Now that the mega star has checked out of her pricey Houston digs, it can be told that Madonna called the swank St. Regis Hotel home for the better part of the week during her Rebel Heart Tour.
Word is that she tucked into bed in the Presidential Suite, reserved another suite for her chef and kitchen and yet another for her exercise room. In all, her entourage took over a whopping 45 rooms.
Ms. Ciccone used the St. Regis not only as home base in Houston but also as her jumping off place for her concerts in San Antonio and Tulsa.
The only sign that a big name had checked into the five-star hotel was the unmarked tour bus hauling a black trailer parked out front. That generously sized trailer was said to carry Madonna's luggage. We're assuming that included her costumes.
(We know of only one other diva who travels with that much luggage and she lives here in Houston.)
Madonna's dancers, however, called the Four Seasons Hotel downtown home for those nights. And that's where make-up artist Edward Sanchez ran into the twentysomethings Wednesday night in the hotel bar. An instant friendship formed and the kids wanted to take a busman's holiday — go dancing. Sanchez led them to Tony's Corner Pocket where he left them rocking the night well after midnight.
The dancers were all wearing surgical masks. As explained to Sanchez, their contracts do not allow them to take selfies with fans. So when someone's in a photo, they slip on the surgical mask to hide their identity. Who knew?
When not lighting up the stage at Toyota Center, Madonna was bunking at the St. Regis Hotel.
Of all the formulaic movie genres, Christmas/holiday movies are among the most predictable. No matter what the problem is that arises between family members, friends, or potential romantic partners, the stories in holiday movies are designed to give viewers a feel-good ending even if the majority of the movie makes you feel pretty bad.
That’s certainly the case in Oh. What. Fun., in which Michelle Pfeiffer plays Claire, an underappreciated mom living in Houston with her inattentive husband, Nick (Denis Leary). As the film begins, her three children are arriving back home for Christmas: The high-strung Channing (Felicity Jones) is married to the milquetoast Doug (Jason Schwartzman); the aloof Taylor (Chloë Grace Moretz) brings home yet another new girlfriend; and the perpetual child Sammy (Dominic Sessa) has just broken up with his girlfriend.
Each of the family members seems to be oblivious to everything Claire does for them, especially when it comes to what she really wants: For them to nominate her to win a trip to see a talk show in L.A. hosted by Zazzy Tims (Eva Longoria). When she accidentally gets left behind on a planned outing to see a show, Claire reaches her breaking point and — in a kind of Home Alone in reverse — she decides to drive across the country to get to the show herself.
Written and directed by Michael Showalter (The Idea of You), and co-written by Chandler Baker (who wrote the short story on which the film is based), the movie never establishes any kind of enjoyable rhythm. Each of the characters, including competitive neighbor Jeanne (Joan Chen), is assigned a character trait that becomes their entire personality, with none of them allowed to evolve into something deeper.
The filmmakers lean hard into the idea that Claire is a person who always puts her family first and receives very little in return, but the evidence presented in the story is sketchy at best. Every situation shown in the film is so superficial that tension barely exists, and the (over)reactions by Claire give her family members few opportunities to make up for their failings.
The most interesting part of the movie comes when Claire actually makes it to the Zazzy Sims show. Even though what happens there is just as unbelievable as anything else presented in the story, Showalter and Baker concoct a scene that allows Claire and others to fully express the central theme of the film, and for a few minutes the movie actually lives up to its title.
Pfeiffer, given her first leading role since 2020’s French Exit, is a somewhat manic presence, and her thick Texas accent and unnecessary voiceover don’t do her any favors. It seems weird to have such a strong supporting cast with almost nothing of substance to do, but almost all of them are wasted, including Danielle Brooks in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo. The lone exception is Longoria, who is a blast in the few scenes she gets.
Oh. What. Fun. is far from the first movie to try and fail at becoming a new holiday classic, but the pedigree of Showalter and the cast make this dismal viewing experience extra disappointing. Ironically, overworked and underappreciated moms deserve a much better story than the one this movie delivers.
