Name: Bandit, as in the Burt Reynolds character in Smokey and the Bandit. Fun fact: Bandit's actual name in the movie is Bo Darville.
Birthdate: January 26, 2019. I just turned the page on my puppy year. Thanks for the birthday gift, by the way. Next year, okay?
Ethnicity: I'm a Catahoula Leopard and retriever mix. In case you're wondering, I've never heard of Catahoula Leopard, either. (I'm just hoping it's a dog that we're talking about.) Anyway, I'm friendly and house-trained, and neutered and healthy, which makes me pretty close to the perfect companion.
I'm a big boy, 69 pounds, but I'm not going to grow any larger. I'm a pro at walking on a leash, but please don't introduce me to other dogs when I'm on a leash. That goes for all dogs everywhere. It's just a bad idea and unfair to dogs. Since I'm a plus size pooch, maybe children 10 and older would be best in my new home.
If you listen real closely, you can hear everybody in the shelter gushing over my beautiful eyes. I'm a looker, who's kidding who?
Now let me vent. I need new friends. A while back, I was supposed to meet a couple of buddies for breakfast at 10 am. I overslept and woke up at 9:50. I jumped out of bed, brushed all of my teeth, hopped in the shower and washed the outside of my body, and was in my car by 9:58. We guys are fast when need be. I got the breakfast place at 10:05 … and still beat my friends by 15 minutes. My friends are the worst.
And now for a political comment. I know this is the last place you expect — or want — to hear anything political. But I was reading a profile about Democratic candidate Pete Buttigieg. Under "Favorite Beatles song (I know, what difference does that make?) he wrote "Come Together." Hey, that's my favorite Beatles song, too! I'm still undecided who I'm voting for, and favorite Beatles song isn't in the Top 10,000 of things I care about in a candidate.
Come and get me: I'm available for adoption at 11 am Friday, February 7, at Citizens for Animal Protection (17555 Katy Freeway; 281-497-0591). Tell them, "Ken sent me."
Dog lover? Ken Hoffman introduces you to an adorable pup available for adoption in Houston every Thursday.