Dearest Darling In-N-Out Burger,
We'll wait for the squeals to die down before we continue.
But it seems that you made a bit of a mistake. You see, we're pretty certain you meant to stake your juicy double-double in the southern Texas bubble. How you landed all the way up in Garland is beyond us.
If you needed a map, you could've asked, love. We would've been there for you. Why did you forsake us?
We don't like you being all the way up there, so close to deceptive Dallas. We don't support it. You're too far away from us. We have more people in the city, and therefore, more carnivores. We feel snubbed. Shafted. Brokenhearted.
But we'll wait for you, In-N-Out. We would wait until the end of time for you.
We still love you. And we still want you. More than Garland or the entire state of Texas itself. So, for now, Houston will continue to hold its breath, and wait for your arrival deep in the heart of Texas.
P.S. - Anyone up for a road trip?