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    Gimme a 'Z'

    10 questions for Lance Zierlein as he's back home on sports talk radio with John Granato

    Ken Hoffman
    Nov 27, 2017 | 7:09 am
    John Granato, Lance Zierlein
    Lance Zierlein, right, has teamed up again with John Granato, left, for a weekday sports talk radio show.
    Courtesy photo

    Thomas Wolfe was wrong – you can go home again.

     

    For Lance Zierlein, home is on the radio with longtime co-hosting partner John Granato, and their reunion takes place this morning (November 27) on sports talk stations ESPN97.5 FM and SportsMap 94.1 FM.

     

    Zierlein and Granato previously teamed with ratings success from 1997 to 2007 on KILT 610 AM, and from 2007 to 2011 on KGOW 1560 AM. Zierlein worked with a revolving door of co-hosts on KBME 790 AM between 2011 and 2017.

     

    Zierlein is best known for his pro football insights, backyard cooking exploits and outlandish parody characters like “SEC Guy,” “Coach Slocum on a Mobile,” and “Tony ‘The Hatchet Man’ Valentine.” He also provides college draft analysis for the NFL Network, writes a blog, does a podcast and chases five kids at home. What does he do in his spare time? Trick question, he has no spare time.

     

    Zierlein and Granato will host “The Bench” weekdays from 7-9 am on 97.5 FM. They will be joined by Raheel Ramzanali from 9-10 am, simulcast on 97.5 FM and 94.1 FM.

     

    I caught up with Zierlein last week for 10 fast Q’s and A’s.
     
     1. What exactly is it about the John and Lance pairing that clicks?

     

     Lance Zierlein: That's an interesting one because I never quite found that click my entire time at 790. I think part of it is because when we got started, John and I were idealistic and more fun-oriented than radio-oriented. We didn't do a show that sounded like it was constructed at a broadcasting school. Because of this lack of standard format, we were able to be ourselves and just do what felt like fun.
     
     2. Do you listen to sports talk radio?

     

     LZ: Not really. Not anymore. Now I will occasionally tune in if there is a big event happening. But I find most shows to be lacking energy and somewhat boring. It's probably not a fair assessment since the only time I listen is when I'm in my car, and that isn't for very long on most days.
     
     3. Do your kids think it's cool that Dad is on radio? Do they want you to come to Career Day at school?
     
     LZ: They love that I'm on radio and were pretty angry at me for leaving 790, but mostly it was because the station had a pool table and video games. As for Career Day, my kids tested into a school with very bright kids who have accomplishment-driven parents and a love for things other than sports. I'm sure I would be dead in the water as soon as one of them hit me with "So all you do is talk? That's it?"
     
     4. You've gained a reputation as a foodie. If you were sentenced to die in prison — and let’s face it, that’s only a matter of time — what would be your last meal?
     
     LZ: I would ask Seth and Terrance from Pass & Provisions to create a 40-course taste menu and drag that thing out as long as possible.
     
     5. Sports and politics have become intertwined like never before. Good thing or bad?

     

     LZ: Up to this point, I would say it hasn't been great. We've seen it happen in various instances in the past, and those instances became iconic and meaningful. However, I worry that politics is much less civil than it's ever been, and the idea that good will come from this rather than more divisiveness seems unlikely. I understand why the platform is important but it just seems like the addition of social media has turned sports and politics into a powder keg.

     

     6. Is there a trick to guaranteeing you’ll get hot French fries at McDonald’s?

     

     LZ: This may just be a myth that I learned from a next-door neighbor in Pecan Grove growing up (I think that's who it was), but he said to order them with no salt. That way they have to make a fresh batch.
     
     7. Give me your five favorite albums of all time.

     

     LZ: My favorite music is usually directly to memorable times, so they vary based on what I was doing at that time and what my mood was. Also worth noting, with everything going digital, I rarely get entire albums these days, just songs I like. So, in no order —Straight Outta Compton by NWA, Fly or Die by N.E.R.D., Ego Death by The Internet, Urban Flora by Alina Baraz, and Chet Baker's Greatest Hits by Chet Baker.
     
     8. Describe the photos you had on your bedroom wall when you were a kid.

     

     LZ: There was one of Michael Jackson in a sweet yellow vest with white pants and a white shirt. This was Michael with the early curl. I think he was between Off the Wall and Thriller in this poster. Other than that, I had a two Phi Slamma Jamma posters, a Magic Johnson poster, a football poster called "Speedsters" with a bunch of receivers on it, a Clyde Drexler poster and I think an Isaiah Thomas poster for some unknown reason. I didn't even like him.
     
     9. Who was the best guest you ever had on the air … and the worst? Describe an interview that went off the tracks.

     

     LZ: The best guest was when we had comedian Patrice O'Neal on location at Nick's Place while at 1560 AM. He was a huge sports fan and we talked about him growing up as a black Celtics fan. We talked about what was going on with LeBron James at the time. We talked about football, about comedy, about relationships. It was very organic and fantastic radio in my opinion. I've listened to it several times since then and still think it's great. Unfortunately, Patrice passed away a couple of years ago.

     

    The worst interview we had was at 610 AM, when ESPN first started its magazine. They asked if we wanted to have a college football writer on and we said yes. We started asking him about Big 12 teams like Texas and Texas A&M (who were not powerhouses at that time) and he didn't know anything about them. We kept him on for maybe four minutes before letting him go.

     

    As for off the rails, we had comedian Tracy Morgan in studio to promote his show and we never had any control at any point. It was literally 20 minutes of stream of consciousness, with Tracy talking about dice games between super heroes, child support, bar fights and getting people at our office pregnant.

     

     10. Why do you think it's so difficult for an offensive lineman to switch from right guard to left guard? I realize that the positions are totally different. In one, you have to block the guy in front of you, and in the other, you have to block the guy in front of you. No wonder nobody's ever really made a successful transition.
     
     LZ: Well, the guard switch isn't so hard, Ken, but the tackle switch sure can be. When you are used to kick sliding with your right foot for years, it’s like writing right-handed. There is muscle memory involved. Do you just expect a righthander to be able to suddenly write lefthanded? Obviously not.

     
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    game, set, zina.

    Best of Ken Hoffman: Interviewing Houston's greatest tennis icon

    Ken Hoffman
    Aug 29, 2024 | 12:30 pm
    Zina Garrison, tennis player
    ITATennis
    Garrison, a tennis legend, is now the tennis director of Houston Parks and Recreation.

    Editor's note: After the sudden death of beloved columnist Ken Hoffman on July 14, CultureMap is republishing some of our favorite "Hoffman's Houston" columns. In honor of the U.S. Open, here's Ken's interview with Houston tennis legend Zina Garrison; it was originally published on June 27, 2022.

    As a child, Zina Garrison learned how to hit a tennis ball on the public courts at MacGregor Park during the 1970s and became, simply, the most accomplished player ever from Houston.

     

    She developed into a Grand Slam champion, a Top 5 ranking in the world, Wimbledon finalist in 1990 with 20 tournament titles, Federation Cup captain, and Olympic gold medal winner and later Olympic coach.

     

    Now Garrison is back where she started, only this time she’s devoted to making Houston a great place to learn and play tennis … again. Like she did.

     

    “I am now the tennis director of Houston Parks and Recreation,” Garrison tells me. “I’m over all the public tennis programs and facilities. The job came open recently and I applied for it.”

     

    Wait... she’s the greatest champion this city has ever produced — and she had to apply for that job?

     

    “To be honest, I was more interested in the benefits than the money. As you get older, you start thinking differently,” she shares.

     

    Unlike the major sports leagues in America, tennis doesn’t provide any healthcare insurance or assistance once a player, even a legend, retires.

     

    “They’re working on it,” Garrison, 58, notes. “But as of now, nothing.”

     

    Garrison said her first priority as Houston’s tennis director is to repair the public courts.

     

    “I want to bring the public tennis facilities up to where I’d be proud, where everybody would be proud, to bring people to use our courts. There are cracks in the courts. Nothing’s really been done in the last 20 or maybe 30 years,” she says.

     

    “I’ve traveled to Florida and some other places and they have really nice public courts. Tennis in Houston was really thriving for a while and we had nice courts and people could play in the parks. We had junior programs. We flourished. That’s my main goal.”

     

    While I had Garrison on the phone, I served up some questions:

     

     CultureMap: Wimbledon is on. You’re familiar with that tournament, right? Who are your picks to win the men’s side and women’s side?

     

     Zina Garrison: Yes, I’m familiar with Wimbledon. I have my alarm set for the early morning so I can watch. I have a weird pick, a more personal pick, for the men.

     

    I would love to see Rafael Nadal keep going on, but it’s going to be tough for him. The guy from Italy, Matteo Berrettini, I watched him play a couple of weeks ago and I think he’s going to surprise a lot of people. And I am absolutely in love with that little guy, Carlos Alcaraz, from Spain. He’s made me watch tennis again.

     

    On the women’s side, I don’t think it will be Iga Swiatek. I think it’s just too hard to keep a streak like hers (35 matches in a row including the French Open title) going in today’s game. It’s really wide open. I don’t really have a pick, it’s just who comes in and plays well at the right time.

     

     CM: What do you think about Natela Dzalamidze, the doubles player from Russian who switched her nationality to Georgia so she could play Wimbledon, which has banned players from Russian and Belarus this year?

     

     ZG: I don’t like that she was able to do that. I was just on the phone with (former pro turned broadcaster) Chanda Rubin talking about what’s going on in tennis these days.

     

    First of all, there is the human rights stuff that’s going on in Russia and Ukraine. We have to start forcing accountability for actions. A lot of people didn’t agree with what Wimbledon did, but I think they had to take a stand.

     

     CM: The women’s GOAT is easy — it’s Serena. But who do you think is the men’s GOAT?

     

     ZG: Wow, that’s a hard one. If you had asked me earlier this year, I would have said Roger Federer because of everything he’s accomplished. But right now I’m going to have to go with Nadal. Nadal has taken tennis to a whole ‘nother level, of getting people to watch, coming out of the pandemic, where he has matches and you think he can’t come back and he’s still grinding no matter what.

     

    For me, he is the epitome of what we need in this world right now: Never give up but not be selfish about helping others. I know it sounds clichéd, but that’s what I’m going through right now.

     

     CM: When I first met you, you were painfully shy. It was hard to get an answer out of you. Now you’re a TV commentator and a regular chatterbox. What happened?

     

     ZG: I was an introvert but I had always been intrigued by people of wisdom. A lot of it came as I developed confidence in myself. I had always been told at a very young age, if you really knew me, I spoke a lot. If you didn’t know me, I would be quiet. I would only speak about things that I was extremely passionate about.

     

    As I’ve gotten older, because of my experiences. I feel like I can help people so I’m not afraid to say what I want to say.

     

     CM: Starting the week after Wimbledon, coaches will be allowed to communicate with men players during matches. Up to now, that’s only been allowed in the women’s game. Every other sport allows coaching. Do you think tennis should allow coaching, too?

     

     ZG: I don’t think coaching should be allowed. That’s one of the great things about tennis. That’s a part of the sport, that you grow and figure things out. You learn to think for yourself.

     

    There’s always been little signals from coaches, but now you have these full blown conversations. Another bad thing about allowing coaching is it gives the players the opportunity to blame a loss their coach. That’s not good for the sport.

     

     CM: You were known for wiggling your butt when receiving serve. Did you know you were doing it? Did you do that on purpose?

     

     ZG: It started off as kind of a joke with my coaches. They said, we need you to move your feet. I said, you mean like this?

     

    So, it started as a joke but I realized that it helped get my feet moving: Okay, I’m going to keep doing this.

     

    I’ll never forget that year after I got to the Wimbledon finals, 1990, I went over to Japan and there were 1,200 people there … and all of them started wiggling!

     

     CM: What was the first extravagant thing you bought for yourself when the tennis prize money started rolling in?

     

     ZG: It was 1982, and I bought a candy apple red Volkswagen convertible with a white top.

     

     CM: You were on the Biggest Loser, the show where contestants compete against each other to lose weight. Let’s just say you didn’t win. Are you happy you went on that show, or do you regret it?

     

     ZG: I was one of the first who had to leave the competition. (No, you were THE first.) It was an experience, but I probably shouldn’t have done it. I think I regret going on there. It wasn’t what I thought it was.

     

    It was reality TV and at the time I didn’t know what reality TV was .I was more ready to get out of there than anything else.

     

     CM: Now here’s the big question, Zina. For years, I’ve had a running disagreement with ESPN 97.5 FM morning host John Granato about which is a more demanding, tougher sport – golf or tennis?

     

     Granato says it’s golf, because the tournament winner has to beat every other player that week, while in tennis the winner just has to beat seven players at most. And, each week, golfers have to contend with a different course.

     

     But, I say it’s tennis because players have to be in top physical condition, while nearly anyone in any shape can win a golf major.

     

     Plus, in golf, players have a caddy helping them make decisions. In tennis, players are on their own.

     

     In golf, you can have a bad day on Thursday and still win the tournament. In tennis, if you have a bad day in the opening round, you’re on a plane out of there.

     

     In golf, it’s the player against the course. There’s no defense in golf. In tennis, there’s a human opponent trying to beat you.

     

     In golf, the ball is lying still. In tennis the ball is coming at you at 140 mph.

     

     So which is the tougher sport, golf or tennis? I’m right ... right?

     

     ZG: Are you serious? Who is this guy who says golf is harder? The answer is tennis and it’s not even close.

     

    You’re playing against someone. You’re only controlling the ball when it’s on your side of the net. You can’t control what the other player is doing. It’s almost like a boxer coming at you.

     

    You have to have both the physical and mental capacity to win. In golf, if you have a bad day, it’s because you’re having that bad day. There’s no opponent competing with you. So, I’m saying it’s tennis.

     

     CM (note to John Granato): I win. Granted, it might have been the way I asked the question. Also, Garrison is a former tennis pro.

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