Decorating a space is an inherently private process, which is probably why fighting is so common among couples in furniture stores. So when columnist Caroline Gallay and I were assigned to pick the appointments for the new CultureLounge, I knew that it was an ideal community service opportunity to impose my supreme taste upon my coworkers.

Knowing we only had 30 days to completely makeover an odd-shaped room with IKEA Houston providing the furniture and everything else basically on us, I assumed my masterful vision would be embraced. Then, Caroline came in with some "ideas" of her own.

Last week, Princess Caroline detailed her Kappa Kappa Tacky aesthetic. (My eyes are sore, too.) While Caroline's sorority house past has provided great teamwork skills and an admirable penchant for catty gossip, I have to wonder if the preponderance of paisley during her formative years have permanently debilitated her sense of taste.

Allow me to elaborate on my own credentials. In eighth grade, I received my first design commission (my bedroom, assigned by my parents). The acclaim that that project generated soon landed me at Pratt Institute, where I enlivened my dorm room with Ellsworth Kelly prints from my favorite Whitney show.

My passion for design knew no boundaries. I soon found myself enrolling at Barcelona's Elisava Escola Superior de Disseny (that's Catalan for "design," not Disney), making mockups of cerebral spaces.

Since then, my design acumen has led me to work at two Houston design institutions. At Sunset Settings, I helped peddle museum-quality modernist gems. The city's design intelligentsia gravitates to the atelier for top-notch, authentic pieces the likes of the LC-1, Eero Saarinen's Womb chair and the Eames Eiffel Plastic Armchair. I wiled away the hot summer in fast-paced conversations on aesthetics, taking breaks to recite from Le Corbusier's L'Art Décoratif d'aujourd'hui.

Upon graduation, I found myself curating a selection of charmingly forward objects at PH Design Shop. Embroidered notebooks, illustrated dictionaries and provocative postcards floated about the boutique. When I left that job to become a full-time assistant editor at CultureMap, I took solace knowing that I could contribute my knack for carefully-composed design environments.

Since March, I've written pieces about Houston's own designers, like wacdesignstudio, ONE3Creative and the architects of Hotel Sorella.

I was instructed to write a diatribe on my preferred style as a counterpoint to Caroline's Friday thesis, but by the second time I saw "paisley," I was crying so hard that my reading abilities were rendered nonfunctional. Which leads me to my main point: functionality should be the central philosophy of a room. Fake sunflowers, corkboard and Chippendale are all obstructions to the lounge's purpose.

Rather than a college rec room, I envision the lounge as a 21st century salon, the headquarters for Houston's tastemakers and philosophes.

Subtlety shall reign: think dark tones and chrome detailing. But let it be known that I'm not afraid of the spare trendy piece. I have a short list of inspiration from this year's Milan Salone Internaziole del Mobile, and I've been caught at work oooing and ahhing at this month's conceptual parade at the London Design Festival.

And while I have an eye for high design, I've also been known to apply a refined eclecticism to my own home, where dinner party guests fawn over Duchampian objets trouvés, my own postmodern interpretations of Mondrian's grid paintings, vintage Menil Collection posters or tokens from travels: hanging leather maps of the outer Argentinian provinces or a shot glass a dear confidante bought in a Lisbon train station.

I've already incorporated several IKEA items into my own bedroom, so I'm personally familiar with how choice pieces at reasonable prices can be found at the Swedish retailer. CultureMap devotees can trust that under my authoritative gaze, Caroline's paisley agenda will be subverted.

I'm also just not sure that we can trust somebody who uses the term "awesome blossom" as a replacement adjective for "good."

So whose design philosophy do you prefer? Flower girl or a design savant? I think we all know the correct answer.

Coming up Wednesday: The Challenge is put into the IKEA Challenge when Caroline and Steven attempt to assemble their chosen furniture.

Other articles in the IKEA Challenge series:

Creating a lounge in 30 days without killing each other

Sizing up the room specs, spots for the Shelby Hodge statue & kissing booth

The meddling begins: Our room makeover designers face opposition in the office

The room makeover duo hits the store and encounters a velvet divide

Paisley, accents & corkboard — design ideals from a flower child sorority girl hit the CultureLounge