Ken Hoffman's favorite Houston Hooters among dozens closed nationwide

Hooters on Sunday abruptly announced that it was closing dozens of its restaurants across the country, including several in Texas, among them Wichita Falls, Bryan, Seabrook and McAllen. “Permanently closed” signs were hung on their front doors.

It’s understandable. When Hooters opened its first restaurant in 1983 in Clearwater, Florida and quickly flapped its wings across the country, there was little competition in selling wings. Their female servers, called Hooters Girls, became a national phenomenon, much like the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders, selling wholesome sexiness.

Operating restaurants is a tricky business. According to the National Restaurant Association, about 60 percent of restaurants fail in their first year, and 80 percent fail within five years.

Successful restaurants must deal with copycat competition, and Hooters faced challenges from wing joints like Buffalo Wild Wings, Pluckers, Bombshells, Dream Wings, Big City Wings, Wings-N-Things, Twin Peaks, and Wingstop. And that’s just in Houston. Thousands of other wing restaurants popped up nationally. Even pizza chains put wings on their menus.

So it wasn’t surprising that Hooters announced it was closing many of its restaurants. Tough business.

But hold on. The Hooters on Kirby and the Southwest Freeway was on the list of restaurants that closed. That is/was my go-to Hooters. I guess the “was” is one of the reasons it was on the chopping block.

Statement from Hooters corporate:

Like many restaurants under pressure from current market conditions, Hooters has made the difficult decision to close a select number of underperforming stores. Ensuring the well-being of our staff is our priority in these rare instances. With new Hooters restaurants opening domestically and internationally, new Hooters frozen products launching at grocery stores, and the Hooters footprint expanding into new markets with both company and franchise locations, this brand of 41 years remains highly resilient and relevant. We look forward to continuing to serve our guests at home, on the go and at our restaurants here in the U.S. and around the globe.

Coach of the Year

I have fond memories of the Hooters on Kirby and the Southwest Freeway. When I was a Little League coach, I often took my team to Hooters after games. Talk about a motivator. The kids loved that place. By the way, Hooters restaurants have a children’s menu.

I would give the boys a choice. Did they want to go to Dairy Queen, McDonald’s, a pizza place, or Hooters? You know which one they picked every time. My assistant coaches made the vote unanimous.

One time, one of the team moms told me she didn’t think it was appropriate that I took the kids to Hooters. She said the female waitresses were too scantily dressed. I asked her, have you ever been to Hooters? Hooters Girls wear more clothes and are more covered up than she was at the moment. Not a fan of flip-flops.

Hooters Girls wear T-shirts, bras, shorts, pantyhose, socks, and sneakers. Cheerleaders at sports games and runners in Memorial Park wear less clothing than Hooters Girls. Have you been to Galveston beach?

And cheerleaders generally don’t smell like deep-fried chicken wings.

Kayfabe

Then there was the time I wrestled a few matches for Texas All-Star Wrestling in Humble. I asked one of the Kirby Hooters Girls to be my valet.

I was scheduled to meet a wrestler named Bonez in my debut. Before the match, I told Bonez that it was OK if he beat me up pretty good, just don’t kick me in the head. The Hooters Girl escorted me to the ring.

Before the bell rang, when I was on my knees praying, Bonez ran across the ring and kicked me in the head, knocking me “unconscious.”

The place went nuts. The Hooters Girl climbed into ring, leaned over me, took my pulse and screamed … “He’s dead!”

Security brought a stretcher into the ring, and I was carried back to the locker room, with my valet crying hysterically. Show business.