This week I wanted to shake it up with some food thoughts, specifically the burger. Why? Because they are delicious.
I also want to tell you what to drink with that burger, because you should have a beverage with your meal. Traditionally, this is a beverage column but CultureMap is super cool with letting me write about whatever comes to mind. Let's get into it.
[Editor’s note: Houston burger fans remember that Chris knows this topic well. The Cease and Desist Burger he served at Hay Merchant was always on lists of Houston’s best burgers.]
I know that this has been done so many times, but I think a burger is a very personal thing. I wanted to share a list of burgers that I think are special — but not ranked in any order. I'm not going to tell you one is better than another.
I’m rating these burgers using the Chris Shepherd High Five Scale:
- 5 high fives= Get there as fast as legally possible. I think about this burger often
- 4 high fives= Super solid, haven't had a bad one yet and upholds all my expectations
- 3 high fives= There is just something about it that I like. Wholesome and satisfying
- 2 high fives= It's still very good and better than most and is a good item
- 1 high five= You will never see me give anyone this, because I just won't tell you about it.
People work hard and don't deserve a low rating from me. I want everyone to succeed. Even if I didn’t like the burger, the restaurant may have been having a bad day or maybe I just didn't understand the direction — and that’s okay! This business is hard, and everyone working in restaurants deserves a little grace.
Each person is different in the way that they want their burgers to be. For true pleasure, you should have it the way that you want it. I'm not going to tell you how to order your burger, but I will tell you how I prefer mine. Those that know me know that I have a list of dislikes that I'm very open about.
Here are my general rules for burger toppings:
- Tomato: Only okay when in season. When they’re not good, they get kicked out out of the party really fast.
- Onion: I have a love-hate relationship with onions. It's complicated. Raw white onions are a pass because they can be too overbearing. Caramelized are traditionally too sweet. Red onions are good from time to time depending on how they are cut. I like charred yellow onions, but you almost never see that as an option. Mixing roughly chopped white onions in with iceberg lettuce always disappoints me.
- Mustard and mayonnaise are a yes.
- Jalapeños: Always recommended fresh, pickled, or charred.
- Lettuce: Iceberg is the only lettuce that truly belongs, either shredded or whole leaf. Bibb lettuce and leaf lettuce wilt too fast. Baby greens are a big hell no — please tell me why that was the choice.
- Cheese: American cheese is the preferred cheese 99 percent of the time. It has the perfect melting consistency.
- Ketchup: Chefs, please stop making "house made" ketchup. Heinz is really the top choice with the Whataburger spicy right behind.
- Bacon: Only works with certain burgers.
- Avocado. Never. Argue with me all you want.
Here are a few of my favorite burgers in Houston to get you started on your happiness journey
Champ Burger - 304 Sampson St.
Champ Burger is a Houston institution that has been cooking burgers for over 60 years. Your journey begins by ordering at a little walk up window. Take your burger to-go or have a seat at one of the tables on the patio. The old school burgers remind me of what my grandpa would cook for us when I was a child. It's that memory that sends me into a place of happiness and comfort.
My order is a Champ burger with bacon, cheese, and jalapeños, plus beer battered onion rings and an ice tea.
Let's talk about the bacon for a second. They have a little fryer off to the side of the flat grill that is only used to fry the bacon in. Just think about that for a second, bacon fried crispy in bacon fat and yes it's perfect.
Rating: 4 high fives
What to drink - Large iced tea, because it's refreshing and delicious.
The Toasted Coconut -1617 Richmond Ave.
Martin and Sarah Stayer are absolutely fantastic restauranteurs, and Houston needs to be happy that their vision has given us Nobie's, The Toasted Coconut, and Nonno's Family Pizza Tavern.
The burger at Toasted is a double patty topped with American cheese, chili aioli, pickles, and red onion that’s served on a house made Hawaiian bun. This is not a smash burger just a double patty with double cheese which is what makes this burger great — as they say on the menu, it’s "World Famous."
This style of burger is one of my favorites, because the two smaller patties with the cheese create a perfect mouth feel when you bite into it. It's just the right size. The chili aioli gives it the creaminess that mayo traditionally adds with a touch of heat. The pickles bring acidity, and the red onions add a slightly powerful flavor to the party.
Big high five to the process of making the bun in house. That is a hard thing to keep up with when you are talking amount and consistency, but this team gets it done perfectly. Throw in a side of fries and a Painkilla and call it a happy day
Rating: 4.3 high fives
What to drink - A Zombie cocktail
Bludorn - 807 Taft St.
When Aaron Bludorn, Victoria Pappas Bludorn, and Cherif Mbodji opened Bludorn in 2020 it was a instant classic. Hard work, dedication and fantastic hospitality set the stage for diners to fall in love.
The burger at Bludorn is a big one that consists of 8-ounce, dry-aged beef patty, aged Cheddar, Dijonnaise, and caramelized onions on a house made, benne seed bun. The dry-aging on the burger is just right for me, because I like the beef flavor without rolling into the funky blue cheese flavors that dry aging can bring. It's also a good splittable burger so that you can order more things like potato wedges(traditionally not a fan but they are delicious here) and the creamed spinach.
Anytime you go to Bludorn, you should probably start with some oysters, raw and roasted are our favorites and DO NOT sleep on their house made hot sauce Grab a bottle for me, please.
Rating: 4.2 high fives
What to drink - If you are at the bar grab a glass of either Sancerre Famille Natter "Chvaix de Bois", Loire 2023 or Domaine Henri & Gilles Buisson, Bourgogne 2023 or whatever Red Burgundy they have by the glass. Or you could just order a bottle, because that's what I do.
Cantina Barba - 3701 N Main St.
Cantina Barba deserves a special place in this burger conversation, because it’s uncomplicated — a small burger that comes with a single patty, slice of American cheese, burger sauce, house made pickle and a squishy bun. I make it a double and add charred jalapeños and bacon.
Trust me: I believe that this burger only gets better after it has sat in the paper and foil wrapper for about 10 minutes for it to become one with itself. I found this out. because I’ve had it delivered late at night to feed friends after the wine has been flowing. Nothing says I love you like Cantina Barba’s “Burger Bag” of five burgers and a sack of fries for $35. Side note: Fries will not stay crispy when delivered, so add chips and queso for a little extra!
Rating: 3.9 high fives
What to drink - If you are there, a Chilton cocktail; if you are home, whatever you want!
Burger Bodega - 4520 Washington Ave.
Abbas Dhanani had a dream and a vision of bringing New York-style bodega burgers to Houston. You walk in, and the decor is so Houston it's amazing. His menu is straightforward — Single, double, or triple smash burger with American cheese, griddled onions, house made pickles, and Bodega sauce on a potato bun.
Burger Bodega has mastered the smash burger technique to get that lacy crisp texture to the patty. Then, add all the toppings and put it on a super soft potato bun — it's a thing of beauty. I'm a double kind of person, my wife Lindsey is a single, and I'm not sure who is a triple but I'm sure those fanatics are out there.
The sleeper and this is where the big decision comes into play — what about ordering the chopped cheese sandwich instead of a smash burger? It isn't a Houston thing, but it’s absolutely a NYC thing. Two patties are put on the flat grill and smashed just as the burger but then the magic happens. Chopped onion and peppers are added to this and the chopping begins as if it was a cheese steak. The cheese is added and folded in with the meat, onions, and peppers. Once its perfect, it's all scooped up and slid into a Royal Bakery hoagie bun with Shrettuce (shredded iceberg), tomatoes, and bodega sauce. It's a really fantastic experience with a side of crispy thin cut fries and a mango lassi shake.
- Smash burger: 4.2 high fives
- Chopped cheese: 4.5 high fives
What to drink - The mango lassi shake, of course
This is where we are going to stop for today. I’ll do this from time to time because the burger is iconic, and Houston always has so many to talk about out. Do me a favor, let me know who you are giving your best High Five to. Let's share the love!!!
Chris recommends both the smash burger and chopped cheese at Burger Bodega.
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Which other burgers in Houston should get high fives? Tell Chris via email at chris@chrisshepherd.is.
Chris Shepherd won a James Beard Award for Best Chef: Southwest in 2014. The Southern Smoke Foundation, a nonprofit he co-founded with his wife Lindsey Brown, has distributed more than $12 million to hospitality workers in crisis through its Emergency Relief Fund. Catch his TV show, Eat Like a Local, every Saturday at 10 am on KPRC Channel 2 or on YouTube.
