Whatever happened to Baby Jane?
Let's hope he doesn't go to Auburn: Meet Crimson Tide Redd
A name says so much about a person. Why did Ricky Bobby name his sons Walker and Texas Ranger in Talladega Nights? Because he wanted them to kick some ass.
As his wife says, "If we wanted us some wussies, we would have named 'em Doctor Quinn and Medicine Woman."
After all, celebrities have long given their offspring monikers chosen from colors, fruit, comic books, Bob Dylan lyrics and other fascinations — like Apple and Moses (Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin), Fuchsia (Sting), Pilot Inspektor (Jason Lee), Kal-El (Nicolas Cage), and Audio Science (Shannyn Sossamon).
So it should come as no surprise that the ultimate expression of University of Alabama fandom is naming your son Crimson Tide. Crimson Tide Redd to be exact, a phrase I bet the Home Depot paint departments in Alabama hear a lot.
When it comes to passing on your hobbies, interests and eccentricities to the next generation, there's no more direct route than simply putting them on their birth certificate. One of my friends, a long-time employee of an American history magazine, is currently attempting to convince her husband to let her name their child after a former president or first lady. (I'm rooting for James Buchanan or Dolley Madison.) Another former co-worker (and hardcore University of Texas fan) was planning to name his son Vince, and after the Longhorns 2005 national championship was tempted to make the middle name Young.
Unfortunately (for the UT nation), his wife put the kibosh on that one.
Of course, pick a name that's too weird and someone might have to step in. That's what happened in New Zealand, when someone named their offspring Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii, making the nine-year-old girl a ward of the court in order to change her "embarrassing" name.
Closer to home, a trio of children in New Jersey named after Nazi figures earned media attention last year after a bakery refused to write the name of one, Adolf Hitler Campbell, on a birthday cake. Adolf and his siblings JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell, and were later removed from the custody of their parents, though the names were not specifically cited as the reason.
Compared to those disastrous monikers, little Crimson Tide Redd should do just fine. Unless he decides to attend Ole Miss, that is.