Brace yourself, technophiles. We have some disturbing news for you. The savior of long-distance relationships the world over — both romantic and platonic — was purchased on Tuesday like a mail-order bride.

In one of the most unexpected arranged marriages in the modern age, dearly beloved little Skype is now betrothed to technology behemoth Microsoft. An $8.5 billion dollar price tag — Microsoft's most costly acquisition yet — was all it took to turn a pioneer of real-time communication into the bad guy's whipping boy.

Skype, initially released in Aug. 2003, has long been the darling, go-to software of those that use the Internet for voice calls anywhere in the world — without paying exorbitant fees.

For a notoriously cost-free service that has yet to generate a pretty penny in profit on its own, Microsoft's efforts to make Skype generate revenue ought to be interesting.

Or incredibly damaging. Take your pick.

Because let's be honest. Microsoft might be the leader in corporate computing, but innovative freedom doesn't exactly characterize its brand.

So just what is Microsoft planning to do with Skype, pray tell?

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer wants to fold it into existing Microsoft products. Windows Live Messenger and the enterprise communications client Lync stand to be the initial beneficiaries of the takeover. And maybe Xbox and Xbox Live, but that's just speculation for now.

But still. Windows Live Messenger already has the VoIP technology down pat, not to mention the 330 million monthly users that go with it. Compared with Skype's meager 124 million per month, we're not sure we've got the whole truth.

So it can't be that.

You know what we think? It's the simple thrill of the hunt. Reaping the booty for the sake of the capture, if you will. Because now that Microsoft has Skype, neither Google nor Facebook ever, ever will.

Victory!

Skype falling prey to Microsoft: good thing or a bad thing, according to you? Tell us in the comments.