weekend event planner

Here are the top 14 things to do in Houston this weekend

Denise Fennel The Bride stages theatre 2023

Here comes Denise Fennel as 'The Bride' at Stages.

Photo by Melissa Taylor

As quickly as it came, RodeoHouston will soon wrap. But until then, plenty of shows vie for Houston's attention. As for this weekend, look for a Latino film festival, cool concerts, and a can't-miss dinner.

Cole Porter — his music, anyway — headlines Houston Symphony, while Stages Theatre stages a hysterical, almost runaway bride. Bike riders will spin in the East End, things get weird at an oddities show, and a garage sale goes totally punk rock.

Enjoy; here are your best bets for the weekend.

Thursday, March 16

Houston Latino Film Festival

The 2023 Houston Latino Film Festival just started on Wednesday and will go on for the rest of the weekend. The fest will feature 28 separate programs, including 17 feature films/documentaries, 10 short film programs, and a festival-long art exhibition. Highlights include the opening night film Carajita, the documentary Los Hermanos, and the closing night film As Bestas. For a full schedule of events, go here. 5 pm.

Hull & Oak presents A Dinner with Uncle Nearest

Hull & Oak, located within The Laura Hotel downtown, will host an evening with Uncle Nearest, a premium whiskey which honors the world’s first-known African American master distiller, Nearest Green. The event will offer guests a unique experience, while Uncle Nearest creatively showcases their award-winning American whiskey and story with a three-course pairing dinner. This dinner is $95 all-inclusive, including tax and gratuity. Seating is extremely limited. 7 pm.

Eden MacAdam-Somer in concert

Composer/performer/improviser Eden MacAdam-Somer is one of today’s most exciting and versatile artists, as well as an interpreter of modern music. Her new program features several works for solo artists on voice, violin, and body percussion, such as Rumi Songs, a partially composed, partially improvised song cycle. Also in the program are works by modern composers, jazz and traditional Yiddish songs. 7:30 pm.

Friday, March 17

Parachute Play Time at CITYCENTRE

Parachute Play Time officially returns to CITYCENTRE this weekend. Join the British International School of Houston on the third Friday of every month (from March through October) with fun craft activities, games and don't miss out on the big parachute! Participation is $6 per child. During the hotter months, water sprinklers will be available for kiddos to cool off. This event is weather pending. When the weather is hot, sprinklers will be provided to cool off the kiddos. 9 am.

The Museum of Fine Arts, Houston presents No Bears (Khers nist)

The latest film from renowned Iranian director Jafar Panahi was completed shortly before his imprisonment in July 2022. Playing a fictionalized version of himself, Panahi is thrust in the middle of a local scandal when he relocates to a rural border town in Iran to direct, remotely, a new film in nearby Türkiye. He must confront the opposing pulls of tradition and progress, city and country, belief and evidence, and the universal desire to reject oppression. 7 pm

Houston Symphony presents Let’s Misbehave: The Songs of Cole Porter

Cole Porter’s sophisticated, sexy, and timeless songs continue to inhabit a unique place in society. It’s no wonder his work has been interpreted by countless artists across the decades. Tony DeSare and his guests Bria Skonberg (trumpet/vocals) and John Manzari (tap dance/vocals) will give a fresh spin on such hits as “Night and Day,” “I Get A Kick Out of You,” “I’ve Got You Under My Skin,” “It’s De-Lovely,” “You’re the Top,” and many more. 8 pm (2:30 pm Sunday).

Stages presents Denise Fennell's The Bride, or: Does this Dress Make Me Look Married?

A fan favorite known for her role as Sister in Late Nite Catechism, Denise Fennell returns to Stages for an all-new, hysterical comedy showcase. With less than two hours to her wedding, a bride of a certain age begins to question the meaning of love, life, and the ritual of marriage.

From an interactive wedding shower to an on-stage re-creation of an Italian “Sunday Suppah,” this show will lead to the decision of a lifetime: Will she or won’t she? Through Sunday, May 14. 8 pm (2:30 & 8 pm Saturday; 2:30 pm Sunday).

Saturday, March 18

Oddities & Curiosities Expo

The Oddities and Curiosities Expo features over 150 oddity vendors and artists and draws people from all walks of life who enjoy the strange and unusual. The event offers something for everyone. Visitors will have the opportunity to browse and shop for a wide variety of rare and unusual items from local and national vendors, including taxidermy, preserved animal specimens, original horror and Halloween-inspired artwork, antiques, handcrafted oddities, skulls, bones, and funeral collectibles. 10 am.

Houston TX Hot Chicken Grand Opening

Houston TX Hot Chicken expands to open a new location (10111 Louetta Road), with a menu that features hot chicken in the form of sandwiches, tenders and more, There will be complimentary, signature hot chicken sandwiches available until 3 pm for all attendees, along with an exciting car show to mark the celebratory occasion. The car show will have a live DJ playing music, along with a variety of cars on display so people can roll in and view — while enjoying some crispy chicken. Noon.

The Hardy & Nance Studios present “Androids Dream of Electric Sleep: A Digital Art & Photography Show”

Join The Hardy & Nance Studios for a night of artwork that shows a visual representation of your dreams by using any electronic means of creation. Digital art, digital collage, AI art, composite art, digital photography are all present. This free event will be one night only, and free street parking around the studio complex. Complimentary adult and non-alcoholic beverages, along with beer courtesy of Karbach Brewing, will also be available. 5 pm.

Miller Outdoor Theatre presents Miller 100 Roaring '20s Style

For 100 years, Miller Outdoor Theatre has delighted generations of audiences with the best in performing arts entertainment, and every performance has been free. Come celebrate Miller’s past, present, and future with four experiential events, each beginning two hours prior to a live performance — with enough time to roll down the hill. The first one celebrates the “birth” of Miller in 1923 with a '20s-themed extravaganza featuring vaudeville performers, photo installations, and jazzy music by the Hot Sardines. 6 pm.

Sunday, March 19

East End Bike Ride presents Bici Pulga

Calling all MS150 teams, bike groups, and individuals: East End Bike Ride will be holding a bicycle flea market and swap meet, over at the D&W Lounge parking lot. Come set up at the market and sell your bike merch, bike parts, accessories, etc. There will also be spots for arts & crafts and food. Space is limited, so you must send them a message if you would like to set up and get assigned a 10x10 spot. You must provide your own table/canopy and stay the entire time. Noon.

Plants and Pints at Equal Parts Brewing Co.

Since spring has sprung, you can head over to Houston Plant Market for a day of outdoor fun, to be held at Equal Parts Brewing Co. They’ve got everything you're looking for, including local honey, pet treats, handmade jewelry, fresh baked goods, rare houseplants, native plants, and lots of other locally made items. Plus, you can grab something to eat, have a drink, and enjoy some live music. Celebrate spring and fill your home and garden with the best blooms of the season. Noon.

Punk Rock Garage Sale at Bad Astronaut Brewing

Insomnia Gallery and Deep End Records will be heading back to Bad Astronaut Brewing for this month’s Punk Rock Garage Sale. There will be dozens of vendors (music, art, toys, books, collectibles, comics, clothing, music gear, etc.) inside this massive adult playground of a venue, which features pool tables, foosball, air hockey, cornhole and more, all indoors. Screwed Up Tapatios will also be back to serve up food, along with Bad Astronaut's own in-house pizzas. 1 pm.

Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

movies film