A sprawling 72-acre property for sale in Boerne has people going wild on social media, and it's not hard to see why: The Lazy River Ranch, located four hours west (about 240 miles) from Houston at 227 Seewald Rd., is a private paradise with a (relatively) modest price tag of $4.85 million.
Photo courtesy of Kuper Sotheby's
The goat pasture has its own goat house on 18 acres of land.
The stunning property boasts extravagant amenities like a fully renovated 1,800-square-foot guest house with a two car garage, a driving range and multi-hole putting green, and an 18-acre fenced goat pasture. But the biggest highlight is (as the property's name implies) its own lazy river.
The "river" was custom designed by San Antonio contractors Keith Zars Pools and includes features you'd only expect to find at a luxurious resort: It's temperature controlled and fully lit, so guests can enjoy floating or swimming at any time of day, all year-round. In the center of the lazy river, connected by a custom built bridge, is a green space with a sunken patio area, fire pit, and a swim-up bar. A beautiful waterfall across from the swim-up bar adds to the relaxed tranquility of the area.
The view from the lazy river is breathtaking in the evenings.Photo courtesy of Kuper Sotheby's
The property first hit the market in July 2022 for $7.35 million, but that was before the ranch owners – who wish to remain private – split up the property into separate allotments of 27 and 72 acres, according to Kris Forks of Kuper Sotheby's International Realty, who has the listing. The acreage changes resulted in price reductions to its current $4.85 million price, as of April 3.
An April 14 post on the Facebook page that features over-the-top homes, Zillow Gone Wild, made the Lazy River Ranch instantly social media-famous. As of publication time, more than 700 people had chimed in to comment.
"If y'all peasants need me, I'll be in my lazy river in a rainbow swan floatie," one Facebook user wrote.
Forks says he was delighted that his listing was featured. "That's always great to have that kind of exposure," Forks says.
Other extravagant features that have people talking include:
- A 5,000-square-foot renovated main house with Viking appliances
- Custom glass sunroom with sliding accordion doors
- Covered grilling gazebo area
- Keith Zars Pools custom built Junior Olympic pool
- A "rock beach" leading to the lazy river
- 1,400-square-foot, one bedroom one bathroom pool house equipped with a full kitchen, laundry room, and custom cabinetry
- Large garage building with extra storage rooms and a second story potential guest suite
- 400-square-foot custom-built "game room"
- A custom built shooting range with 30-, 50-, and 100-yard shooting decks
- A barn with concrete floors for hosting ATVs, a Polaris Ranger, or other "toys"
- A combination sport court
- Additional 44-acre pasture for livestock with more barns and storage buildings
Of course, social media loves to throw some shade, too. Some commenters wondered about the high cost of maintaining the property, while others expressed sarcastic curiosity about other lavish features.
"Everyone's talking about maintenance on the pool and lawn, and I'm wondering how they keep the windows on the sunroom clean," one X user replied under Zillow Gone Wild's tweet about the ranch.
The Windex budget for the sunroom must be substantial.Photo courtesy of Kuper Sotheby's
Meanwhile, Texas social media users were quick to help out-of-towners with their pronunciation of the ranch's address.
"Stopping in to inform that that town in pronounced 'bur-knee' because #texas in case anyone was wondering," wrote another Facebook user.
More information about the property can be found on lazyriverranch.info.
