Jesus walks the Guadalupe River, tossing Dos Equis
Don't worry, folks — the second coming, as it turns out, is not all fire and brimstone; it's inner tubes and Mexican beer.
Of course, it wasn't actually Jesus (I don't think ...) and his miraculous feat was really just an exceptionally shallow spot, but I was inspired all the same. We made eye contact, and I felt compelled to cross myself. Christ gave me a solemn bow and blessing-like gesture in return and, later, tossed me a Dos Equis.
The beer sealed the deal, as they often do. An earlier vision had made me question myself and my sanity — a half naked man in a tutu, swinging through the trees and into the river. (Remember the undergarment contraption Zach Galifianakis wore in The Hangover? It was like that, but with a tutu/apron front.)
I was glad to find that I had, at least, not hallucinated the Messiah. It's never advised on a float trip.
But tell me — did anybody else see the naked ballerina??