madge in h-town

Madonna mounts global celebration tour for 2023 with stop in Houston

Madonna in headdress at her appearance at Super Bowl 2012.

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One-named pop singer Madonna is mounting a global tour in 2023, starting in the U.S. in mid-July before heading to Europe. Called "Madonna: The Celebration Tour," it'll highlight her catalog of music from the past 40-plus years.

The tour will hit 35 cities in total including three Texas cities, all in mid September.

UPDATE 1-19-2023: Madonna has added 13 new dates to the tour, including second shows in Houston, Dallas, and Austin. The dates below reflect the new shows:

Wednesday, September 13 and newly added Thursday, September 14 – Houston, Toyota Center
Monday, September 18 and newly added Tuesday, September 19 – Dallas, American Airlines Center
Thursday, September 21 and newly added Friday, September 22 – Austin, Moody Center ATX

Produced by Live Nation, the tour will kick off in North America on Saturday, July 15 at Rogers Arena in Vancouver, BC, and wrap up in Amsterdam on Friday, December 1. Other stops across the U.S. include Detroit, Chicago, New York, Miami, and Los Angeles, before it makes its way to Europe where it will hit 11 cities throughout the fall, including London, Barcelona, Paris, and Stockholm.

Her last dates in Texas were in January 2016, when she stopped in Houston and San Antonio on her "Rebel Heart" tour. The last time she played Dallas was in October 2012.

According to a release, the "Celebration Tour" will journey through Madonna’s four-decade career, paying respect to the city of New York where it began.

"I am excited to explore as many songs as possible in hopes to give my fans the show they have been waiting for," Madonna says in a statement.

The "Celebration Tour" will offer a one-of-a-kind experience with special guest Bob the Drag Queen a.k.a. Caldwell Tidicue across all dates.

Tickets
Tickets go on sale starting Friday, January 20 at 10 am at madonna.com/tour.

Citi cardmembers will have access to presale tickets beginning Tuesday, January 17 at 2 pm through Thursday, January 19 at 6 pm through the Citi Entertainment program. For details, visit www.citientertainment.com.

Legacy members of Madonna’s Official Fan Club will have a pre-sale opportunity beginning Tuesday, January 17 at 11 am through Wednesday, January 18 at 4 pm for shows in the U.S.; and from 9 am GMT/10 am CET to 5 pm GMT/6 pm CET on Wednesday, January 18 for UK and European shows.

Fans can also purchase VIP Packages, which may include premium tickets, exclusive access to a behind the scenes tour, group photo on-stage, pre-show reception, limited edition lithograph, and more. For more information, visit vipnation.com.

Tour dates in the U.S. are as follows:
Sat Jul 15 – Vancouver, BC – Rogers Arena
Tue Jul 18 – Seattle, WA – Climate Pledge Arena
Sat Jul 22 – Phoenix, AZ – Footprint Center
Tue Jul 25 – Denver, CO – Ball Arena
Thu Jul 27 – Tulsa, OK – BOK Center
Sun Jul 30 – St. Paul, MN – Xcel Energy Center
Wed Aug 02 – Cleveland, OH – Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse
Sat Aug 05 – Detroit, MI – Little Caesars Arena
Mon. Aug 07 – Pittsburgh, PA – PPG Paints Arena
Wed Aug 09 – Chicago, IL – United Center
Sun Aug 13 – Toronto, ON – Scotiabank Arena
Sat Aug 19 – Montreal, QC – Centre Bell
Wed Aug 23 – New York, NY – Madison Square Garden
Thu Aug 24 – New York, NY – Madison Square Garden
Wed Aug 30 – Boston, MA – TD Garden
Sat Sep 02 – Washington, DC – Capital One Arena
Tue Sep 05 – Atlanta, GA – State Farm Arena
Thu Sep 07 – Tampa, FL – Amalie Arena
Sat Sep 09 – Miami, FL – Miami-Dade Arena
Wed Sep 13 – Houston, TX – Toyota Center
Mon Sep 18 – Dallas, TX – American Airlines Center
Thu Sep 21 – Austin, TX – Moody Center ATX
Wed Sep 27 – Los Angeles, CA – Crypto.com Arena
Wed Oct 04 – San Francisco, CA – Chase Center
Sat Oct 07 – Las Vegas, NV – T-Mobile Arena

Europe dates are as follows:
Sat Oct 14 – London, UK – The O2
Sat Oct 21 – Antwerp, BE – Sportpaleis
Wed. Oct. 25 – Copenhagen, DK – Royal Arena
Sat Oct 28 – Stockholm, SE – Tele2
Wed Nov 01 – Barcelona, ES – Palau Sant Jordi
Mon Nov 06 – Lisbon, PT – Altice Arena
Sun Nov 12 – Paris, FR – Accor Arena
Mon Nov 13 – Paris, FR – Accor Arena
Wed Nov 15 – Cologne, DE – Lanxess Arena
Thu Nov 23 – Milan, IT – Mediolanum Forum
Tue Nov 28 – Berlin, DE – Mercedes-Benz Arena
Fri Dec 1 – Amsterdam, NL – Ziggo Dome

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Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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