ready for some football

College Football Championship weekend kicks off in Houston with free concerts, events, and more

America's eyes will be on Houston on Monday, January 8, as the city hosts the College Football Playoff National Championship game at NRG Stadium, broadcast live on ESPN. Houston, notably, scores the championship game as the College Football Playoffs toast 10 years.

The game sees No. 1-ranked Michigan Wolverines — who bested Alabama in the Rose Bowl — face off with the No. 2-ranked Washington Huskies, who just broke UT fans' hearts after beating the Longhorns in the Sugar Bowl.

While swarms of Wolverines and Huskies will hit H-Town for Monday's championship game, locals won't need a championship ticket to get in on the action, thanks to a jam-packed weekend of events — almost all of which are free.

Downtown has been dubbed Championship Campus for the big weekend activities: Playoff Fan Central, AT&T Playoff Playlist Live!, the Trophy Trot 5K and 10K, Taste of the Championship, and the Allstate Championship Tailgate.

We've got the playbook for all the fun starting Friday, January 5. But first, an insider tip:

CultureMap readers who use luxury rideshare service Alto can score $10 off two rides through Monday night. To help pregame, beloved Houston brewery Karbach is getting the first round for Alto users with free beers in the car during championship weekend rides through Monday (for riders 21 and older — sorry, high schoolers). Be sure to use code CHAMPIONSHIP when booking an Alto trip online.

Now, game on.

Playoff Fan Central: Friday-Sunday, January 5-7 at the George R. Brown Convention Center

The free, three-day, family-friendly activities kick off at noon on Friday. Expect games, serious athletic drills, autograph signings, cool activations, youth sports clinics, pep rallies, photo opps, and special exhibits celebrating all things college football.

Arrive early (9 am) on Saturday for Media Day. Fans get free access as Michigan and Washington coaches and players are interviewed; fans can listen in with mini radios supplied at the program.

College Football Playoff National Championship 2024 Houston drills Work those agility drills at Fan Fest.Photo courtesy of College Football Playoffs

It's not just the football teams facing off: The Michigan and Washington bands will perform on Sunday at 2 pm and 3 pm, respectively, for what promises to be a super sonic showdown.

AT&T Playoff Playlist Live!: Friday-Sunday, January 5-7 at Shell Energy Stadium

Kudos to event organizers and sponsors for securing musical talent that demands top-dollar tickets — for free. These AT&T Playoff Playlist Live! free concerts get the energy pumping, starting with Kidz Bop on Friday.

Country stat Megan Moroney takes the stage Sunday along with Jon Pardi and Jake Owen.Photo by David McClister

Rap and hip-hop fans should be ready to line up for rap stars Jack Harlow, the pride of Kentucky rap who's making waves with his new VR concert experience. Two-time Grammy nominee Latto, many remember her as the star of The Rap Game reality show, also takes the stage on Saturday. They'll be joined by towering (he's 6'5) Georgia rapper 2 Chainz, a former college athlete himself, who hooped for Alabama State University.

Sunday gets country with Grand Ole Opry member/crooner Jon Pardi, who just revealed he's sober and is a refreshing country throwback. Handsome star singer-songwriter (and passionate golfer) Jake Owen is also on the bill, as is and multi-platinum country artist-songwriter Megan Moroney, a rising, charismatic star.

Fans must register for concert tickets online in advance, show the QR code via the CFBPlayoff mobile app at the convention center, and secure a wristband for entry to all shows except Kidz Bop on Friday.

Trophy Trot: Sunday, January 7 downtown

Get that pre-game cardio in with a family-friendly run/walk starting at 9 am. New this year, participants can compete in both 5K and 10K distances. Each Trophy Trot participant receives a T-shirt and medal, with numerous chances to win tickets to the CFP National Championship game the next day. Registration is open now.

All proceeds benefit Extra Yard for Teachers, the College Football Playoff Foundation's nonprofit that inspires and empowers quality teachers.

Taste of the Championship: Sunday, January 7 at Union Station in Minute Maid Park

As we reported, this premium dining experience and fundraising event boasts a veritable gourmet feast from an all-star roster of chefs and more than 30 restaurants. James Beard Award-winning chef, media personality, and CultureMap Wine Guy Chris Shepherd will host, backed up by Louisiana-based party band The Phunky Monkeys. All proceeds benefit the CFP Foundation's Extra Yard for Teachers platform. Find tickets here.

Southern Smoke Festival 2023 Houston food all stars Aaron Bludorn and Chris Shepherd headline Taste of the Championship. Photo by Emily Jaschke

Allstate Championship Tailgate: Monday, January 8 at NRG Stadium

What's a big-time football game without a tailgate? Fans with a ticket to Monday's showdown should head to Blue Lots 16, 17, and 18 starting at 11 am. This tailgate features interactive games, activations, concessions, award-winning musical acts, live performances by each team’s marching band, and a chance to watch the live ESPN broadcasts.

Again: Fans must present a national championship game ticket for entry to the Allstate Championship Tailgate.

Stay on top of all the action and updates at Championship Campus online and follow @CFBPlayoff on social media.

College Football Playoff National Championship 2024 Houston trophy

Photo courtesy of College Football Playoff National Championship

Monday's College Football Playoff National Championship game will kick off with a weekend of free events.

Movie Review

Meta-comedy remake Anaconda coils itself into an unfunny mess

Photo by Matt Grace

Jack Black and Paul Rudd in Anaconda.

In Hollywood’s never-ending quest to take advantage of existing intellectual property, seemingly no older movie is off limits, even if the original was not well-regarded. That’s certainly the case with 1997’s Anaconda, which is best known for being a lesser entry on the filmography of Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez, as well as some horrendous accent work by Jon Voight.

The idea behind the new meta-sequel Anaconda is arguably a good one. Four friends — Doug (Jack Black), Griff (Paul Rudd), Claire (Thandiwe Newton), and Kenny (Steve Zahn) — who made homemade movies when they were teenagers decide to remake Anaconda on a shoestring budget. Egged on by Griff, an actor who can’t catch a break, the four of them pull together enough money to fly down to Brazil, hire a boat, and film a script written by Doug.

Naturally, almost nothing goes as planned in the Amazon, including losing their trained snake and running headlong into a criminal enterprise. Soon enough, everything else takes second place to the presence of a giant anaconda that is stalking them and anyone else who crosses its path.

Written and directed by Tom Gormican, with help from co-writer Kevin Etten, the film is designed to be an outrageous comedy peppered with laugh-out-loud moments that cover up the fact that there’s really no story. That would be all well and good … if anything the film had to offer was truly funny. Only a few scenes elicit any honest laughter, and so instead the audience is fed half-baked jokes, a story with no focus, and actors who ham it up to get any kind of reaction.

The biggest problem is that the meta-ness of the film goes too far. None of the core four characters possess any interesting traits, and their blandness is transferred over to the actors playing them. And so even as they face some harrowing situations or ones that could be funny, it’s difficult to care about anything they do since the filmmakers never make the basic effort of making the audience care about them.

It’s weird to say in a movie called Anaconda, but it becomes much too focused on the snake in the second half of the film. If the goal is to be a straight-up comedy, then everything up to and including the snake attacks should be serving that objective. But most of the time the attacks are either random or moments when the characters are already scared, and so any humor that could be mined all but disappears.

Black and Rudd are comedy all-stars who can typically be counted on to elevate even subpar material. That’s not the case here, as each only scores on a few occasions, with Black’s physicality being the funniest thing in the movie. Newton is not a good fit with this type of movie, and she isn’t done any favors by some seriously bad wigs. Zahn used to be the go-to guy for funny sidekicks, but he brings little to the table in this role.

Any attempt at rebooting/remaking an old piece of IP should make a concerted effort to differentiate itself from the original, and in that way, the new Anaconda succeeds. Unfortunately, that’s its only success, as the filmmakers can never find the right balance to turn it into the bawdy comedy they seemed to want.

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Anaconda is now playing in theaters.

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