The CultureMap Interview
With Houston beckoning, Kathy Griffin dishes on Gaga celebrity, Beyoncé's weave,her Shipley's addiction & morning sickness
Despite her harried schedule as a bonafide D-Listceleb, Kathy Griffin took a few moments in between hair and makeup of a commercial shoot to answer CultureMap's burning questions.
Griffin wouldn't get on the phone (an A-Lister attitude?), but she did respond via e-mail (in her unmistakable Kathy Griffin tone). Griffin, who's heading to Houston for two shows Saturday night at the Verizon Wireless Theater, offered her two cents on everything from Houston icons to future TV dreams.
In the process, she revealed that she's not afraid to support the troops or shamelessly plug her Bayou City appearance.
CultureMap: How big will you be making your hair to compete with Texas women?
Kathy Griffin: The higher the hair, the closer to God I am, and unfortunately because of how much fun I have with all religious groups, I might as well wear a beehive.
CM: Last week, Lady Gaga stayed at the St. Regis. Where can the paparazzi plan to take embarrassing photos of you?
KG: I will just drive to their homes personally. May I please have their addresses? Oh, and I will be with Mel Gibson.
CM: What surprises do you have planned for the performance?
KG: I honestly never know exactly what material I am going to do until I am on stage, especially in a city like Houston. You guys know you're crazy, right? Who knows what run-in I'll have had with a handsome single vagrant at Shipley's that day.
CM: You got a lot of flack for "outing" Lance Bass. We loved it — who's next?
KG: Jeb Bush, still want to come to the show now? Because it's going to be that kind of night. Oh, and I think some kid named Adam Lambert might be gay.
CM: You mention in your act that Beyoncé lip-syncs during performances. Will there be a showdown while you're in her hometown?
KG: I lip-sync also. I'm breaking new ground: I'm just going to stand on stage while a tape of my drunken mother, Maggie, swears and I move my lips. But you should know if there ever was a showdown between Beyoncé and Maggie, I think we know Beyoncé's weave would be in Maggie's 90-year-old hands. Sorry, B!
CM: Native Houstonian Hilary Duff is slated to get some work done before her wedding. What are your thoughts?
KG: First of all, isn't Hilary Duff 22 years old? She is WAY too old to start getting plastic surgery. Honestly, she should have started thinking about this when she was 4 or 5. You Texans don't act like you don't know the kiddie pageant circle. By the way, we WILL be discussing Toddlers & Tiaras.
CM: What do you make of the Levi/Bristol breakup? Will you move in for the kill?
KG: I know that it hasn't been confirmed that Levi has in fact impregnated another young woman, but I can tell you this: I've been nauseous every morning and I definitely feel kicking. See you in the White House.
CM: Besides your personal reality TV show, what would be your dream TV appearance?
KG: I would like to be on the local Houston evening news holding an Emmy playing the character of Kathy Griffin Emmy Award Winner and Star of Kathy Griffin My Life On the D-List. Or brain cell #3 on Criminal Minds.
CM: Any plans for a gay military documentary film? We think it screams, "Oscar."
KG: After having performed for the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan both on and off camera, there should be documentaries about every aspect of how incredibly brave and difficult the service is that we benefit from our brave men and women in the armed forces, gay or straight.
KG: Let me tell you something: Sat. Aug. 7 at 6:30 p.m. and 9:30 pm. at the Verizon Wireless Theater is going to get you on that list next year.