Celeb Spotting
Jesus walks the Guadalupe River, tossing Dos Equis
My disposable camera didn't survive the Guadalupe, but this doppelganger ispretty close
Although my messiah wasn't actually walking on water, he certainly looked it
Don't worry, folks — the second coming, as it turns out, is not all fire and brimstone; it's inner tubes and Mexican beer.
I was in Austin last weekend and spent Saturday floating the Guadalupe River. I was down the second horseshoe of the day (and a considerable helping of Franzia) when I saw ... Jesus walking on water.
Of course, it wasn't actually Jesus (I don't think ...) and his miraculous feat was really just an exceptionally shallow spot, but I was inspired all the same. We made eye contact, and I felt compelled to cross myself. Christ gave me a solemn bow and blessing-like gesture in return and, later, tossed me a Dos Equis.
The beer sealed the deal, as they often do. An earlier vision had made me question myself and my sanity — a half naked man in a tutu, swinging through the trees and into the river. (Remember the undergarment contraption Zach Galifianakis wore in The Hangover? It was like that, but with a tutu/apron front.)
I was glad to find that I had, at least, not hallucinated the Messiah. It's never advised on a float trip.
But tell me — did anybody else see the naked ballerina??
