Trendysomething in SoMo
Fergie, Frat, Franco: Deciphering the meaning of the new F-Bar
Are we getting a bar for Beats?
F-Bar's namesake?
You know you want it.
According to MyGayHouston.com (that's mine, not yours), a new hotspot is slated to open later this month on the border of Montrose and Midtown. Dubbed F-Bar, the luxe club in the former home of Tuam Street's Hue promises chandeliers, elaborate wall coverings, velvet drapes and a glassed-in lounge area.
The moniker supposedly derives from the FashionBar in Singapore (with which we are all so familiar), but surely the name is open to interpretation.
Here's the short list for F-Bar's other F-meanings. We've skipped the obvious one (fabulous), but who's to say the meaning isn't . . .
Fergie: Gay guys love Fergie, right? Despite a less-than-popular Super Bowl performance, the B-List pop star has a few tricks up her sleeve (along with a little pee in her pants). What's more, the irony of loving London Bridge will never fade:
Frat: The keg stands, the frisky tailgates, the communal restrooms: a frat-house themed gay bar is every fantasy come true.
Fetish: There's going to be a 1,600-square-foot patio featuring cabanas and a glass fire pit. That sounds like a lot of space for a lot of S&M.
Furry: Finally, a home for fans of anthropomorphic animals. Sexy Sonic the Hedgehogs will gather near the dance floor, while shy opossum-outfitted dudes will linger near the velvet drapes. F-Bar is promising "elaborate wall coverings," so who's to say this taste for plush won't be all-encompassing?
Furby: The Furby is similar to furries, but with an edge of technology and '90s nostalgia. Am I suggesting that this bar will exclusively cater to men and women dressed in Furby costumes? It's a possibility.
Frumpy: Wouldn't it be nice to have a club on hand where we could let it all hang loose? Save the showers for the other dives.
French:Francophiles can jam to Justice remixes and revel in Carla Bruni drag competitions.
Franco: This is in dedication to the dreamy James Franco. If you dress like the Spanish dictator, that would be really awkward.
Fixies:Fixed gear bikes have reached a critical mass, and now there's a late night hangout for these hipster loose riders.
F: Maybe the bar is simply sponsored by the letter "F," like how episodes of Sesame Street would be sponsored by specific letters and numerals. In the wake of the recession, the alphabet is resorting to sneaky marketing tactics.
