Pet of the Week
Name: Hunter, as in former Astros outfielder, Hunter Pence; author gonzo, Hunter S. Thompson; political lightning rods, Hunter Biden and Rielle Hunter; long-ago heartthrob Tab Hunter; and one of Rod Stewart's wives, Rachel Hunter.
Birthdate: March 21, 2019. I'm turning one. The traditional gift for a first birthday in dog world is not paper — I'm house-trained. The best gift would be … come adopt me!
Ethnicity: I'm a combo platter of ("Hey") bulldog (the Beatles at their rocking best) and Vizsla (worth 3,000 points in Scrabble). I'm a solid fella, tipping the scales at a nifty 63 pounds. I'm fully grown so I shouldn't get any solider. Here's my dealio: I have lots of puppy energy. I'm used to having the run of the house, so please don't even think of keeping me outdoors all the time. (I never understand dog owners who keep their pets outside.)
I get along with other dogs, but only the ladies. I'm a terrific watchdog and I'm protective of my family and house. I am very affectionate and love hanging out on the couch, preferably next to you. Don't worry, I'll let you hold the remote.
Come and get me: As you know, the Citizens for Animal Protection shelter on I-10 is closed during the coronavirus disaster, but they've made special plans for me. Yes, I'm "the one" they've picked for Pet of the Week. If you're interested in adopting me, send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org, and they'll make arrangements for you to come meet me — you know, like speed dating.
So, let's get this show on the road. I'm a wonderful, loving pet. I'll do you right.
Just one more thing: ESPN is airing the semifinals and finals of its disastrous HORSE tournament on April 16. It's not cheating, but one player has a distinct advantage: WNBA long-distance shooter Allie Quigley. While the other players are shooting at expensive, built-in backboards, Quigley is shooting at a portable hoop that looks like it came from the discount aisle at Academy. The backboard moves when she attempts a bank shot, which she does a lot, so the ball has a better chance of going through the hoop. It's really an advantage, approaching unfair.
So, if you're a wagering kind of person, you might want to think about Allie Quigley as the HORSE champion.
Meet the lovable pets at Citizens for Animal Protection online.