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    Shelby About Town

    What to wear when the invitation is indecipherable? Check the CultureMap Guideto Proper Party Attire

    Shelby Hodge
    Jul 30, 2010 | 6:00 am
    • There is no wiggle room for a "white-tie-and-tails" fashion mandate. And theladies must wear long.
      Photo by Gary Fountain
    • "Tuxes & Tennies" challenges the Houston Rockets charity gala crowd each year.
      Photo by Patrick Peñas for LastNightPics.com
    • "Urban Armor" was the look at Spacetaker's Apocalypto gala last spring.
      Photo by Bill Olive
    • When the invitation calls for black-tie, the ladies step out in their finestgowns and jewels.
      Photo by Gary Fountain
    • The Bayou Bend cocktail party in the garden could present a challenge but notfor these two.
      Photo by Gary Fountain

    The fall social season seems a long, sweltering summer away, but we're looking at no more than six weeks before the first official black-tie event of the fall season — the Houston Symphony Opening Night Concert & Dinner. And that doesn't count the Astros Wives Black Ties & Baseball Caps dinner at Minute Maid Park on Aug. 12 or the Ensemble Theatre black-tie gala on Aug. 14. Time to start thinking party clothes.

    While the black-tie mandate for the symphony evening at Jones Hall (dinner in the neighboring Bank of America lobby) is pretty clear cut, fashion options are not so stringent for the Astros event. Which begs the question: What to wear?

    It's a conundrum encountered with invitation after invitation as benefit chairs insist on being creative with the fashion theme that they wish for their guests to embrace. Casual chic, urban chic, beach party glamour, high black-tie, dressy chic, urban armor — get me a crystal ball.

    In truth though, for veterans of the social swirl, deciphering the dress codes is not overly challenging. But you have to know the party landscape, the host and the audience. A Lynn Wyatt dinner invitation calling for business attire, for example, requires a much tonier ensemble, at least for the ladies, than say a business attire dinner at the Hilton-Americas Houston.

    One important rule of thumb to keep in mind, it's a far better thing to be over-dressed rather than under-dressed. That is unless you show up at a party over-dressed in a tux and people start giving you drink orders. Not so nice and it does happen. Ask my husband.

    Check the invitation closely -- if it doesn't say black-tie, don't pull the Armani out of the cedar closet.

    To help novice partygoers navigate the tricky waters of society dress codes, we offer the CultureMap Guide to Proper Party Attire.

    Casual: Know your crowd. "Casual" means something completely different for recent college grads than it does for thirtysomethings. For grown-ups, "casual" typically includes jeans and a crisp cotton shirt or polo for men, skirts and tops or slacks and fashionable tops for women. T-shirts, flip flops and shorts are reserved for a younger audience. If it's an older, sophisticated crowd "casual" means leave the sports coat at home as well as the jeans.

    Casual chic/Dressy casual: Forget the jeans. Your hostess wants you to look fashionable – emphasis on chic. If you are prone to sparkles on your clothing, this would be the opportunity to pull out the glitter in a fun fashion way but not in cocktail mode. For men, check if the host is wearing a sports coat. Of course, if you are particularly handsome, sharp jeans worn with crisp white shirt and snappy blue blazer could work.

    Garden party chic: Several parties each spring pose a garden fashion theme. For ladies, this means frothy frocks, not cocktail mind you, but something light and fresh. Think pastels and florals. Black is verboten. For gents, the look would be those pastel-colored golf blazers, though we ask that you leave the Master's Cup green at home, or a light summer suit. Linen is especially nice.

    Urban chic: Don't let this one trip you up. It's really quite simple — basic black, with or without tattoos and body piercings. Black jeans, black T-shirts, black dress with black stockings, black leather jackets. You get the picture.

    Business attire: No questions, here. "Business attire" means exactly what it says – if you are a banker or lawyer. What you wear to the office would be appropriate. However, if you wear jeans and a polo shirt to the cubicle, better go home and change. Business most often means a jacket and tie. For women, "business attire" connotes something fashionable but not fussy. This is not cocktail dress territory. Think sophisticated. Skip the glitz.

    Cocktail attire: This demands a dark suit for men while allowing more flexibility for women. Fancy frocks, glamorous slacks ensembles and so-called cocktail suits are appropriate. Long dresses are considered cocktail attire, though tea-length will work. Turn on the glitz, if you must.

    Black-tie: There is little room here for a peacock to stretch his fashion prowess beyond the cummerbund and bow tie, which come in myriad fabrics. Black-tie means a tux. For women, once again the interpretation is more liberal — long gown, short gown (though it must be fancy), evening pants ensemble, even a glitzy cocktail suit can pass if the event is held during the week. On Friday and Saturday nights, a long dress or evening pants would be a better choice.

    White dinner jacket: This is the summer version of black-tie, traditionally not recommended before Memorial Day or after Labor Day. But it's so hot in Houston so early in the season that the white dinner jacket has gained acceptance following Easter or once the temps start rising above 80 degrees. Do get out the white dinner jacket also for any Casablanca-themed event. For women, there are numerous possibilities from floaty dinner dresses to cocktail pants to long dresses, again depending on the context. A charity gala calling for "white dinner jacket" attire will be more formal than the themed evening.

    Black-tie variations: Black-Tie & Boots, Black Ties & Baseball Caps, Tuxes & Tennies. Once the brand is bastardized, practically anything goes for men and women. This is costume territory. But don't think overly casual. Keep "fancy" in mind. We've seen numerous interpretations from tuxes worn with T-shirts to tux style above the waist and strictly western below. This is a tricker fashion question for women, who tend to stick to cocktail attire for this sort of evening.

    White-tie-and-tails: This is the one dress code that is most often violated — by women, seldom by men. Sure, some guys will show up in their tuxedos because they don't have or refuse to rent the proper formal attire. But basically white-tie-and-tails is strictly that. For women, the requirement is a long dress, preferably a full-skirted ball gown. Evening pants ensembles are no no's just as a short dress is a major fashion foul-up. Think long. And, if you are a royal, think tiaras.

    Off the wall attire: While Spacetaker's "Apocalypto" gala in March didn't exactly stress a form of dress or costuming, "Urban Armor" seemed to be the fashion theme. That post-apocalypse look included everything from leather chaps to chains and whips, tattoos and body piercings encouraged. When DiverseWorks, the Orange Show, Glasstire, Spacetaker and other alternative arts groups throw a party, count on costuming as the ticket. Leave the swell party frocks and blue blazers in the closet. And, please, do not over-stress on the subject. Typically, anything goes in these counter-fashion events.

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    Stories of Strength

    Lights of love shine during Houston cancer charity’s emotional gathering

    Joel Luks
    Jun 20, 2025 | 3:47 pm
    CanCare Hope Survivorship Luncheon 2025
    Photo by Daniel Ortiz
    Darcie Wells, Meredith Beaupre, and Nick Adam.

    There wasn’t a dry eye or an empty seat in the house as 400 guests filled River Oaks Country Club for CanCare’s annual Hope Survivorship Luncheon. The gathering, chaired by Michele Leal Farah and Tony Bradfield, raised more than $350,000 to fuel CanCare’s mission of providing peer support to those facing cancer.

    In a show of community continuity, six years of former luncheon chairs joined in celebration, including Donna and Norman Lewis, Jordan Seff, Kelley Lubanko, Stephanie Tsuru, honorary chair Frank Tsuru, Phoebe and Bobby Tudor, and 2026 luncheon chair Kristy Bradshaw.

    Emceed by longtime supporter Lisa Malosky, the program introduced CanCare’s newest literary endeavor — Hope in the Face of Cancer — a moving collection of stories from survivors, caregivers, and healthcare professionals. President and CEO Darcie Wells framed the book as both inspiration and action, echoing the nonprofit’s mission to pair cancer patients and caregivers with trained survivors.

    Generosity flowed early, with Giving Tree gift cards snatched up before lunch began and a glittering raffle sponsored by Tenenbaum Jewelers offering winners the pick of dazzling jewelry or coveted Astros Diamond Club seats.

    This year’s honorees reflected the many sides of the cancer fight. Corporate Honoree JP Morgan Chase was represented by Nick Adam and Meredith Beaupre, who spoke to the bank’s commitment to local impact. Healthcare Honoree Dr. Katy Rezvani, a pioneering force at MD Anderson Cancer Center, also delivered the keynote address, sharing breakthroughs from her work as vice president of the Cell Therapy Institute. Community Honorees, the Mir Family, embodied resilience with Marisa Mir, Beckie Mir, Marcie Mir, Gasper Mir III, and Gasper Mir IV all recognized for their shared journey.

    The emotional centerpiece of the afternoon was the candle lighting ceremony, which filled the room with flickering flames held high in memory of loved ones. Keith Saathoff followed with a powerful testimonial, and nearly every attendee gave in the appeal that followed.

    Part of the luminous gathering were Brigitte Kalai, Alicia Smith, Jordan Seff, Vanessa Ames, Megan Vondra, Fady Armanious, Titus Harris, Kristen Cannon, Leigh Smith, Whitney Kuhn Lawson, Vicki Luna, Anne Neeson, Ileana and Michael Trevino, Cyndy Garza Roberts, Hallie Vanderhider and Bobby Dees, Jennifer Allison, Lesha Elsenbrook, Denise Monteleone, Katie Tsuru, Cathy Brock, Creighton Edwards, Christy Lynn, Michael Fife, John Nau, Martiza Gonzales, and Heidi Rockcharlie.

    CanCare Hope Survivorship Luncheon 2025
      

    Photo by Daniel Ortiz

    Darcie Wells, Meredith Beaupre, and Nick Adam.

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