The CultureMap Interview

With Houston beckoning, Kathy Griffin dishes on Gaga celebrity, Beyoncé's weave,her Shipley's addiction & morning sickness

Kathy Griffin is speeding toward Houston.
Erin Wigger
Griffin isn't backing down on Beyoncé.
KG says Hilary Duff is too old to old go under the knife.
Is Kathy Levi's baby mama?

Despite her harried schedule as a bonafide D-Listceleb, Kathy Griffin took a few moments in between hair and makeup of a commercial shoot to answer CultureMap's burning questions.

Griffin wouldn't get on the phone (an A-Lister attitude?), but she did respond via e-mail (in her unmistakable Kathy Griffin tone). Griffin, who's heading to Houston for two shows Saturday night at the Verizon Wireless Theater, offered her two cents on everything from Houston icons to future TV dreams.

In the process, she revealed that she's not afraid to support the troops or shamelessly plug her Bayou City appearance.

CultureMap: How big will you be making your hair to compete with Texas women?

Kathy Griffin: The higher the hair, the closer to God I am, and unfortunately because of how much fun I have with all religious groups, I might as well wear a beehive.

CM: Last week, Lady Gaga stayed at the St. Regis. Where can the paparazzi plan to take embarrassing photos of you?

KG: I will just drive to their homes personally. May I please have their addresses? Oh, and I will be with Mel Gibson.

CM: What surprises do you have planned for the performance?

KG: I honestly never know exactly what material I am going to do until I am on stage, especially in a city like Houston. You guys know you're crazy, right? Who knows what run-in I'll have had with a handsome single vagrant at Shipley's that day.

CM: You got a lot of flack for "outing" Lance Bass. We loved it — who's next?

KG: Jeb Bush, still want to come to the show now? Because it's going to be that kind of night. Oh, and I think some kid named Adam Lambert might be gay.

CM: You mention in your act that Beyoncé lip-syncs during performances. Will there be a showdown while you're in her hometown?

KG: I lip-sync also. I'm breaking new ground: I'm just going to stand on stage while a tape of my drunken mother, Maggie, swears and I move my lips. But you should know if there ever was a showdown between Beyoncé and Maggie, I think we know Beyoncé's weave would be in Maggie's 90-year-old hands. Sorry, B!

CM: Native Houstonian Hilary Duff is slated to get some work done before her wedding. What are your thoughts?

KG: First of all, isn't Hilary Duff 22 years old? She is WAY too old to start getting plastic surgery. Honestly, she should have started thinking about this when she was 4 or 5. You Texans don't act like you don't know the kiddie pageant circle. By the way, we WILL be discussing Toddlers & Tiaras.

CM: What do you make of the Levi/Bristol breakup? Will you move in for the kill?

KG: I know that it hasn't been confirmed that Levi has in fact impregnated another young woman, but I can tell you this: I've been nauseous every morning and I definitely feel kicking. See you in the White House.

CM: Besides your personal reality TV show, what would be your dream TV appearance?

KG: I would like to be on the local Houston evening news holding an Emmy playing the character of Kathy Griffin Emmy Award Winner and Star of Kathy Griffin My Life On the D-List. Or brain cell #3 on Criminal Minds.

CM: Any plans for a gay military documentary film? We think it screams, "Oscar."

KG: After having performed for the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan both on and off camera, there should be documentaries about every aspect of how incredibly brave and difficult the service is that we benefit from our brave men and women in the armed forces, gay or straight.

CM: The Daily Beast did not include Houston in their recently-released list of Top 20 Gayest Cities. What can Houston do to make the city gayer?

KG: Let me tell you something: Sat. Aug. 7 at 6:30 p.m. and 9:30 pm. at the Verizon Wireless Theater is going to get you on that list next year.

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Movie Review

Action-packed Kraven the Hunter showcases gritty Marvel antihero

Photo by Jay Maidment

Aaron Taylor-Johnson in Kraven the Hunter.

One of the oddest things about the blockbuster era we live in is that while Disney owns the rights to the majority of Marvel comic book characters, Sony Pictures owns the rights to Spider-Man and any affiliated characters. Since they’re sharing Spider-Man himself with Disney, Sony has been trying to capitalize on those rights by making stand-alone films using niche characters that only comic book fanatics would know.

Having exhausted Venom and whiffed on attempts with Morbius and Madame Web, they’re trying again with Kraven the Hunter. Also known as Sergei Kravinoff, Kraven (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) is a self-styled vigilante who, as the film tells it, travels the world exacting vengeance on the truly bad people of the world. He’s the son of Nikolai (Russell Crowe), a hard-edged Russian oligarch, and brother to Dmitri (Fred Hechinger), who is relatively weak compared to the rest of his family.

The origin story has Kraven gaining his animal-like powers - including super-strength, speed, and jumping abilities - as a teenager from a mysterious serum given to him by a girl named Calypso (played as an adult by Ariana DeBose) after he was mauled by a lion. The two maintain a tenuous partnership as adults, with Calypso helping him hunt down other villains like Aleksei Sytsevich (Alessandro Nivola) and The Foreigner (Christopher Abbott).

Directed by J.C. Chandor and written by Richard Wenk, Art Marcum, and Matt Holloway, the film looks and feels enormously lazy, something made merely to hold on to potentially valuable intellectual property. Other than the tense family dynamic between the Kravinovs, little makes sense in the story. Kraven has an indecipherable moral code that has him going after poachers - because he’s part lion? - in addition to other high-powered criminals, with no clear goal except to … get back at his father?

The laziness extends to the action scenes, which feature Kraven being mostly impervious to any damage, whether it’s hand-to-hand combat, knives, or guns. The CGI-heavy scenes don’t even allow moviegoers to enjoy an R-rated bloody free-for-all, as all of the blood splatter is computer-generated, too. Since apparently one Spider-Man villain is not enough, three others make appearances with abilities that are under-explained and CGI that is poorly done.

That’s not even counting Calypso, another Spider-Man villain whose purpose in this film is nebulous at best. Her early connection with Kraven is so coincidental as to be laughable, and her continued reasons for helping him as an adult strain credulity as well. The only saving grace of her presence is that the filmmakers don’t try to shoehorn romance into the plot; perhaps they’re saving that for the (inevitable?) sequel.

Taylor-Johnson has had one of the most prolific-yet-anonymous careers in modern Hollywood, with appearances in big films like The Fall Guy, Bullet Train, and Tenet that have made very little impact. Even as the star here, he fails to hold your attention, with the story and visuals doing him no favors. DeBose has followed up her Oscar win for West Side Story with schlock like I.S.S., Argylle, and this, which doesn’t bode well for her career. At least Crowe gets to chew the scenery.

With a contractual inability to mention the name “Spider-Man,” movies like Kraven the Hunter exist in a weird area that forces filmmakers to make up stories for characters to which most people have no attachment. And just like Sony’s previous efforts, it is a very poor way to spend two hours in a movie theater; avoid at all costs.

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Kraven the Hunter opens in theaters on December 13.

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