garcia-Navarro, some might say only) weapon.
     
    Who’d win?
     
    Every person in that room, except me, said Isner. He still hits his groundstrokes, errant as they may be, too hard for Wozniacki to handle. I still think Caro would beat Isner.
     
    Williams is a powerful, intimidating legend on the women’s tour. I love watching her play. But on the men’s tour, she would be none of those things. Her fastest serves would barely be average against the men.
     
    Outside of shooting, I can’t find one sport where times and measurements are kept — like swimming, running, weightlifting, jumping, etc. — where a woman holds the all-time mark. In fact, a study shows that, on average, the women’s record is about 10 percent lower than the men’s standard.
     
    Is there a woman in the world who can run faster than Usain Bolt? Swim faster than Michael Phelps? Shoot a hockey puck faster than Shea Weber of the Montreal Canadians? Ski faster than Ivan Origone of Italy? (Okay, I had to look those last two up.)
     
    There are sports where women compete head-to-head against men and are successful, like sailing, horse racing, car racing, and archery. And mixed doubles is a popular part of recreational tennis.
     
    But one-on-one tennis? On a professional level? No.
     
    Sure, Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs in the “Battle of the Sexes” in 1973 in the Astrodome. You know what proved? Nothing. That wasn’t a tennis match, that was professional wrestling. King was 29 years old, near the top of her game. Riggs was 55, over the hill and possibly over his head in debt. King won in straight sets. Riggs looked like he was barely trying, which many suspect was the case.
     
    Closer to actual tennis, Jimmy Connors played Martina Navratilova in a special handicap match in 1992 in Las Vegas. Connors was 40, but still competing at a high level. Navratilova was 35, still winning tournaments. It wasn’t played on even terms, however. Connors got only one serve instead of the traditional two, and Navratilova was allowed half of the doubles alleys. Connors won in straight sets. Later he admitted that, in addition to winning $1.2 million in prize money, he bet another $1 million on himself.
     
    Retired French star Yannick Noah, 43, played Belgian great Justine Henin, 21, in a friendly match in 2003 in Brussels. Noah wore a dress and bra during much of the match. And still won.
     
    Does anybody think, all things being equal, Serena Williams, playing her absolute best (pre-pregnancy), could beat Roger Federer or Rafael Nadal or Novak Djokovic?
     
    Or Nerman Fatic from Bosnia-Herzegovina, the No. 700-ranked male tennis player?
     
    So why does Lulu Garcia-Navarro (and her imaginary “some would say”) think that Serena Williams is the best tennis player in the world, period?
     
    If she was just looking for an argument and publicity, then game, set, match, Garcia-Navarro.

     

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    game, set, zina.

    Best of Ken Hoffman: Interviewing Houston's greatest tennis icon

    Ken Hoffman
    Aug 29, 2024 | 12:30 pm
    Zina Garrison, tennis player
    ITATennis
    Garrison, a tennis legend, is now the tennis director of Houston Parks and Recreation.

    Editor's note: After the sudden death of beloved columnist Ken Hoffman on July 14, CultureMap is republishing some of our favorite "Hoffman's Houston" columns. In honor of the U.S. Open, here's Ken's interview with Houston tennis legend Zina Garrison; it was originally published on June 27, 2022.

    As a child, Zina Garrison learned how to hit a tennis ball on the public courts at MacGregor Park during the 1970s and became, simply, the most accomplished player ever from Houston.

     

    She developed into a Grand Slam champion, a Top 5 ranking in the world, Wimbledon finalist in 1990 with 20 tournament titles, Federation Cup captain, and Olympic gold medal winner and later Olympic coach.

     

    Now Garrison is back where she started, only this time she’s devoted to making Houston a great place to learn and play tennis … again. Like she did.

     

    “I am now the tennis director of Houston Parks and Recreation,” Garrison tells me. “I’m over all the public tennis programs and facilities. The job came open recently and I applied for it.”

     

    Wait... she’s the greatest champion this city has ever produced — and she had to apply for that job?

     

    “To be honest, I was more interested in the benefits than the money. As you get older, you start thinking differently,” she shares.

     

    Unlike the major sports leagues in America, tennis doesn’t provide any healthcare insurance or assistance once a player, even a legend, retires.

     

    “They’re working on it,” Garrison, 58, notes. “But as of now, nothing.”

     

    Garrison said her first priority as Houston’s tennis director is to repair the public courts.

     

    “I want to bring the public tennis facilities up to where I’d be proud, where everybody would be proud, to bring people to use our courts. There are cracks in the courts. Nothing’s really been done in the last 20 or maybe 30 years,” she says.

     

    “I’ve traveled to Florida and some other places and they have really nice public courts. Tennis in Houston was really thriving for a while and we had nice courts and people could play in the parks. We had junior programs. We flourished. That’s my main goal.”

     

    While I had Garrison on the phone, I served up some questions:

     

     CultureMap: Wimbledon is on. You’re familiar with that tournament, right? Who are your picks to win the men’s side and women’s side?

     

     Zina Garrison: Yes, I’m familiar with Wimbledon. I have my alarm set for the early morning so I can watch. I have a weird pick, a more personal pick, for the men.

     

    I would love to see Rafael Nadal keep going on, but it’s going to be tough for him. The guy from Italy, Matteo Berrettini, I watched him play a couple of weeks ago and I think he’s going to surprise a lot of people. And I am absolutely in love with that little guy, Carlos Alcaraz, from Spain. He’s made me watch tennis again.

     

    On the women’s side, I don’t think it will be Iga Swiatek. I think it’s just too hard to keep a streak like hers (35 matches in a row including the French Open title) going in today’s game. It’s really wide open. I don’t really have a pick, it’s just who comes in and plays well at the right time.

     

     CM: What do you think about Natela Dzalamidze, the doubles player from Russian who switched her nationality to Georgia so she could play Wimbledon, which has banned players from Russian and Belarus this year?

     

     ZG: I don’t like that she was able to do that. I was just on the phone with (former pro turned broadcaster) Chanda Rubin talking about what’s going on in tennis these days.

     

    First of all, there is the human rights stuff that’s going on in Russia and Ukraine. We have to start forcing accountability for actions. A lot of people didn’t agree with what Wimbledon did, but I think they had to take a stand.

     

     CM: The women’s GOAT is easy — it’s Serena. But who do you think is the men’s GOAT?

     

     ZG: Wow, that’s a hard one. If you had asked me earlier this year, I would have said Roger Federer because of everything he’s accomplished. But right now I’m going to have to go with Nadal. Nadal has taken tennis to a whole ‘nother level, of getting people to watch, coming out of the pandemic, where he has matches and you think he can’t come back and he’s still grinding no matter what.

     

    For me, he is the epitome of what we need in this world right now: Never give up but not be selfish about helping others. I know it sounds clichéd, but that’s what I’m going through right now.

     

     CM: When I first met you, you were painfully shy. It was hard to get an answer out of you. Now you’re a TV commentator and a regular chatterbox. What happened?

     

     ZG: I was an introvert but I had always been intrigued by people of wisdom. A lot of it came as I developed confidence in myself. I had always been told at a very young age, if you really knew me, I spoke a lot. If you didn’t know me, I would be quiet. I would only speak about things that I was extremely passionate about.

     

    As I’ve gotten older, because of my experiences. I feel like I can help people so I’m not afraid to say what I want to say.

     

     CM: Starting the week after Wimbledon, coaches will be allowed to communicate with men players during matches. Up to now, that’s only been allowed in the women’s game. Every other sport allows coaching. Do you think tennis should allow coaching, too?

     

     ZG: I don’t think coaching should be allowed. That’s one of the great things about tennis. That’s a part of the sport, that you grow and figure things out. You learn to think for yourself.

     

    There’s always been little signals from coaches, but now you have these full blown conversations. Another bad thing about allowing coaching is it gives the players the opportunity to blame a loss their coach. That’s not good for the sport.

     

     CM: You were known for wiggling your butt when receiving serve. Did you know you were doing it? Did you do that on purpose?

     

     ZG: It started off as kind of a joke with my coaches. They said, we need you to move your feet. I said, you mean like this?

     

    So, it started as a joke but I realized that it helped get my feet moving: Okay, I’m going to keep doing this.

     

    I’ll never forget that year after I got to the Wimbledon finals, 1990, I went over to Japan and there were 1,200 people there … and all of them started wiggling!

     

     CM: What was the first extravagant thing you bought for yourself when the tennis prize money started rolling in?

     

     ZG: It was 1982, and I bought a candy apple red Volkswagen convertible with a white top.

     

     CM: You were on the Biggest Loser, the show where contestants compete against each other to lose weight. Let’s just say you didn’t win. Are you happy you went on that show, or do you regret it?

     

     ZG: I was one of the first who had to leave the competition. (No, you were THE first.) It was an experience, but I probably shouldn’t have done it. I think I regret going on there. It wasn’t what I thought it was.

     

    It was reality TV and at the time I didn’t know what reality TV was .I was more ready to get out of there than anything else.

     

     CM: Now here’s the big question, Zina. For years, I’ve had a running disagreement with ESPN 97.5 FM morning host John Granato about which is a more demanding, tougher sport – golf or tennis?

     

     Granato says it’s golf, because the tournament winner has to beat every other player that week, while in tennis the winner just has to beat seven players at most. And, each week, golfers have to contend with a different course.

     

     But, I say it’s tennis because players have to be in top physical condition, while nearly anyone in any shape can win a golf major.

     

     Plus, in golf, players have a caddy helping them make decisions. In tennis, players are on their own.

     

     In golf, you can have a bad day on Thursday and still win the tournament. In tennis, if you have a bad day in the opening round, you’re on a plane out of there.

     

     In golf, it’s the player against the course. There’s no defense in golf. In tennis, there’s a human opponent trying to beat you.

     

     In golf, the ball is lying still. In tennis the ball is coming at you at 140 mph.

     

     So which is the tougher sport, golf or tennis? I’m right ... right?

     

     ZG: Are you serious? Who is this guy who says golf is harder? The answer is tennis and it’s not even close.

     

    You’re playing against someone. You’re only controlling the ball when it’s on your side of the net. You can’t control what the other player is doing. It’s almost like a boxer coming at you.

     

    You have to have both the physical and mental capacity to win. In golf, if you have a bad day, it’s because you’re having that bad day. There’s no opponent competing with you. So, I’m saying it’s tennis.

     

     CM (note to John Granato): I win. Granted, it might have been the way I asked the question. Also, Garrison is a former tennis pro.

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