Candace Burns grew up in Saginaw, Michigan. She graduated from Wichita State University. She worked at TV stations in Flint, Michigan and Richmond, Virginia before being named 4 pm anchor on KPRC Channel 2 last April.

So, this really is her first Rodeo.

That’s why Channel 2 is asking viewers to help Burns navigate her visits to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo this year.

The station website put out the help wanted sign: “What should KPRC 2’s Candace Burns do at her first ever Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo?”

• “Check out the livestock show and ask kids about 4H and FFA.”
• “Get fitted for a well made hat.”
• “Check out the cutting horse competition, see all the animals.”
• “Go to the petting zoo.”
• “Fried cheesecake is a must, plus the Ferris wheel.”

I watched Burns’s debut report from the Rodeo last week. She was all decked out like Annie Oakley and acting all newbie. I get it, the station is throwing the rookie to the wolves, or in this case, the bulls and horses.

It’s been done before. It happened to me. I’ve walked a mile in Candace Burns’s Tony Lama boots.

My first year in Houston, my newspaper editor had a brainstorm. That’s never a good sign.

Why not assign the new guy from New Jersey to cover the Rodeo, all 20 days of it, and write a column each day?

Let’s see how they can make this idea even worse, they called it “Moseying at the Rodeo with Ken Hoffman.” And would I wear a cowboy hat for the column photo?

That’s where I drew the line. I didn’t have a cowboy hat or boots then and still don’t. Nothing is funnier than watching our local news reporters, especially the ones from New York or Chicago … or Saginaw, Michigan, dress up like Sheriff Woody on the 6 pm news.

I don’t mosey, either. I don’t even saunter or amble. But I knew enough to pick my fights, so I was okay with “Moseyin’ with Ken.”

Burns needs tips on what to do at the Rodeo? All I can tell you is what I did. I showed up each day around noon and grabbed a workspace next to Helmut’s Strudel stand outside the Rodeo press room. I ate 20 cherry strudels that Rodeo.

I like everything about the Rodeo — the Carnival games of chance (mostly you have no chance), the rides, the corn dogs, the deep-fried, chocolate-covered cinnamon buns, the burgers and garlic fries at Biggy’s booth on the midway, the exhibition hall with Vitamix and carpet sweeper demonstrations, the music acts, the petting zoo, the livestock shows, the auctions...

Everything except the actual rodeo. I can’t watch grown men pick up baby calves, slam them to the ground, and tie them up. Yet I like professional wrestling, which is pretty much the same thing. Rodeo clowns ain’t funny, by the way.

I caught up with a trail riding group that year. I slept in my car that night. Sadly, that wasn’t my first rodeo sleeping in my car.

Twenty columns in 20 days. I wrote one about how they pour the batter for funnel cakes. First you go around the perimeter, then crisscross back and forth until you can’t see the bottom of the frying pan. Funnel cakes are delicious. Bulletin: they’re not health food.

One time I mentioned that the Grand Champion Turkey sold for something like $100,000. I was going to write “that’s still cheaper than Cleburne Cafeteria,” but I chickened out on the turkey line. Love the chicken and dumplings at Cleburne.

I wrote a column about “beauty tips for cows” after watching a young cowgirl apply powder and blow dry her contest entry.

I asked the person in charge of the Carnival contests for tips on how to win a stuffed animal. The trick to making the basketball shot is to shoot softly and aim high. It’s not easy since they over-inflate the balls. I think they fill the balls with helium. The hoops are super tight so you can’t score a rim-rattler. Bottom line, you’re probably better off going to Target, buying a stuffed animal, and just say you won it.

I was determined not to write a column about what went inside the Astrodome (back then) but I caved on the last day and did a Q&A with country singer Anne Murray. She started out as a gym teacher if I recall.