Here's the Pethouse Pet of the Week, and other random thoughts ranging from women's basketball star Diana Taurasi to Ringo Starr and a new deliciously-gooey and spicy burger at Fuddruckers.
Pethouse Pet of the Week
Name: Charlie, as in Chaplin, Brown, and Pallilo. Not quite sure who that last one is, though. Had to look it up.
Birthdate: May 2, 2015, just entering my salad years, but please do NOT ever feed me salad. Yuck.
Ethnicity: If you squint your eyes, I’m a pedigree poodle. Open wide, and I’m a mixed. We’re better, stronger breeds, you know, us mutts. I weigh 20 pounds, fully grown, soaking wet. But keep me dry, nobody likes smelling a wet dog.
Come and get me: I'm available for adoption immediately at Citizens for Animal Protection (17555 Katy Freeway; 281-497-0591).
Here’s the thing about whether John McEnroe was right or wrong when he refused to say that Serena Williams is the greatest tennis player, man or woman, of all time. Diana Taurasi recently became the top scorer in women’s pro basketball history. I’d like to see an NPR reporter ask Michael Jordan if Taurasi is the greatest basketball player, man or woman, of all time.
The day after Joey Chestnut broke the record at Nathan's Famous July 4th Hot Dog Eating Contest, by eating 72 hot dogs in 10 minutes, a panel of ESPN “sports experts” was asked, “Is Joey Chestnut an athlete?” They all laughed and said “NO!!!” Laugh it up boys, and next time ESPN has to fire 100 more people because people aren’t watching anymore, I hope you’re not caught in the layoffs.
Joey Chestnut is more of an athlete than half of the golfers, 75 percent of the bowlers, and 100 percent of the spelling bee contestants that ESPN slobbers over each year.
You say it’s your birthday
Ringo Starr is 77 today. The Beatles drummer (he will always be that) is coming to Smart Financial Centre at Sugar Land on November 2.
And now the bad news
My favorite thing about flying (it happened to me twice this week): The plane lands, pilot brags that we’ve arrived ahead of schedule, and then apologizes because our gate is occupied. And we just sit on the tarmac. I absolutely refuse to believe that there isn’t an empty gate somewhere at the airport. A little flexibility and creativity, okay?
Drink up, mon
That catchy song, "You Can Get It If You Really Want," in the new Corona Beer commercial is an original recording by Jamaican reggae artist Desmond Dekker. His big hit was “Israelites” in 1969.
Fuddruckers has a new winner: The Sriracha Pimento Cheese and Bacon Burger. It’s spicy and cheesey and bacony. You can’t go wrong with that triple threat.
Hot on the heels of judging the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island, I’ve landed another judging gig, the Heights Great American Pie Contest, 6:30 pm Monday at the Heights Fire Station. Other judges: Cleverly Stone, Ken Bridge, Levi Rollins, and restaurateur Lee Ellis. Free to come watch, and like George Jefferson of '70s/'80s hit TV show The Jeffersons, everybody gets a piece of the pie.
Ken Hoffman's adoptable Pethouse Pet of the Week runs every Friday on CultureMap. Ken can be reached at email@example.com or on Facebook. To have all CultureMap stories, including Ken's columns, delivered to your inbox in one Daily Digest every morning, sign up here.