How about a coonskin cap?
No-bama allowed: How to dress patriotic while voting
What political party does this lady support? The Whigs?Photo by David L. Ryan/The Globe
Confederate flags and bikinis: the classy combo.
Coonskin cap = party of awesome
Not allowed.
If you ask us, wearing an Obama T-shirt to vote is like wearing a band T-shirt to their concert. It's just not done — everyone knows you wear something cool to the concert and wear the band T-shirt the next day to remind everyone how awesome you are for going to the show.
And although the concert shirt etiquette is strictly voluntary, the Obama shirt rule is actually codified law. Texas state law prohibits electioneering within 100 feet of any voting or early voting place — a rule that is interpreted to include the wearing or bringing of any item supporting a candidate, party or political measure.
One woman, at least, in Houston learned this the hard way when she was turned away for her Obama shirt — though in theory she should have been able to turn it inside out and continue. In Dallas, some Tea Partiers were turned away when they refused to remove their Gadsden flag pins that have become the symbol for the movement (the rattlesnake over the words “Don’t Tread on Me”). This has, predictably, prompted other Tea Party members not to check their accessories at the door but to freak the fuck out.
If you feel the overwhelming need to show your patriotism at the polls, we've got a few ideas that shouldn't** necessitate a wardrobe change.
- Flag paraphernalia. "Don't Tread On Me" and "Come and Take It" can now be construed politically, so leave them at home (or at least in your car). But the good old American flag is bipartisan. So throw on your flag pins — all of them, in a cluster — grab that Old Navy flag tee you take family photos in, put on one red croc and one blue croc and you're ready to vote a straight Republican ticket.
- Ye olde tyme clothes. No matter what anyone tells you, Paul Revere was not a member of the Tea Party, nor was any other founding father. So dressing up in period costume should pass muster at the door. If challenged, tell them it's a dry run before Halloween. Don't forget to cut the tea bags off your three-point hat and do your fellow voters a favor by leaving the cryer bell at home.
- Coonskin cap. Nothing says "I don't need a hand-out from the government" like headgear you've killed and fastened yourself. Unless you live or vote anywhere near Montrose, in which case your coonskin will be one of several worn as the latest fauxhemian fashion must-have, leading to being asked several times about your rockabilly band and being offered mid-range weed.
And of course if you want to show support for the other team, you can always wear your Harvard shirt and bring the New York Times, Rachael Ray keffiyeh optional.
**We think. We aren't lawyers, and we aren't responsible for people who actually try this stuff.
