Trendysomething in Somo

Rick Perry, socialite spaniels & Speedos: Things that touched me in 2010.Literally.

Can't touch this? Oh, I did.
Photo by Steven Thomson
Aren't they adorable?
Photo by Steven Thomson
Couachella left me writhing in ecstasy.
Photo by Jessica Toy
Ouch.
Photo by Steven Thomson
Coming under attack by a steady stream of knit balls was not my happiest momentof 2010, but no doubt, those balls touched me.
Rachel Zoe's epic misuse of the term "literally" was so memorable, that Icouldn't leave it out of a year-end list

When it was suggested that I make a list of things that touched me in 2010, it wasn't a huge conceptual leap to start thinking physically. And so I have scoured my remaining brain cells to compile this list of things that literally touched my person over the past 12 months.

Rick Perry

It was National Day of Prayer, so something naughty was bound to happen. Enter Rick Perry. After addressing the afternoon crowd at City Hall, Perry called for a massive prayer for his family before descending into the crowd and aimlessly grabbing the hands of those nearby with his eyes closed. In my attempts to get as close of a photo as possible, I fell into the crossfire, and soon found my hand entwined with our Governor for Life.

Did I get an erection? No.

Was Rick's hand equally sumptuous, ruddy and beautifully maintained? Yes.

The Rose Puppies

The spawn of Charlie Williston O'Connell Yarborough and Shayna Rose consisted of three glorious, well-bred puppies (one of which, Julio Esteban Rodriguez, was named after me). Toting the too-cute-not-to-touch Julio to the Hotel Derek Howl-O-Ween party was indeed the apex of the social season.

#fellatioclock

2010 was the year in which I mastered Twitter and its accompanying brilliant hash tags. This one is self-explanatory.

Fiskars scissors

This was quite the debacle, in which I brought blunt, child-proof, hot-pink-rimmed scissors into the shower . . . and attempted manscaping. Of all of the things that touched me in 2010, this perhaps has left the most indelible impression (although there's surprisingly no scarring).

Hacky Sacks

Coming under attack by a steady stream of knit balls was not my happiest moment of 2010, but no doubt, those balls touched me. I wasn't invited to join the cast of Burn the Floor for future editions of their pre-performance hacky sack tradition, but I came away with a reaffirmed dislike for athletics.

David Sedaris

There was a time when I would have given anything to spend some quality time with the humorist David Sedaris, but after two rounds of shameless flirtation on his part, it was time to whip out the sanitizer and find a new literary hero. Send CVs to steven@culturemap.com.

M2M Salesboy

I needed an appropriately skimpy pair of swim trunks to wear to the pool at Hotel ZaZa, and so in July, I headed to the tight-fitting clothing emporium on Montrose Boulevard. It wasn't long before I was in a dressing room being told by an employee with a tropical accent that I had a commendable posterior and "could fit into a size small except that . . . "

Ecstasy Hands

I don't know of a better term for the dancers at Coachella concerts who are hired to wave their hands before the faces of house music and ecstasy fans. At times these professionals wore gloves covered in fur, making for a slightly disturbing extrasensory experience. I admit that I wasn't "rolling" (snicker), but I was still DTC.

HIV Test

The new Planned Parenthood facility got the Zagat treatment (and I passed with flying colors). I was only touched by a tiny needle that took a tiny drop of blood, but when I got the results, I felt touched by an angel.

Rachel Zoe

OK, she didn't touch me, nor have I ever met her. But Rachel Zoe's epic misuse of the term "literally" was so memorable, that I couldn't leave it out of a year-end list. Best of all, she inspired this column's strict adherence to things that have, literally, touched me. Or at least literally left me feeling "like a cow about to moo."

Editor's note: This is the 10th in a series of articles CultureMap will be running this last week of 2010 on The Year in Culture. The stories in this series will focus on a key point or two, something that struck our reporting team about the year rather than rote Top 10 lists or bests of.

Thanks, Queen Bey

Pop icon Beyoncé donates $100,000 to University of Houston Law School

Photo by Erza Shaw Getty Images

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Pop megastar Beyoncé Knowles-Carter has donated $100,000 to the University of Houston Law Center Criminal Justice Clinic through her BeyGOOD Foundation. The gift will allow the clinic to hire fill-time faculty to head it, benefiting the students who study there.

“I am delighted that the BeyGOOD Foundation has made this very generous gift to the UH Law Center,” said Leonard Baynes, dean of the UH Law Center. “Not only will this funding help establish a full-time criminal justice clinic that provides pro bono legal services in our community, but it will also supercharge our already excellent criminal law and justice programming.”

The clinic is one of nine at UHLC. It helps students learn to navigate the criminal justice system, especially on behalf of clients that are underserved by skilled attorneys. People of color are affected disproportionately by a lack of good, ethical representation.

Beyoncé, the most decorated artist in Grammy history and easily the biggest musical star native to Houston, has a long history of advocating for criminal justice reform. She was a staunch supporter of the police reform following the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile, asking law enforcement to “stop killing us” in a web post. In 2020, she penned an open letter to the Kentucky attorney general asking for justice in the death of Breonna Taylor.

Through her BeyGOOD Foundation, established in 2013, Beyoncé has focused mostly on expanding the prospects of Black-owned business and offering education opportunities to students. Forwarding the cause of legal representation in Texas while also helping out marginalized communities compliments her other philanthropic work.

“At UH Law, we envision a legal profession where ‘everyone has the opportunity to prosper,’ as BeyGOOD envisions, and we will achieve this vision by providing access to strong and effective legal representation in criminal proceedings,” Baynes said. “And together, through this gift, the BeyGOOD Foundation and UHLC will shepherd the next generation of criminal justice attorneys in the city of Houston, the state of Texas and the nation.”