He has a brain!
Get over it: Birthday girl Jessica Simpson's new man is no Tony Romo
Yes, Jessica Simpson is dating another football player. Yes, she's spending her 30th birthday with him today, a year after Pro Bowl cad Tony Romo infamously dumped Simpson the day before her 29th birthday.
But that's where any similarities end.
For Eric Johnson — Simpson's new man — has a brain. Which immediately disqualifies him from any comparisons with the Dallas Cowboys' quarterback.
Romo, always the real airhead in the Simpson-Romo pairing, took Simpson to Cabo during the heart of the NFL playoffs. Johnson has taken Simpson to the Italian island of Capri for her 30th. Advantage, brain.
It's more than a little insulting to declare that Simpson has a type because she's turned to a "football player" again. Johnson was never as famous or close to as highly-compensated as Romo for his football skills (he was a bit NFL player and he hasn't played since 2007).
Johnson went to Yale. Romo went to Eastern Illinois University.
Johnson was an Academic All American. Romo probably knows where America is.
Johnson drives a Prius. Romo drives a souped-up Range Rover that Carrie Underwood may or may not have sung about carving her name into its leather seats in "Before He Cheats."
Johnson likes marriage (in fact, his divorce from his wife still isn't technically final as he enjoys that Italian romp with JSimp). Romo is the ultimate commitment phobe (Charlie Sheen's Two and a Half Men character in cleats).
Johnson isn't close to being rich (Simpson will be picking up most of the major-purchase checks in this union). Romo is in the midst of a six-year, $67.5 million contract.
Johnson is known as a reserved, modest guy. Romo would fit in at any frat house.
Yes, for better or for worse, Eric Johnson and Tony Romo could hardly be more different. It's time to give Simpson a break for dating another "football player." Especially, considering Johnson isn't in football anymore or much of a player. Simpson couldn't have gone much farther away from the Tony Romo-type with Eric Johnson.
As for Romo? Another man might be in a reflective mood today with one of his exes getting married at a Georgia Ritz (Carrie Underwood) and another celebrating her birthday across the ocean on the same day. But that would require a brain.
Tony Romo's probably just out playing golf.