Worst Holiday Gifts Ever
The tradition of holiday gift-giving is meant to create wonderful, Norman Rockwell-esque memories that will last the recipient years. Unfortunately, that isn't always what happens.
Do yourself a favor and save some money (and friendships) this holiday season by vowing never to gift any item on this list of the worst holiday gifts:
1). The toe separator socks from Happyfeet are truly horrendous and should be avoided at all costs. Made of drab-colored marled yarn with bright "toe separators," these socks trump all the bad socks that have come before them. While they are functional for people with "bunions, cramps and heel pain," I can't imagine anyone adding these to their holiday wish list.
2). Jillian Michaels' workout DVD No More Trouble Zones might be an OK gift for yourself, but let's keep self-esteem high this holiday season and not indicate to loved ones that they need help with their "trouble zones."
3). The onion goggles from RSVP may be useful, but who wants that kind of gift? If you're aiming to make the recipient look ridiculous while chopping onions, then these 1990s-looking pink goggles are exactly what you need to make the holidays as humiliating as possible.
4). Does your loved one like scarves? Do they occasionally carry things, too?
Ruin a perfectly good scarf by adding an unnecessary pocket that, if utilized, is sure to add some uncomfortable around-the-neck weight.
Then the Sholdit scarf-purse is the perfect (terrible) gift. Ruin a perfectly good scarf by adding an unnecessary pocket that, if utilized, is sure to add some uncomfortable around-the-neck weight to an otherwise functional gift.
5). While there is certainly no shortage of terrible Houston Texans themed gifts, the high heel wine bottle holder has to be the worst one. Not only is the concept itself an atrociously tacky one, but it's emblazoned with rhinestones as well in case you want some bling on your wine shoe.
6). With so many fragrances out there, it's hard to choose the worst one, but Demeter's "Glue" — available in cologne, perfume, shower gel, massage oil and even room spray — comes out on top (or bottom, depending on how you see it).
According to the description, "it will NOT make you high" but it will certainly make you the worst gift-giver of all time.
7). If you're looking to profoundly embarrass your loved ones this holiday season, nothing will accomplish that better than One-Drop Bathroom Deodorizers. Let your friends and relatives know that you think they stink (literally) and the drops are conveniently offered in a pack of four for added humiliation.
8). When looking for terrible gifts, no resource is better than Etsy. Say "Happy Holidays" in the worst way possible with the turkey-shaped vegan soap from AubreyEApothecary, sure to send mixed messages to any meat-free recipient.
9). If your loved one is into vintage goods this vintage taxidermy alligator purse — another gem from Etsy — would make incredibly awful holiday gift. Who could possibly be disappointed by a terrifying alligator head attached to a purse?
10). The final gift — one which has unfortunately made a significant comeback in the last few years despite being the single worst one on the list — is the Furby. Giving one of these impossibly chatty monsters to a child is like giving their parents the holiday gift of torture. The robotic toy will babble endlessly — in its own unintelligible language, no less — and the only way to stop it is to conveniently "lose" its batteries (permanently).
If you can manage to avoid these gifts this holiday season, you might not be doing something right, but you certainly aren't the worst gifter ever.